How to Text a Girl A Girls Chase Guide (Girls Chase Guides) ( PDFDrive.com ) PDF

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GirlsChaseGuides  

HowtoTextaGirl     byChaseAmante

 ©2016byChaseAmante  Allrightsreserved.ExceptaspermittedundertheU.S.CopyrightActof1976,nopartofthispublication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrievalsystem,withoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofthepublisher.  GirlsChaseBooks www.girlschase.com  FirstGirlsChaseinternationalmassmarketpaperbackedition,February2017  TheGirlsChasenameandlogoaretrademarksofGirlsChase,Inc.  Thepublisherisnotresponsibleforwebsites(ortheircontent)thatarenotownedbythepublisher.  LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData  Amante,Chase. HowtoTextaGirl/ChaseAmante. ISBN:978-0-9833904-2-8

Contents  Introduction TheFourKindsofTexters GroundRulesofTexting HowtoTextaGirl OpeningUptheHood WhattoDoWhenSheWon’tTextBack WhattoDoWhenSheFlakes Calls–ForWhenTextsDon’tWork TextingWhenIt’sBeenaWhile WhentoThrowtheBallinHerCourt ExampleTextConversation WheretheLearningCurveLies Conclusion References

Introduction  Thisbookisnotaboutgettingyoumoretextsfromgirls.Ifitwasaboutthat, would’vetitleditHowtoHaveLongTextConversationswithaGirl. It’s not about that, because I don’t think that’s what you actually want. don’tthinkyouactuallywanttobeascleverasyoucanbeinyourtexting.And don’tthinkyouactuallywanttomakeherfallinlovewithyourtexts. IthinkwhatyouactuallywantistobeabletogethertosayYESwhenyou askhertomeetup.Sothat’swhatthisbookisabout. Throughout this book, I’m going to challenge some of the most cherished conventionalnotionsof“good texting.”If someof thesechallenges Itossyou waymakeyoualittleuncomfortable,that’sgood.WhatIwantyoutodowhen thathappensistotaketheempiricist’smindsetandsay“Okay,letmetryitout.” Takeitforaspinandseewhathappens. Yourintuitionmightsay“Shewouldnevergoforthat,”butsometimesyou intuition lies.Especially whenit comes todoing something new– or ina way youhaven’tdonebefore. Thefocushereisnottobuildupyouregoorfillyourheadwithplatitudes Instead,thesolegoalofthisbook–andtheonlythingIcareabout–istogethe offthephoneandonadatewithyou. Incasethisisthefirsttimewe’vemet,myname’sChaseAmante.I’mquite possibly the world’s foremost expert on dating. At the very least, I run th world’smostpopularwebsiteonthesubject(that’sGirlsChase.com,withhalfa million uniquevisitors each month), whereI’ve written 5 millionwords in the last3yearsalone.Myspecialty–myangle–isthatIteachyouhowtogetgirl to chase YOU. Sound absurd? It isn’t. In fact, throughout this book you’ll see hyperlinkspointingyoutoarticlesfoundonthesite.Checkthosearticlesoutand youreyeswillbegintoopen. Iknowyou’veseentheguyswhojustsitbackandhavegirlshoundthemto meetup.Andfortunately,it’snotjustlooksthatgetgirlstochase. Isatdownto figureoutthedatinggameandIdiscoveredthequestionthatdrovemypassion HowdoIgetgirlstochaseme?

