Blended Families PDF

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Assignment to highlight highs and lows of blended families...

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Blended Families Wannette Peterson DBFA 600 Liberty University

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When it comes to success chances amongst blended families, it is vital to begin planning very early how the family will function before marriage is done. This paper offers an in-depth analysis of the topic 'Blended Families.' It will present the challenges and struggles faced by blended families. The paper will also look into current issues involved within blended families and approaches that can be incorporated to foster effective blended families. Introduction In contemporary society, blended families have become more common as compared to traditional ages. This type of family arises when parents remarry mainly after undergoing a divorce. With the increasing divorce rates and remarriages, blended families continue to increase. According to Mathis (2017), a blended family refers to a family with children from previous relationships, of whom one of the parents is a biological parent, and the other is a step-parent. It entails encompasses adult couple and their children from previous relationships (Mathis, 2017). Apparently, this is an indication that problems of earlier marriages have a high likelihood of being transferred to the new relationship. All families are susceptible to conflicts; however, blended families have peculiar issues that many individuals are unfamiliar with. Understanding what to expect in blended families and societal views regarding this concept is significant to avoid and address issues before they become uncontrollable.

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Challenges and Struggles Experienced in Blended Families Differences in Parenting, Discipline, And Lifestyle. The primary challenge of bringing together two different families is the difference in parenting styles and family routines (Rasheed, Kamsin & Abdullah, 2020). Bringing two other families together can be very challenging. Children may be sued to diverse parenting styles and family routines. The conflict between separating families can be stressful, especially between step-parents and parents that live outside the new family tends to increase stress. There is also the likelihood of potential rivalry and conflict between new stepsiblings. In most cases, it takes time for children to adapt to the new family structure, which affects them psychologically. Sources of Frustration for Adults and Children Involved in The Family Research shows that 66% of blended marriages involving children from previous marriages end. The stress impacts all the family members of the new blended family. For instance, conflicts between step-parents that live outside the new family increase and children's stress levels. Stress is basically a unique normal situation. The transition may seem to be going well, but still, there are always stressful conditions. These stressful aspects are contributed by various elements. First is the difference in parenting styles and the existence of string and conflicting emotions. This makes it hard to develop new solid bonds and relationships. These challenges are prone to happen even when everyone gets along in the same setting. For instance, the couple may have challenging times trying to cope up with their new roles in the family, especially with additional chores. Parents are

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required to learn how to be step-parent to stepchildren, and issues with children can also bring tension into the relationship. Background History of Blended Families According to Morris (2018), blended families founded the United States. George Washington was a stepfather when he married a young widow in 1759; he adopted his two children Jacky and Pasty. He showed love and care for these children. Despite the increasing prevalence of blended families, research is relatively recent and primarily concentrates on the past two decades. Most of the research reflects on what Gul & Nadeemullah (2017) stipulates as a deficit-comparison approach whereby the ideology of nuclear family largely constitutes the existing theoretical framework. Moreover, research concerning blended families only offers limited insights on matters regarding blended families (Gul & Nadeemullah, 2017). In the study by Ganong & Coleman (2018), blended families are regarded as the early development of their respective families. Blended families are regarded as a process of integration and reorganization that characterizes the development of a unique family form. One of the most informative research that looks into blended families is by (Papernow 2013). According to Papernow (2013), the blended family formation can be grouped into diverse stage models. From the clinical and non-clinical interviews, bleed family members advance based on seven developmental stages. The first step is the fantasy phase, where members hold unrealistic and unidealized expectations. The next stage is the immersion phase, where members start to realize the existing daily challenges of blended families, and their expectations are

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lowered. This is followed by the awareness phase, where family members try to make psychological sense of the confusion. The next stage is the mobilization phase which is a highly conflictual phase where feelings are expressed, and initial efforts to reach conscience are attempted. The fifth stage is the action phase, whereby members formulate new agreements and put in place a solid phase in which to build the family. This is followed by the contact phase, where positive and emotional relationships among various family members are established. And lastly is the resolution phase, where families a solid and stable family unit. However, most families are unable to reach this stage as most become unsuccessful in stage four. State of Blended Families Prevalence of Blended Families A blended family is a pervasive social unit in America's social landscape. According to Ossiannilsson (2018), approximately 25% of Americans are currently members of a blended family with approximately 10 million children. Every family is different, and so is its success rate. Nevertheless, stepfamily research suggests about 60 to 70 percent of marriages, including children from a previous marriage, fail (Ossiannilsson, 2018). If the prevailing divorce and remarriage rates continue to about 35% of American children will be part of a blended family before becoming adults. Statistics on Stepfamily Success Every blended family is unique, and the success rates are different. According to Gold (2016), approximately 60% to 70% of blended marriages involving children from previous marriages fail. This is a high rate, approximately twice the number of all

