Mb109 Chapter 5 - In depth notes with examples from class PDF

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In depth notes with examples from class...

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Chapter 5 - Listening (With your eyes and ears) ● Consequences: it can impact all these and more ○ relationships ○ Assignments ○ Job/ what has to be done ● Ability to listen is a key skill for people as well as for leadership Learning outcomes •Describe why listening is considered an active activity. •Identify a minimum of four benefits of improving our listening skills •Define listening •List, define and provide an example for the 6 main components of the HURIER model of listening •Differentiate between filters and context in the HURIER model of listening •List, define and provide a personal example for 10 different reasons why we don’t listen as well as we could. •Define between Selective, Pseudo, Defensive, Insulated and Insensitive listening •Provide personal examples of Stage-Hogging, Gap Filling and Ambushing as they apply to listening. •Describe how to use silence and note taking to improve your ability to listen. •Identify 6 different ‘good’ listening habits and how they can improve listening skills •Define and provide a concrete example of paraphrasing. •Differentiate between Closed, Open, Sincere, Counterfeit and Probing Questions and provide one example of each

The importance of listening: ● ● ● ●

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Forget 50% of what you hear...than 25% more Listening is a key skill for a leader Listening serves one of the most important information gathering functions Cost of not listening carefully ○ 60% of errors in business are due to lack of listening skills ○ 1 error per canadian @ $15 = $500 000 Rated as the most important workplace skill Has a huge impact on every aspect of our life New technology and changes in business ○ Who; how; when we listen Listening is related to empathy ○ Understand another person Listening errors significantly influence productivity Anyone who is in a position to conduct interviews ○ Doctors - 300 000 interviews

○ Teachers ● Improvement in listening skills ○ Positively correlated with increase in relational standing ● Understand and remembering is critical parts in listening process ● Helps us help others; if we listening we can be better helpers or understand situations and help The listening process: ● Requires our non verbal kinesthetics to be open to hearing ideas ○ Requires a lot of energy ○ Ex. is during a debate or after a week long of listening at lectures ● Much more than just letting in auditory information ○ Thoughtful process ● WE LISTEN with our senses...NOT just our ears ● Listening is the hardest of the easy tasks ○ Is a LEARNED communication skill ● Conflicting ideas or view point, brainstorming etc is good ○ It contributes to pool of ideas and innovation and makes everything better ○ The key is to manage that conflict and its critical to manage that conflict and to do so you have to LISTEN ○ The ability to listen well to the other person is critical to understand that person ■ Let them know you're actively listening bc it carries more meaning and weight ● Definition ○ Process of making sense of others spoken messages ○ Listening is the dynamic, transactional process of ○ Receiving, recalling, rating and responding ● 2 way street Hurier Model Of listening:

Hearing: ● Physiological reception of sound vibration patterns ● Negative impact of ability to receive vibrations ○ Will negatively impact ability ○ Earbuds/headphones, hair, hats, infection, damage ● Will stop listening when tired

● Eliminate as many as possible to reduce noise ● Attend to some sounds, ignore others(selection) ● Use of imagery and description helps others attend Understanding: ● Comprehension ○ Improves with practice ● Focus on MEANING not on EVALUATION ● Takes place internally and involves cognitive thought ● Increase vocabulary and semantic knowledge (knowledge is power) ○ Reason for this type of course ● Taking notes ○ Reviewing them again ○ Rmr things after ○ Less room for error ● Mindfulness or meditation/ rest time is good ○ Helps think/ understand things easier afterwards Remembering (Actually occurs after U, I, E): ● Bringing information stored in memory to consciousness ● Have to use past information to help in current situations ● Storage of original information (in memory) is crucial ○ How you store/encode information is critical in how easy it will be to remember ● People who are successful have the ability to understand, interpret, evaluate and this can help remember ● Benefits of note taking, paraphrasing, questioning ○ Solidify information in memory ○ Assist in accurate recall ● We do NOT recall word for word ○ Personalized version of the main themes with SOME detail ○ Directly influenced by what we have selected ● Need to understand people but also instructions, details etc. Question/ Thought: Taking notes? ● Help for remembering ● Easier to recall ● Detailed notes help give clear understanding, less room for error

