Book Report “Real Sex- The Naked Truth about Chastity,” PDF

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Book report on the book "Real Sex- The Naked Truth about Chastity"...

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Winner, in her book “Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity,” discusses the importance for Christians of living chastely. Chastity is defined as the “freedom from unlawful sexual intercourse” by dictionary.com. Winner tells the story of sex, where it lies in our society today and within the church, and emphasizes the need for the church to encourage the practice of chastity, an emotional as well as spiritual discipline. After discussing the scriptural basis of sex, Winner makes the point that sex is communal, therefore we should be talking about it. As Christians who believe in the Bible, we understand that sex is created to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage. As a community of Christians, we are to engage in the work of storytelling the narrative of God’s grace as a way to understand the morals that the Bible teaches. Sex is communal for Christians because it enables Christians to remind ourselves of who we are and understand why we live the way we live. I like how Winner states, “The Bible tells us that talking to one another about what is really going on in our lives is in fact not an intrusion at all, because what’s going on in my life is already your concern; by dint of the baptism that made me your sister, my joys are your joys and my crises are your crises.” Although Christians tend to agree that sex should be for within marriage only, many Christians engage in sexual manners outside of marriage and usually don’t let the talk leave closed doors. Shame often keeps people from talking about it, even though many people are engaging in this sin. Winner encourages the Church to better support and talk about sex and chastity. When no one is talking, it makes it really easy for people to continue in sinful ways. Chastity is not only an emotional discipline, but also a spiritual discipline. Abstaining from sexual relations until marriage is not just a rule to follow for the heck of it, but it is there to train our fragile minds to orient ourselves towards God. In communion with prayer and study of

the Bible, one can practice chastity, or other disciplines such as fasting, in a transformative way that shapes the reflection of the glory of God. I find the idea of chastity as a spiritual discipline very insightful. As fasting helps us to remember that we are sustained by God alone, chastity helps us to remember that our bodies and desires are for God. Winner states, “The unmarried Christian who practices chastity refrains from sex in order to remember that God desires your person, your body, more than any man or woman ever will.” The discipline of chastity trains us to treat and understand our bodies as we theologically claim, as temples of Christ. I like how Winner discusses that although in current Christian culture marriage is often implied to be the end goal of a good life, singleness does have it place in the Church. She brought up the verse in Matthew 22 where Jesus states that there will be no marriage at the resurrection. Personally, I have been socialized to understand that marriage basically is the goal of life, the point at which everything will be “right.” It seems so silly to have this as a cultural ideal when in reality marriage only has a place on this fleeting earth. Although marriage is such a beautiful thing and can reflect God’s love for us in profound way, it is only a glimpse of the relation that God desires for us to have with Godself. Winner discusses the advantage that single people have to show the most intimate relationship with the Creator, and the importance of intertwining people from all stages of life in the Church so that we can best understand God and God’s love for us all. As a twenty-one year old single Christian, I think this book discusses a lot of things that should be discussed more. It is hard to live chastely in a world that constantly tells us not to, especially when I often do not find support even within the Church. I understand the letter that M wrote, asking why he should refrain from sex if he has already made the mistake before and if

God will continue to forgive him. I often wonder the same thing. I benefitted from hearing chastity discussed as a discipline. I am starting to understand the benefit of chastity aside from just making me more “pure.” I eat a plant based diet because I believe that it is healthier for my body and also the earth. Sometimes it is hard, but is has gotten easier every month that goes by. It has actually trained me to enjoy the plants and the benefits that they give me instead of unhealthier options. Sure, sometimes I eat an egg or have real milk in my coffee instead of almond milk, but I feel confident that my body is healthier and I am doing my part to reduce carbon emissions on the basis of food. Chastity, similar to plant based eating, will get easier the longer it is practiced. Not only will it get easier, but become more appealing as I reap the benefits of understanding my body more and more as God intends for me to, as living worship. And yes, I most likely will continue to make slip ups, but my progression will still be uphill, transforming my heart and mind more into that of God’s so that I may better reflect the will of God on earth. I find discussion vital to anything important in life. If we theoretically believe chastity as important to the Christian walk, yet we do not talk about it in community or in the Church, there is dissonance. If we believe it to be important, we should talk about it. I can firsthand attest to not wanting to talk about chastity, but only when I have been conscious that I was not living in a chaste way and felt shameful of my lifestyle. I agree with Winner and encourage the church to take more action in opening discussion about chastity. Not only does it remind us of the way we are called to live, but it helps us to see the benefit of this way of life. It brings accountability that goes out the door when mouths are closed. The Christian life is to reflect and retell the story of God. Practicing chastity not only helps us to better retell this story to the world, but it helps us to retell the story to ourselves. It trains us to view ourselves in right relationship to God. We are created to glorify God, not to be

pleasure-seeking machines. Chaste living helps us to find true connection to God, our most intimate and caring relationship, instead of displacing this desire onto another human. Although sometimes Winner seemed to drag on a little long about certain points, I found the majority of the chapters insightful to my understanding of what it means and how to live chastely....