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marriages ending in divorce. What helps successful blended families is the establishment of strong bonds with stepchildren with both parents. Adolescents that believe they have a strong bond with their parents rather than step-parent in this family setting will feel a greater sense of family belonging compered to children who do not view such relationship on a positive note. In the study Gold (2017), establishing a positive environment plays a significant role in fostering success in this type of family. What can make blended families successful is the presence of two cooperative parents willing to create a loving environment for their children Past Approaches Statistics Regarding the State of Blended Families In the past, divorce was condemned, and so who choose to undergo it. This stigma sticks with remarried parents even up to date. This is one of the most pervasive problems in blended families. The U.S. Census is done every ten years, and there are also 1,300 new stepfamilies forming every day. Nevertheless, 16% of children live in blended families from the same statistics. There's also a possibility this number could be higher (Winkler, 2017). Parenting Approaches for Blended Families The American family is evolving. Fifty years ago, a nuclear family of two biological parents and children was the norm. Currently, there are increasing rates of single parents and blended families. The traditional family is made up of a married couple, and all are biological parents for all children. A blended, on the other hand, have only one biological parent and a step-parent. Children can have stepsisters and stepbrothers. This makes parental roles in both families different.

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Roles of stepmothers: The role of stepmother changes from what's comfortable to her children but to the entire blended family. A stepmother must show love and care equally to all children, which can be challenging. Understanding children's routine from a previous marriage is essential to make them adjust comfortably. According to Winkler (2017), stepmothers are unlikely to experience parent-like love relationships with their stepchildren. A stepfather needs to establish authority and discipline children if necessary. However, there is an increased likelihood of resentment from stepchildren as they seem as if the stepfather is compensating the absent biological father. Stepfather is nothing like being a biological father. However, a stepfather is expected to treat children as their biological father despite all challenges. Existing Research Role of Children’s Emotions and Feelings in Blended Families The current research on blended families addressed issues behind the development of belted families, communication and parenting strategies, and relationships between stepchildren and step-parents. The recent statistics of divorce and blended families today. The study by Papernow (2013) to look at the unique challenges of blended family’s outcomes shows that becoming a successful blended family takes time estimates to take around three to six years to attain successful stabilization. In struggling families, this takes much longer. Again, According to Papernow (2013), stepfamily adjustments are more challenging for children under eight years and harder for girls, more so for preadolescent girls (van Eeden-Moorefield & Pasley, 2013). Biological parents are required to maintain the discipline role not unless the step-parent is caring and

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have a trusting relationship with their stepchildren (Ganong & Coleman, 2018). Moreover, the authors stipulate that step-parents must start off by forging relationships with stepchildren, for example, creating connection and not corrections. This is because the authoritarian and harsh form of parenting by step-parents is a source of damaged relationships with stepchildren and even their parents. 60% to 70% of blended families marriages fail (Ossiannilsson, 2018). The Current Perspectives of What A Blended Family Should Look Like The current family progression is affected by what Ganong and Colemna (2018) term as a deficit comparison model. This model stipulates that the never divorced families are normal one's stepfamilies are deviant. In the past years, the overview of blended families has become more sophisticated. Children in stepfamilies are believed to have lower welling scores compared to traditional families. However, a recent metaanalysis by Kumar (2017) established that the wellbeing scores of children in stepfamilies are normal. Stepfamily perception has immensely grown with clearer differences in family wellbeing. Co-parenting roles among ex-pauses and current spouses It is vital that individuals understand that stepfamilies place many subsystems in a competitive setting to attain secure connections. When biological parents turn to their children, step-parents are left out. On the other hand, when step-parents offer full attention to their partners, children feel excluded. With the whole family presents together, the parent-child subsystem dominates, affecting the stepchild and step-parent relationship. Thus, stepfamilies require ample time to balance and formulate a new family

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culture. However, they have to meet their competing connection needs by developing a regular and reliable alone time for each subsystem. That is biological parent and children, adult step couple and step-parent and stepfamilies. One of the identified solutions for this problem is family therapy. This should be done after attachment needs have been met in each subsystem. Blended families are closely connected to other households because of the existing relationships among the children and their parents in different families. When parents partner in the newly blended families, the former spouses have to continue seeing the children, which has proven to be challenging dealing with each other. Children will need arranged parental visits, financial support, among other aspects (Mathis, 2017). In the study by Winkler (2017) effects of co-parenting with a former spouse has mainly strained relationship with the adult step couple. It is a source of stress to many step couples. Conflict over child contact and financial issues was associated with high levels of stress and added a great deal to the pressure that couples face with transitioning. Practical Instances Role of each individual in blended families. For successful blended families, each individual has to understand their roles. Discuss each role each step-parent and children will play in fostering a peaceful family setting. This includes changes in family routines.

