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Parenting in the Philippines Liane Peña Alampay Being a parent is universally considered a complex and valued role that most adults would undertake and regard as one of the most significant steps in their lives. This is certainly evident in Philippine society, where the family is “the center of [Fil...

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Parenting in the Philippines Liane Alampay

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Parenting in the Philippines Liane Peña Alampay

Being a parent is universally considered a complex and valued role that most adults would undertake and regard as one of the most significant steps in their lives. This is certainly evident in Philippine society, where the family is “the center of [Filipinos’] universe” (Jocano 1998, p.11). From a scientific standpoint, an understanding of parenting is crucial to the study of human development, given substantial research evidence that how parents raise their children is cause and correlate of various positive and negative outcomes, from school and work success to antisocial behavior and mental illness (Collins et al. 2000). However, the current state of knowledge remains dominated by Western research (Henrich et al. 2010), and more culturally diverse perspectives on parenting and families are essential to arrive at a more comprehensive knowledge of human development. This chapter presents the dominant themes that describe parenting in the Philippines. Parenting in the Philippines has been shaped by the unique history, values, experiences, adaptations, and ways of being that characterize the Filipino people and their culture. The fundamental assumption of this chapter is that parent-child interactions, and the complex roles, meanings, and consequences associated with parenting, are embedded in and shaped by broader contexts such as extended kin networks, neighborhoods, socioeconomic class, and culture. Theoretical perspectives such as Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems (Bronfenbrenner and Morris 1998) and Super and Harkness’s Developmental Niche (Super and Harkness 1986) propose that the sociocultural environment represents blueprints or prescriptions that influence and support the particular practices of parents as they interact with their children, and in turn children’s responses to and behaviors towards their parents. The cultural context likewise shapes the attitudes, beliefs, and goals that undergird parents’ behaviors; and the kinds of environments and activities that parents set for their children (Bronfenbrenner and Morris 1998; Bornstein and Cheah 2006; Super and Harkness 1986; Harkness and Super 2006). L.P. Alampay (*) Department of Psychology, Ateneo de Manila University, Quezon City, Philippines e-mail: [email protected] H. Selin (ed.), Parenting Across Cultures: Childrearing, Motherhood and Fatherhood in Non-Western Cultures, Science Across Cultures: The History of Non-Western Science 7, DOI 10.1007/978-94-007-7503-9_9, © Springer Science+Business Media Dordrecht 2014

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This chapter describes various facets of Filipino parenting in terms of cognitions (beliefs, attitudes, expectations) and behaviors towards children, the nature of parent-child interactions, and the differentiated roles of mothers and fathers, and sons and daughters. The discussion is intended to provide a broad view of parenting in the Philippines, based on data derived from local and internationally published empirical research, mostly in the disciplines of psychology and sociology. There are within-culture and individual differences in the presented themes and patterns due, in part, to such variables as level of education, socioeconomic status, or ethnicity. These are not highlighted, however, as such nuances either have not been fully explored empirically or detract from the goal of providing a coherent picture of Filipino parenting.

An Overview of the Philippines (Fig. 1) The Philippines is an archipelago of 7,107 islands located in Southeast Asia. It is considered an economically developing country with a per capita Gross National Income of USD 2,050. Twenty-three percent of the population lives below the international poverty line (USD 1.25 per day) (United Nations Children’s Fund 2012).

Fig. 1 Map of the Philippines

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The country ranks among the highest in Asia in inequalities between rich and poor individuals. Families with a highly educated head of the household experience economic growth and increased consumption, but progress has lagged significantly for the lower income class (Ney 2007). Albeit still striving to meet its millennium development goals, the Philippines fares comparatively better than other developing nations in basic health and education indices, with an under-5 mortality rate of 29 for every 1,000 live births, and an adult literacy rate of 95 % (equivalent for males and females). About 49 % of the population lives in urbanized areas (United Nations Children’s Fund 2012). More pertinent to the matter of parenting and families, the Philippine population can be considered quite young, with 37 % under the age of 18. The average size of the household is 4.6 (National Statistics Office 2010). Philippine society is an amalgam of Eastern and Western influences, a result of the nation’s location and unique sociopolitical history. Three centuries under Spanish rule, beginning in the sixteenth century; four decades of American colonization thereafter; historical struggles for decolonization, indigenization, and democracy; and interactions with and migration to Pacific Rim countries are experiences that have forged the country’s rich and complex culture. At the end of 2010, there were an estimated 9.45 million Filipinos in different countries all over the world, about five million of whom are overseas for employment purposes (Commission on Filipinos Overseas 2010). This virtual diaspora has posed many challenges for the adaptation of Filipino families abroad and left behind, despite its positive contribution to the country’s economic development.