Iapproachedthousandsofwomen.Iwentonhundreds ofdates.Iwhisked girlsofftobed,andItooksomeofthemasgirlfriends.AndIgotgood. One night, having already taught a fair few students of seduction at thi point,Ifoundmyselfwithabuddy.Hetoldmeaboutthisgirlhewastryingto gettocomemeethim.Butshejustwouldn’tcomeout. SoIaskedhimforsomedetailonthesituation:howheknewher,whatthei historywas,whathe’dtriedalready. AndthenIaskedtoseehisphone. ThenextthingIdidwaswriteasimple,tightlittletext.Ipassedthephone backtohimtoreadoverandsendifheapproved.Hedid,andhitsend. Twominuteslater,sherespondedsayingshehadtobeupat7AMthenex dayandhadtogettobed.Itwasalready11PM. Butthensheadded,“Butokay,Icancomeoutfordrinkstonight.” Thisflooredmyfriend.AndwhileI’dknownIcoulddoitformyself,itwas actuallythefirsttimeI’dsatdowntoauthoratextforsomeoneelse. See,myskillattextingkindofcreptuponme.WhenIfirststartedmeeting girls,I couldsometimes getflakey girlsto do a180 andmeet up. Eventhen, hadsomeintuition;whatIdidn’thaveyetwasamethod. Moreoftenthannot,I’dgetstuckwithgo-nowherenumbersnomatterwha Itexted. IneversetouttolearntotextthewayIhadsetouttolearnconversationo physicalescalation.Itjusthappenedorganicallyasanoutgrowthofmydesireto excelwithgirls(plusthesheervolumeofphonenumbersItorethrough). I went with my friend on the date, because I was going to help him recognizewhentotakeherhome,too.Shewasalreadyexcitedbythetimeshe metusatthebar. Oftentimes,that’stheeffectofjustonegreattext: Itenergizeshertomeetyou. Thegirlendedupagreeingtogohomewithmyfriend.Shebailedatthelas minute (literally; she stopped the cab 20 feet from his apartment and got out) But she would’ve been his had he been a little warmer and a little mor persistent.What’simportanthereis,hegotherouttomeethim–hegotachance –becauseofasingletext. Once I realized the power my texting held, I began to take on texting

students. And soon thereafter, my texting was getting guys dates, lays, and girlfriends. Agirlwho’dstoppedtextingaguy–I’dgivehimatext,andshe’dtextback immediatelyandaskhimtomeet.  Boom!  Agirlsayingshehadaboyfriendandwassorryshecouldn’tmeet–I’dtel the guy what to text her, and she’d schedule a date the next day. They’d hav sex,andtheboyfriend(ifheevenexisted)wouldn’tevencomeup.  Bam!  Aguywithabootycallwhowantedsomethingmoreserious–I’dgivehim a few words, and she’d be over at his place that night, doing some decidedl non-seriousthingstohim.  Kapow!  And I of course incorporated these techniques myself, even on girls who weren’t that sold on me at first. A confident, brief, and snappy texter is rar enoughthatgirlswillmeetyouoncuriosityalone.Andifthey’recuriousenough tomeetyou,they’recuriousenoughtodateandsleepwithyou. Throughout these texting adventures, my students and I discussed and documented what worked, what didn’t, the hows and whys as we perceived them,andthetricksandtraps.Whatfollowsinthisbookisasetofinstruction onhowtoachievethesameresultswithtextingthatmystudentsandIhave.I adapts some popular articles I’ve written for GirlsChase.com over the years. I alsoincludessomenewcontentneverbeforepublishedelsewhere. Onceyougettextingdown,gettingqualitydatesbecomesalmosttooeasy Beingabletoquicklyturnhercontactinfointoameet-upisagamechanger.I givesyousomanymoreopportunitiestosucceedwithwomen. If you’re ready to use the text message to achieve incredible results with girls,you’lllovethisbook.

