Chapter 5 Listening PDF

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Ryan Watson...

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Chapter 5: Listening Listening ● A process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken/or nonverbal messages ○ Number of steps ■ Receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding Listening vs Hearing: ● Not the same thing ○ Hearing is a physiological process ■ Hear the fan around you and the clicking of a laptop ○ Listening is consciously processing what we are hearing ■ Slight hum by a radiator and if you listen carefully you can hear that but it’s usually irrelevant and you don’t pay attention to it but if something was to go wrong with it, you would notice and listen carefully and you are actually listening because we’re processing it and trying to make sense of it Listening Matters But Listening is Difficult ● We spend more time than listening than doing any other activity in the world ● Listening is difficult and is psychologically intensive ○ Being good at listening and having good listening skills are highly correlated with having strong personal successful with relationships and interactions as well in your professional success ■ It’s difficult for bad listeners to admit that they are bad at listening ● The better the listener, the better the communicator Components of Listening ● Hearing: Physiological process ○ The physiological process ● Understanding: Making sense of it ○ Understanding the sounds we are hearing ■ Once we understand the sounds we can start to process it ● This is where it transitions from sounds to processing ● Remembering: So we can bring it back into the conversation ○ Important to actually have something from the massage to lock into our heads ■ “How’d the party go last night” and you respond with the most relevant details from a conversation and the other stuff slips your mind ■ Remembering your boyfriends favorite show ■ Watching a whole movie and then realizing you weren’t even paying attention ● You really just weren't listening

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Interpreting: What was it that they were trying to say? ○ As we interpret a given message this is the process of actually making sense of it ■ What did that mean, what did the person mean when they said that? ● Might have to interpret why they said the things they did Evaluating: How do I feel about that? ○ What are they getting at? What do they want from me? ■ I know what they’re saying, they’re saying that they don’t think I deserve the promotion (interpreting) you're also evaluating that this message sucks Responding: What am i going to say back? ○ Sometimes we respond instantly and the way we respond instantly isn't truly how we feel

Barriers to Listening ● Physical/Physiological ○ Physical: attending a class and right outside is a landscaping crew making a lot of noise and is distracting you ○ Physiological: things with our bodies ■ Dealing with a person who is hard of hearing (ex. grandparents) ■ Having a really bad toothache and it distracting ■ If you’re tired as well ● Psychological ○ You might be bored, might have problems with emotions ■ If you are upset on any given day (going through a breakup) it becomes an emotional trial and it is hard to get through those and just pay attention because things keep creeping into your head ■ You’re preoccupied with the thought of going to the Red Sox game tonight ● Conflicting Objectives ○ If you're in a class and you're paying close attention and you think “hmm, I wonder if this is going to be on the exam” ○ You professor says that “this is important but will not be on the exam” and there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to listen and a part of you that thinks it might actually still be interesting to listen ● Poor listening habits ○ Some people are just bad at listening 9people that interrupt or doesn’t make eye contact) Improving Listening Skill ● Engage your brain in the process ● Pay attention ○ Active process, constantly maintain attention ■ The more you attempt it the better you are going to be at it, muscle memory

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Listen for main points/ideas ○ Think about what the speaker is saying and what you should take notes on Use your spare time ○ Think about how listening to people and making sense of what they are saying can actually improve your social interactions ■ Sudo-listening: We’re listening but not really ● Keeps saying “uh-huh, yep” Aerobic-listening (4 Steps: CARE) ○ Concentrate ■ Pay attention ○ Acknowledge ■ If you can send some signal back/feedback to the other person talking so you know that they know you’re processing what you’re saying ○ Respect ■ If you're respectful when you're listening you tend to yield better interactions ○ Empervise ■ Share emotions with the person speaking, find where the person is emotionally ● Human relationships are often based off emotions...