Interpreting: ● Involves a consideration of context ○ You must make an effort to understand and interpret from not only your point of view but also from the senders (more in evaluating) ● Meaning of the message ○ Lies in the receiver….but a good listener considers the sender ● True interpretation involves verbal AND nonverbal ● Meaning of message lies in receiver, but good listener think about the sender too ○ Relates back to empathy Evaluating: ● Listening filters are the most active at this stage ○ Our biases, beliefs, values, attitudes, motivations, past experiences ○ Ex. recruiters should be aware of their biases before interviews ● Must seek to understand from the sender’s point of view ● We evaluate and assess on at least 2 levels ○ Do we agree with the message ○ What context ● When we don’t agree with someone ○ Make sure we don’t agree from their point of view ○ Guard against inference and opinion ○ Guard against being inflexible…..good listeners are flexible Responding: ● When you respond you provide feedback to a speaker ○ 2 way convo process ○ Can be verbal or nonverbal such as frowning etc. ○ Communicator judges how well we receive the msg based on how we respond ● Verbal feedback and nonverbal feedback ● Good listeners ● Poor listeners ● Strategies for improvement ○ Adopt speakers point of view ○ Personalize ○ Don’t confuse what you are thinking with what they are saying ○ Do NOT assume your thoughts are universal

Personal Listening Filters: ● Internal and external factors that impact our listening ○ Represented by individualized listening filters ● Filters impact each part of the process (HURIER) ● Affected by personal meaning applied to communicated material ○ Emotions, assumptions, age, maturity, attitudes etc. Context: ● Essential to consider when listening ● Good listeners understand that they are affected by the environment and the context in which they are communicating ● Responses need to be adapted to the context ● Communicator characteristics to consider ○ Historical context, physical setting, time of communication, technology, etc. ● What we want to take out of a communication situation makes us a better communicator Levels of listening: (low lvl to high) ● Passive listening ○ Being there but not really engaging ● Responsive ○ There but give some cues that your listening ● Selective ○ Were listening to only what we want ● Attentive ○ Still listening to what matters to us but were more engaged ● Active ○ More engaged and present ● Empathic ○ Really trying to understand from speakers point of view Why we don’t listen(as well as we should): ● Try to recall when you have faced these obstacles ● Lack of training ○ Few courses available ○ Very little actual training...but used in evaluation

● Noise ○ Anything that interferes with the message ○ Physical, semantic, psychological ● How do you get past all the noise to focus ○ Remove as many noise elements as possible ● Message overload ○ We frequently receive more messages than we can handle ● Message complexity ○ A lot of messages are filled with multiple details, unfamiliar language ○ Need to remember that language to our area might not be known to others outside of our area ● Preoccupation ○ We can become preoccupied...Conversational narcissism ■ Someone dominates the convo to whatever matters to them ● Listening gap ○ We can think faster than we can speak ○ Speak average of 150-200 wpm...We can understand up to 800 wpm ○ Difference can cause thought drift/daydreaming etc. Video: RASA Receive Appreciate Summarize Ask -Connectivity -The ability to understand others -That helps us to gain peace and understanding Poor listening Habits: ● Selective listening ○ You attend to only part of the message and ignore the rest ○ Only listen to what you want/ find interesting ● Talkaholism ○ Continually try to direct conversational flow ● Pseudo-listeners

○ We’re pretty good at pretending to listen ● Gap filling ○ Trying to guess the rest of a message and fill in content ● Defensive listening Good listening habits: ● Evaluate your current skills ○ Think about the poor listening habits you’ve seen ○ DO you do that? ○ What about your biases, beliefs that interfere with message ● Prepare to listen ○ Required physical and mental activities ● Listening is NOT easy ○ Can always improve it ● Talk less(silence) ○ One of the most valuable and undervalued aspects of listening ○ Verbal and nonverbal silence ● Eliminate (or reduce) noise ● Identify your filters ● Stay on task ● Provide empathic response ● Take notes ● Avoid premature judgement ● Practice active listening Active listening: ● Paraphrasing ○ Restating the essence in your own words ○ Indicates depth of listening, opportunity to clarify ○ Perception check ○ Ask for feedback and clarification ● Further clarification through questions ○ 4 types discussed in textbook ● Dialogue enhancers ○ Showing support for sender ○ ‘I get it’ - and nonverbal support signs...smiles, nod ● NVC, as a process, is rarely silent Paraphrasing:

● Listening for facts ○ Characteristics ○ Procedure ● Listening for feelings ○ Characteristics ○ Really important, this helps you understand what the other person is going through Ted Talk Video ● Conversation skills are not taught in school ● Ask open ended questions ● Listen ● No one experience isn’t the same ● Everyone's an expert at something different...