TheFourKindsofTexters  “The medium is the message.” So said Marshall McLuhan in Understanding Media:The Extensionsof Man (McLuhan,1994). McLuhan argued,just as the digitalagewasdawning,thatnotonlydoweadaptourcommunicationstyleto the channels we use... but that any channel we choose to use itself tells th personwe’retalkingtowhatkindofmessageitis. Textingworksbestifyouthinkofitasaquick,efficientwaytopinggirls makesimpleconnections,andarrangethelogisticsfordates.Youcanuseitfo updates(“Therein5minutes”)ortoaskquestions(“Grabatableyet?”). Yet,ifyoutryusingitlikeatextversionofhowyou’dtalktoherinperson oronaphoneorvideocall,you’llfacealotofunnecessaryhurdles. Tobeginourbook,Iwanttointroduceyoutofourkindsoftexters.Threeo these texters don’t fully respect the medium (texting) as a message (quick simple,andlogistical).Thefourthonedoes–andhegetsthebestresults.Much ofthisbookwillbeaboutwhy,andtherestofitwillbeabouthowtotextgirl likehedoes. Beforewegettothat kindoftexter,first Iwanttotellyou aboutthethree far more common forms of texters on the dating market. These I’ve affectionatelydubbedCluelessBoringQuestionsGuy™,EndlessConversations Guy™,andReally,IncrediblyWittyandInterestingGuy™.  

TheThreeNormalGuyTextingStyles  There are three strains of text messaging styles prevalent among the men ou theretoday:  1. CluelessBoringQuestionsGuy™ 2. EndlessConversationsGuy™ 3. Really,IncrediblyWittyandInterestingGuy™

 I’verankedthesestrainsinorderofprevalence,frommosttoleastencountered

Yeteventhoughhe’slast,theReally,IncrediblyWittyandInterestingGuy™i notallthatuncommon. Before we dive into what to do with girls to actually get results out o texting, let’s start with a look at what these three guys do, and why it doesn’ work.Trynottobemiffedifyourealizeyou’reoneoftheseguyshalfwayin.. becauseifyou are,you’reexactlythe targetdemographic ofthisbook. There’s hope. Can’tfixtheproblemunlessyouknowtheproblemexistsinthefirstplace right?

  CluelessBoringQuestionsGuy™  To women, the most diabolically annoying texter is the Clueless Boring QuestionsGuy™,hereafterabbreviatedasCBQG.CBQGhaszerocluehowto textgirls,whatgirlswouldliketoseeinatextmessage,orevenwhatgirlsare likemostofthetimeingeneral,period.AtnotimehasCBQGeversatdownand askedhimself: “IfIwasagirl,howwouldIrespondtoamessagelikethis?” Heimmediatelyassumesthatallwomenarelikehim–lonelyandwithou manyoptions.Thus,theyshouldbethrilledtogettextsfromhim,evenifthey’re alljustcluelessboringquestionslike:  “What’sup?” “How’sitgoing?” “Howwasyourweekend?” “Whatareyoudoing?” “Doyouhaveplans?”

 CBQG assumes that girls must love getting texts like this from him. After all he’dlovegettingtextslikethisfromgirls.Soofcourseitmustgobothways. CBQGoftenbecomesfrustratedwhengirlsdon’tanswerhisquestions.He wonders why he doesn’t get replies. He thinks girls are difficult to understand andmakethingsneedlesslycomplicated. Heneverstopstorealizesheisn’tthereinpersonanddoesn’tgetthesame

level of context and expressiveness from him she would if he was ther (Critchley,Rotshtein,Nagai,O’Doherty,Mathias,&Dolan,2005). AtnopointdoesCBQGsitdownandthinktohimself:“Lameguysinundate mostgirlsalldaywithlamerequests.Mostguystext,write,andsaytogirlsthe samelamethingsall thetime.Oh no!IfI sendgirlslame texts,they’llassume I’mlame,too!” This never occurs to him, because CBQG knows himself so well that h knowsthathe’snotlame.Heassumesthateveryoneelsemustknowthis,too.. evenifhebehavesthesamewaythatothermen,whoactuallyarelame,do. “She’ll know I’m not lame, even if I seem totally lame,” CBQG thinks “Otherwise,she’stotallyshallowandnotworthmytime!” CBQG believes that it’s women’s responsibility to recognize his inne awesomeness.Girls must fightthrough the lameness heexhibits on the outside todiscoverhisawesomenessinside. CBQG spends many nights alone, angry, hurt, and confused by how th worldcanbesoconfusingandsocold.  