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Building of relationships in blended families. Trying to build a blended family that is a replica of the previous one or based on nuclear ideologies often sets blended families into frustration, disappointments, and confusion. Instead, the family should embrace the differences and consider the basic elements that make a successful family. Family members should act civil towards each other regularly than purposely trying to hurt each other. For happy and successful relationships, respect is important. This is not just based on children's behaviors but on adults as well. Respect should not be given based on age but because all the members are a family now. And lastly, allow room for growth and compassion for everyone's development. There is an increased likelihood that members of a blended family may be at different stages in life. Evolving approaches to unite the blended families: From the increased separation amongst blended families, there has been extensive research on how blended families can be united. Blended families must be involved in family therapies once they have attained successful relationships in subsystems formed (Winkler, 2017). Role of biological parents in promoting respectful and meaningful relationships among blended families. Biological parent is like a bride for both the children and step-parent in blended families. Early during the marriage, the most successful step-parent and stepchild relationships are those where biological parents strive to develop warm and friendly interaction with all parties. Birth parents must pass power to the step-parents shortly after

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the marriage so that children understand that step-parents are not acting on their own authority but on their parent's authority. Role of Religion What role does faith play in blended families? There is a lot of controversies when it comes to the state of blended families and religion. In most cases, beliefs are against divorce, and most remarriages arise from divorced families. When new couples remarry, they are usually filled with great expectations regarding the new family they are forming. Recently there have been many writings regarding the role of faith in blended families. According to Livingstone (2017), God's answer and help are available for blended families, although it will require renewed commitment. The couple needs renewed energy to tackle all problems resulting from society, and responding to God's ways will yield greater outcomes than anticipated. Biblical principles regarding blended families: According to Kumar (2017), blended families face challenges of different religious perspectives, especially those with partners having other spiritual practices and norms. Failure to understand such special needs and God's plan for meeting such needs invites many problems. Based on information from Step Family Foundation, two out of three blended relationships face religious challenges. In order to tackle these issues, partners must establish biblical priorities based on King Solomon’s teaching. The family’s highest priority must be God's teaching and relationship with Him. Another religious aspect that should be incorporated in blended families is patience, humility, and compassion. The increased changes in the family setting need these virtues to bring forth

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harmony and understanding. And lastly is the ability to accept each other's history. Coming together from different backgrounds entails sharing a lot of concerns regarding your partner's past. Usually, there is fear that some issues might occur, like the past marriage, which might inhibit valuable companionships that are required for successful marriages. Future Research Most research discussed shows that blended families deteriorate quickly and are less likely to be successful. For instance, the issues of co-parenting with previous spouses bring forth a lot of stress to the blended couple and children. There are approaches that work better in a blended family and the best co-parenting approaches amongst the stepparents and biological parents of the children involved. Future researchers should look at this approach and offer an extensive overview of the success rates of each aspect. Furthermore, research needs to be done on the role of step-parents and how their roles affect the overall wellbeing of the blended family members. Conclusions The state of blended families in today's society is becoming more common, with effective parenting approaches being formulated that is a success. However, it is vital that some of the stressors that limit the success of blended families be effectively addressed. Step-parents seem to be less involved with the stepchildren as compared to their biological parents. Moreover, the role of a step-parent appears to be less clear than that of biological parents. Moreover, there is increasing evidence that stepchildren overall wellbeing scores are somewhat poor, more so on most adjustment dimensions. Even

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though there is a small magnitude of these differences with children from nuclear families, there are other factors that limit the child's overall wellbeing. Furthermore, there is increased evidence that the adjustment process of blended families is primarily based on past relationships, which highly contributes to the increasing rates of failures. Clinical outcomes show that there is an increased need for family therapy to lower these outcomes.

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Ganong, L., & Coleman, M. (2018). Studying stepfamilies: Four eras of family scholarship. Family Process, 57(1), 7-24. Gold, J. M. (2016). Understanding the experiences of husbands in step-couples: Implications for strengthening stepfamily marriages. The Family Journal, 24(4), 415-419. Gold, J. M. (2017). Assessment of stepfamily marriages: Implications for family counselors. The Family Journal, 25(4), 322-326. Gul, A., & Nadeemullah, M. (2017). Psycho-Social Consequences Of Broken Homes On Children: A Study Of Divorced, Separated, Deserted And Blended Families. Pakistan Journal of Applied Social Sciences, 6. Kumar, K. (2017). The blended family life cycle. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 58(2), 110125. Livingston, J. (2019). Competitive youth athletes: how do their families prioritize faith development while participating in sports?. International Journal of Children's Spirituality, 24(3), 276-289. Mathis, A. B. (2017). The Narrative of the Blended Family: A Pilot Study Analyzing College Students Attitudes Regarding ...