HDFS065 Chapter 9 - Dana Riger PDF

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Dana Riger...

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Chapter 9: Adult Sexual Relationships Wednesday, October 24, 2018 3:34 PM

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DATING & COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS o o o o o

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ONLINE DATING o o

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Permissive attitudes Group hangout Sex ratios on campus: when higher female, more negative appraisals of men, fewer dates, less likely to have partner (Uecker, & Regnerus, 2010) LDR: 25-50% college students currently in a LDR, 75% have engaged in LDR Couples often have more constant and deeper communication, often equal or exceed relationship satisfaction and trust in non-LDR Upsides: effort, time, efficiency, increased market Downsides: heavy emphasis on profile browsing, transparency, ineffective algorithms, assessment mindset, deception (Finkel et al, 2012)

INTERRACIAL & INTERCULTURAL DATING o    o o

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SEXUALITY & DATING o o o o o o

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Expectations for sexual activity Generally, couples who wait have better outcomes Sexuality key element shaping quality of relationship Sex as microcosm Less than 10% of hookups progress to serious relationships Good health correlated with sexual activity

BREAKING UP o o

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Increase in minority population, biracial, and multiracial identities 1967 anti-miscegenation laws 1968: 73% disapproval 2007: 17% disapproval Gay men and women twice as likely to be in mixed relationship Differences in religion, class, age, etc.

Relationships formed before 25 significantly more likely to break up than transition to more committed relationship Factors influencing reactions:  Attachment style, self-esteem, initiation of breakup, social support, contact with ex Those broken up with often feel rejection and more depression and a loss of self esteem Those that initiated breakup feel less distress but more at risk for guilt

NON-COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS o

On average, men more sexually satisfied than women during (hetero) non-committed sex

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Women can also find NCS easier, more time to focus on goals, increase self-growth, sexual freedom, empowerment without constraints or peer approval Double standard in expectations for sexual enjoyment  “Male in the head” phenomena  Gay men most satisfied with NCS, lesbian women least

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Romantic ambiguity Romantic exploitation

COHABITATION o o    o o o o    o    o

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MARRIAGE o o o  o o o  o   

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1990 Census includes “unmarried partners” Reasons for cohabitation Spend more time together (60%) “Test” the relationship (14%) Financial reasons (19%) Direct relationship to employment since 2000s “Shotgun cohabitation” Meaning of cohabitation for same-sex couples Advantages: earn about habits and idiosyncrasies Shared finances Relationship maturity Disadvantages: Lack of familial support Lack of social recognition Imbalance in perceptions Relationship inertia vs intent to marry 1960s: 80% of 24-34 year olds married Economy, education and labor force, cohabitation 2014 – 50% of adults married First time in recorded history unmarried women outnumber married women Median age increasing (1970: 21/23 to 2016: 27/29) Education & marriage (flip post 1990) Ethnic variance in marriage, 2012: 29% Blacks, 58% Asians, 43% Hispanics. 52% Whites Mixed Marriages: 1961 – Less than 1 in 1000 1980 – 1 in 150 2013 – 1 in 8

SAME-SEX MARRIAGE o o o o o

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Civil union (Vermont first state to introduce civil unions and gay marriage) Domestic partnership Estimated 1 million same-sex couples in US, 40% married Same-sex couples more likely to share household responsibilities, less emphasis on attractiveness, increased intimacy, and better communication than other-sex couples Same-sex couples have higher levels of relationship satisfaction, share more affection, humor, joy; less conflict, less fear and negative feelings about relationship than other-sex couples 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), prohibited recognition of civil unions, domestic partnerships and same-sex marriage Legal benefits of marriage:  Social security

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MARRIAGE IN LATER LIFE o o o o o

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Quality of friendship, ability to resolve conflict, sharing household responsibilities most important Ability to talk to each other, self disclose, physical and emotional intimacy, personality similarities Social exchange theory Disparities in health benefits by gender Benefits of marriage vary by age of marriage

SEXUALITY WITHIN MARRIAGE o o

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Positive impact on health; happier and lower rates of disease Most married older adults report their marriages are happiest in later years Older men almost twice as likely to remarry Women outnumber men in old age Older men often marry younger women

MARITAL SATISFACTION o

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Some research shows married couples have highest sexual satisfaction Married couples have sex weekly or a few times a month, younger couples engage more frequently  40% two or more a week  50% a few times a month Declining sexual frequency common over time  Children, jobs, commuting, housework, finances, not necessarily boredom or lack of desire Most asexual married couples are in stable and satisfying relationships

Sex outside of marriage o o o o o o

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Federal tax breaks Immigration rights Hospital visitation rights Inheritance

1/2 of US states have laws forbidding extramarital sex; rarely enforced Extramarital sex/affairs -20-40% of married couples (2x more likely ot divorce) 90% of affairs due to unmet emotional needs Online infidelity - boundaries not clear Nonexclusive marriages - swingers, co- marital sex, "safe sex circles," polyamorists Majority of swingers are white, middle class, middle aged, churchgoers

Divorce o

Divorce rates Divorce laws, economic conditions Reasons for divorce  Lack of communication or commitment, infidelity, financial probs, substance abuse, and conflict/arguing Unhappy/unstable marriages may not end in divorce  Children, initiative, religion, finance Gottman's four horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling Risk factors of divorce: 

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Polygamy o o o

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Marry before/after optimal age Child before marriage or immediately after marriage Previously divorced or parents divorced Poor communication skills and emotional immaturity Persistent financial hardships Demand/withdrawal patterns of communication before divorce Temporary marriage and marital contracts Polygamy: practice of having more than one spouse Polygyny: one man multiple wives Consanguineous marriages (same blood -- relatives)

Polyandry o o o o o

Polyandry: One woman, multiple husbands Fraternal polyandry: traditionally practiced in Nepal, parts of China in northern India Most common in egalitarian societies marked by high male mortality or male absenteeism More likely in societies with scarce environmental resources  Believed to limit human population growth and enhance child survival Presence of polyandry in other cultures:  Nymba in Nigeria, Polynesian societies, Mosuo in China, Maasai in Kenya and Tanzania, American indigenous communities, Zo'e tribe in Brazil, Celtic societies...