EndlessConversationsGuy™  EndlessConversationsGuy™, hereafterECG,is usuallya CBQGwho cleaned uphisact.Oneday helookedathis phone,whichwasdevoidof repliestothe textshe’dsentout,andsaidtohimself: “IfIwasagirl,howwouldIrespondtoamessagelikethis?” ...andinaflashofsuddeninsight,herealizedhe’dbeendoingitallwrong. ECG is, you might say, on a more enlightened plane than CBQG. He’ realizedtheneedtoengageagirlindialogue.Andhe’srealizedgirlsdon’twan toanswercluelessboringquestions. Unfortunately, ECG still doesn’t get much further beyond “engage her in dialogue” – and there he’s usually stuck. ECG’s conversations tend to look somethinglikethis:  ECG:Hey Shirley,how’dyour weekendgo? Isaw somefriends Saturday,butyesterday wasalljustrelaxing. 

Girl: Hey, it was all right. My friend from out of town came to visit, so we went to a coupleofrestaurantsandsawsomesights...thatwasaboutit.  ECG:Cool,whatsightsdidyousee?  Girl:Oh,youknow,SeaWorld,theharbor,justtheusualthings.  ECG: You know, I’ve been living here for 5 years and I’ve never seen Sea World. EveryonekeepstellingmeIshouldgo.  Girl: I know, I didn’t go to Sea World until I was 19, and I grew up here. Isn’t that ridiculous?ButyouSHOULDgo,it’salotoffun.  ECG: When I used to live on the East Coast, sometimes we’d go down and visit the Baltimore Aquarium. I don’t know if Sea World’s like an aquarium at all, but that place wasamazing.Ikindofmissgoingnow.  Girl:It’snotreallyanaquarium...morelikeaplacewithseaanimalsthatdoesshows.  ECG:Yeah,theyhadsomeofthoseattheBaltimoreAquariumtoo.  Girl:Cool.  ECG:Hey,so[conversationcontinues]

 ECG treats his texting like written phone conversations. He doesn’t recogniz textingis supposed to be simpler in both language and function (Holtgraves & Paul, 2013). He doesn’t know that the more time she spends with him in tex chatsandthelesstimeshespendswithhiminperson,theworseshefeelsabou him, as researchers found studying teenage couples in 2014 (Luo, 2014). H never realizes these endless conversations are actually boring, pointless, and inane.Hedoesn’trealizemostgirlswhoengageinthesewithhimareeither(a justdoing it becausethey’re also bored, or(b) just too nice tonot send back a response. To him, it feels like he’s unlocked the key to texting girls: just keep texting. AsfarasECGknows,thisisjustanothernormalconversation...inwhichhe imaginesheisinchinghiswayeverclosertobecomingthisgirl’sbeau...every senttextbringinghimanothercouplecentimetersnearerherheart.... Youcanimaginehowfrustratedhegetswhenagirlhe’sspentsomuchtime with in endless conversations... endlessly dodges his date requests – and how perplexed he is to discover, after weeks or months of conversations, that some otherguyhasmanagedtobecomeherboyfriend.

“How can this be?” ECG thinks. “I thought we had such specia conversations!” He’s bewildered... it just doesn’t make sense. Why would she spend SO muchtimetalkingtohimandthengodatesomeoneelse?  

