Family Interactions Discussion 2A PDF

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1a. Define the 4 types of families: consensual, pluralistic, protective, and laissez-faire (make sure to cite the research). A consensual family emphasizes open communication amongst its members, but also believes it is important to maintain hierarchy putting parents above children (Schmitz, 2012). There is a desire for both openness and control, which can naturally lead to a lot of tension (Schmitz, 2012). Children of consensual families are encouraged to speak up however, they are still expected to agree with and follow through with their parent’s wishes ultimately leading to a lot of stress for children to fulfil their parent’s expectations (Lopez, 2013). The pluralistic family values open conversation and open discussion without restrictions is encouraged for all family members (Schmitz, 2012). Parents of a pluralistic family avoid trying to control their children or one another’s behaviors and rather value the life-lessons that are learned outside of the family (Schmitz, 2012). There is very limited pressure put on the children of pluralistic families (Lopez, 2013). A protective family has very high expectations for their children (Lopez, 2013). There is very little conversation that occurs in this family type and they stress compliance and the obedience of children (Schmitz, 2012). Parents make the ultimate decision in this family type and may or may not share their reasoning with their child (Schmitz, 2012). A laissez-faire family is generally relaxed, and parents allow children to make many decisions for themselves (Lopez, 2013). Parents encourage children to make their own decisions in order to promote personal exploration and growth (Schmitz, 2012). Communication in minimal and does not discuss many topics and interactions are typically short and infrequent (Schmitz, 2012). 1b. Give an example of each family type - they can be examples from TV or movie families that exemplify each family type. The Kardashians are an example of a consensual family. This family highly values open conversations, no topic is off limits. However, their mother Kris is extremely involved in all of their lives and still has the ultimate say in many important choices over her children’s lives. It is obvious she desires openness among her children, but she also clearly has a control issue. I believe that all three families from Modern Family operate as a pluralistic family. They are very open with one another and encourage open communication. All the parents push for their children to make their own decisions with limited guidance. Each parent wants their child to succeed in life but there is very limited pressure and they ultimately value their children’s happiness the most.

The Lopez family from the George Lopez TV show is an example of a protective family. He has very high expectations for his children and expect them to be obedient and respectful of his rules and decisions. He often makes decisions without providing an explanation for them and uses the phrase “because I said so” often. Leslie Knope’s mom from the TV show Parks and Recreation is the perfect example of a laissez-faire family. She shows very little interest in her daughter’s life and life choices. She believes that if Leslie fails and she allows her to make decisions for herself she is better off and will learn valuable lessons from her mistakes. Leslie does not interact with her mom often and when she does the conversations are typically short and forced. 1c. Which family type do you think your family falls into? I believe my family can be categorized as a pluralistic family. Our family was mostly encouraged to have open and honest conversations with one another. Myself and my siblings were often allowed to make our own decisions with limited parental involvement, as long as it was safe. My parents believed we could learn a lot from the real world and making mistakes so the encouraged us to be independent beings. We were expected to get decent grades, be good people, and follow the rules but there was never pressure to pursue a certain career or go to college. Our parents ultimately wanted us to simply be happy and respectful contributing citizens. 2b. Describe in some detail one special ritual you have in your family. One special ritual that I have in my family is having dinner together at the table almost every night and everyone shares the best part of their day. We do not have the TV on, and phones are not allowed at the dinner table. We also make it a point to always eat at the dinner table and never in front of the TV in the living room. Back when we use to have landlines, there was a rule that we would not answer the phone during dinner. We went around the table during dinner and each talked about our day and we would always share the best part of our day with the whole family. 2c. How does this ritual strengthen your family? This ritual strengthened my family when I was younger because it allowed for at least 45 minutes of uninterrupted family time where we could all communicate and catch-up with one another. I am one of four children so there was not always a lot of time where we were all in the same place at the same time during the day, especially as we grew older. This ritual gave us a time and place to connect with one another, reflect on our days together, and share something positive. I am so grateful that my parents created this ritual because I have continued to do the same thing now with my boyfriend and we plan on doing the same with our own children one day.

2d. Describe and discuss 4 Relational Currencies your family uses during your ritual. My family uses Positive Verbal Statements during our ritual. It is typical for us to share new or exciting news during dinner time and my family members usually respond with positive and encouraging praises. For example, when I was younger sometimes the best part of my day was that I got a good grade on a test and my parents would always say something like “Great job sweetie! We are so proud of you.” Now, when my boyfriend and I share good news at the dinner table the response we give to each other is very similar like “I am so happy for you!” or “I knew you could do it!” Self-Disclosure is another relational currency my family uses during our ritual. We all voluntarily share personal information with one another during dinner. This did not happen all the time, but my siblings and I saw this time as a good opportunity to share any personal information with the whole family such as a new relationship, or friendship drama. My boyfriend and I also find ourselves frequently sharing personal things during dinner. It is usually hardships or challenges we are currently going through. Listening was another relational currency that was used during our family ritual. We showed one another we were effectively and actively listening to one another by asking questions and making comments. I think this ritual is what allowed me to really develop my listening skills and made me into the great-listener I am today. I must admit, when someone was not actively listening while I was sharing something important to me it really hurt my feelings and felt like they did not care. My family ritual was largely based off of the relationship currency of food. My mom loves to show her love for us through food and this was made apparent every night at dinner. She would put a lot of time and effort into our meals to show that she cared about us and wanted us to have something nutritional and delicious to come together for. I feel the same way now when I cook for my family. I truly believe you can put your love into the food you make. 3. Take a position on the following statement: "If you have to work at a relationship, there is something wrong with the relationship." Give your reasons for your position. I completely disagree with this statement. All healthy relationships have issues. No relationship is perfect and if they were, they would be so incredibly boring. People are going to grow and change within a relationship therefore, naturally tension is going to arise and there will be issues that individuals will have to work through. No matter how similar two people are to one another there will always be differences that they will have to work at.

4a/b. Pick a relationship important to you and determine what stage of relational interaction you are currently in with that person. What communicative signals support your determination? I believe my relationship with my boyfriend is in the integrating stage but also very close to the bonding stage. We have been together for seven years, we have lived together for four years, we have a dog together and we present ourselves as one unit. We still have our own separate time and separate hobbies, but we see ourselves as team rather than two individual players. Given that we have been together for long we are on our way to being engaged within the next couple of years so are very close to the entering bonding stage. 4c. What other stages from the ten listed have you experienced with this person? We have also experienced initiating and experimenting while getting to know each other better the first few months. We did not know each other before we met so we initially initiated by introducing ourselves to one another. As time went on, we got to know each other better and know more than surface level information about one another which brought us into the experimenting stage. It did not take long for us to both express our romantic interest in each other which eventually allowed us to enter the intensifying stage. We began calling each other nicknames and began using words of endearment with one another and created inside jokes.

Lopez, M. (2013, December 7). Family communication patterns model. Retrieved February, 2021, from https://prezi.com/f5gvdvl8n9gm/family-communication-patterns-model/ Schmitz, A. (2012, December 29). Communication and families. Retrieved February, 2021, from https://2012books.lardbucket.org/books/a-primer-on-communication-studies/s07-03communication-and-families.html...