Really,IncrediblyWittyandInterestingGuy™  LastbutnotleastisReally,IncrediblyWittyandInterestingGuy™,henceforth RIWIG. RIWIG is the next stage of evolution after ECG. He’s a man who’ realizedthatendlessconversationsdon’twork.They’reboring,killhisintrigue andeveryguyandhisbrotherengageinthemfruitlessly. RIWIG has more experience with girls than either CBQG or ECG. H knows women react well to humor and prefer interesting bad boys to uninterestingniceguys. “So,”goesRIWIG’slineofthinking,“whatcouldbebetterthanbeingabad boyviatextmessage?” Most texting advice you’ll see online or hear from friends comes from RIWIGs.They’vecrackedthetextingcode,they’lltellyou.They’vefiguredou how to create the emotions they want in women... desire, laughter, intrigue Being really, incredibly witty and interesting over text is the way to get girl attractedtoyou. And to be fair, RIWIG is far more interesting and captivating than eithe CBQGorECG.It’snotevenclose.RIWIGleavesthoseguysinhisdust.Justa CBQGcan’tholdacandletoECG,ECG’soddstobeatRIWIGinatextfightare about as good as a medieval pikeman’s odds against a Navy SEAL with minigunandagrenadelauncher. RIWIG’stextconversationstendtogosomethinglikethis:  RIWIG: Oh man, I just had WAY too much food. Never should’ve eaten that last drumstick.Advice:gluttonydoesn’tjustmakeyoufat,it’salsoREALLYuncomfortable.  Girl:lolwherewereyouandwhy’dyoueatsomuch?  RIWIG: Friend had a birthday party. There was far too much to eat; I felt a moral obligationtoensurethereweren’tunnecessaryleftovers. 

Girl:Didyousaveanyforme?  RIWIG:Thoughtaboutit;decidedagainstit.YoushouldbegratefulIpreventedyoufrom enduringasimilarfatetomine.  Girl:ButIwantsometoo!  RIWIG: You know what, miss... you are coming on WAY too strong right now. Most womenarealotmore...CIRCUMSPECT...whentheysaythingslikethattome.  Girl:I’mtalkingaboutthefood,DUH!  RIWIG:That’swhattheyalwayssay...  Girl:Youaresuchadork.  RIWIG:Hey,so[conversationcontinues]

 Iwasthisguyforalongtime.Andit’sobviouslyabigstepupfromECG.Bu evenwithhisreally,incrediblywittyandinterestingtextbanter,RIWIGhasthe followingproblems:(a)womenwillstilloftenbedodgyaboutsettingupdates and(b) when thedates ARE set up,the girl oftentreats RIWIG asa boyfriend candidate(i.e.,sheputsupobstaclestosex). “Whatgives?”RIWIGthinks.“Iwasinteresting,witty,sexy...everythinga womanlooksforinalover,NOTaboyfriend!Andshe’sSTILLtreatingmelike apotentialboyfriend!ClearlyIneedtobeevenMOREwittyandinteresting.” Butbeingwittierandmoreinterestingisn’ttheanswer.Infact,theansweri somethingmuchsimplerthanCBQG,ECG,orRIWIGthinkitcouldeverbe.  

TheFourthKindofTexter  There’s good news for our heroes Clueless Boring Questions Guy™, Endles ConversationsGuy™,andReally,IncrediblyWittyand InterestingGuy™.The goodnews isthere’safourth texterwith astyle theyhaven’ttriedout,though up,orlookedintoyet. And he doesn’tneed clueless boring questions. He doesn’t require endles conversations.Heck,hedoesn’tevenneedtobeallthatwittyorinteresting.Al you’vegot to do touse his style isbe able to sendsimple text messages... and tellthegirlyouwantadatewithherBEFOREyougetherphonenumber.

If we had to give this kind of texter a name, I think it’d be Just Gets I Guy™(JGIG).Hisstyleisallaboutkeepingthingssimpleandto-the-point.The truthis,less“natural”media(likeemailandtextmessaging)arelesssatisfying forpeopletodealwith(Kock,2004).Youwanttospendaslittletimewithherin lessnaturalmediaaspossible–andasmuchtimeaspossiblewithherinperson. I adopted the JGIG style only after I reached a point where I didn’t hav time to engage in long text conversations. I didn’t have time to think up incredibly witty, interesting things to say. And at that point, even when I did havethetime,Ididn’tcaretodoallthatworkanymore. WhatIfoundwas,thisnewstylewasfarmoreeffective. I started to teach friends how to text girls with this simplistic model o texting.Allofasudden,theywereliningupasmanydatesastheycouldhandle I’vesincetaughtthismethodtothousandsofstudentsatGirlsChase. Butalotof...