Filipino Cultural and Family Values In a comprehensive review of parenting in Asia, the authors ascribe to Filipino culture the largely collectivist and interdependent values that have also been identified in Chinese and Japanese societies (Chao and Tseng 2002). Like our Asian neighbors, Filipinos strongly value, prioritize, and intentionally cultivate strong relational bonds, especially within the family. Because of extensive colonial experiences, however, the roots of Filipinos’ social and family values depart from the principles of Confucianism and Buddhism that are considered the foundation of familial attachments and obligations in other Asian nations (Chao and Tseng 2002; Ho 1993). Early studies of Filipino personality proposed that the central value that underscores its collectivist nature is that of “smooth interpersonal relations” (or SIP). In desiring harmony and inclusiveness in their relationships, Filipinos are thought to subjugate individual interests to conform with their in-group, engage in pakikisama (being along with or adjusting to others), and avoid conflict and confrontation (Lynch 1973). But indigenous psychologists largely rejected the concept of SIP as the core of Filipino interpersonal values, arguing against a psychology that interprets Filipino personality from a colonial lens. Instead, the concept of kapwa was proposed as pivotal in regulating social relationships (Enriquez 1994). Literally

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translated, kapwa refers to the “other” or “fellow-being”, and pakikipag-kapwa, reflects the pervasive orientation and commitment of the Filipino to the other. Rooted in a regard for this other as not different from the self, but rather as one’s coequal, a basic respect for one’s kapwa guides Filipino social behavior. In this way, the Filipino self is fundamentally interdependent with the other, even as it remains differentiated. This is expressed in the analogy of several eggs fried together, where each yolk remains distinct and yet the egg whites run together (Bulatao 1992/1998). To think and behave as if the self were separate from kapwa is to be individualistic, egotistic, and walang kapwa-tao (without fellow-feeling), a serious transgression in Filipino society (Enriquez 1994). The value of being mindful and respectful of one’s kapwa is first learned in the most important social group in Filipino society, the family. The Filipino family is strongly characterized by cohesiveness among immediate members and extended kin, respect for elders and deference to parental authority, and fulfillment of mutual obligations (Chao and Tseng 2002; Medina 2001; Wolf 1997; Peterson 1993; Licuanan 1979). Individual achievements and failings reflect on the family as a whole and can bring about familial pride or shame; children’s behavior, whether good or ill, reflects on their parents (Chao and Tseng 2002; Guthrie and Jacobs 1966). Because of this, it is imperative that one behaves with propriety and dignity with respect to the self and the family, which is a deeply held Filipino value known as hiya (Enriquez 1994). Children are typically admonished by parents to behave in ways that will uphold his or her and the parents’ hiya, as opposed to actions that are nakaka-hiya or bring about shame and loss of face. Filipino children likewise strive to meet familial obligations and expectations, whether in the form of instrumental support, such as conducting household chores or helping parents financially in their old age, or in the form of educational and occupational achievements (Garo-Santiago et al. 2009; Fuligni and Pederson 2002; Wolf 1997). In rural and lower-income contexts, especially, family members rely on an extended and intergenerational system of mutual obligations and exchanges, where cooperation, generosity, and sacrifice ensure the wellbeing of the family and its neediest members (Peterson 1993). The Filipino value of utang na loob (literally, “debt of one’s being”), in part, underlies these expectations; it is the life-long debt owed to another person not merely because of having received some favor, but it is born of deep respect and gratitude (Enriquez 1994). Children are expected to possess a sense of utang na loob towards their parents for having borne and reared them, which must be manifested in respectfulness and honoring of family obligations (Medina 2001). Otherwise, the son or daughter will be known as without hiya or without utang na loob—no honor or gratitude—signifying that one is not a good child, much less a decent person. The foregoing cultural values of kapwa, hiya, and utang na loob are among the interdependent themes that pervade the dynamics of Filipino parenting and parentchild relationships, which are characterized by respect for parental authority and obedience on the part of children, family cohesion, and meeting familial obligations. These themes are elaborated further in the succeeding sections.

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Views of Children and Conceptions of Childhood Parents’ beliefs about children is a logical place to begin in an analysis of parenting. How parents behave towards their children depends, in part, on their views of children and conceptions of childhood and childrearing. Harkness and Super called this parental ethnotheories (2006). Filipino parents consider infants and young children as not having a mind of their own, lacking in understanding, and dominated by raw emotions that demand immediate gratification (Dela Cruz et al. 2001). Key ethnographic studies of indigenous and rural Filipino communities flesh out this conception. In one of the earliest detailed studies on Filipino childrearing in a rural community of Tarong in Ilocos, Nydegger and Nydegger (1966) documented that children are believed to come into the world without sense. As such, few demands are made on the infant and young child, and indulgence, constant attention, and protection from harm are the dominant features of childrearing. Sense begins to develop around the ages of 4–6, when children are believed to possess the developmental maturity to comprehend and benefit from instruction and guidance. It is at this period when children are trained to assume responsibilities in the household and community, are expected to gain greater control of their impulses, and obey their parents, elders, and older siblings. Similar themes are described in Rosaldo’s (1980) ethnographic study of the indigenous Ilongot community in Nueva Vizcaya, northern Philippines. Beya or “knowledge of how to act and speak, of ‘where to go’ with one’s feelings and what is due to one’s kin” (p. 68) is that human element yet to develop in infants and young children. Lacking knowledge, infants and children are vulnerable to their fears, anger, and passions; they need adults to protect them and tell them what to do. Early development of beya, at around the ages of 3 or 4, is seen in children’s ability to listen to and follow elders, but, as yet, their actions are regulated by words, threats, and prodding from outside forces. Fear and respect for elders, and the potential shame and embarrassment attendant to behaving with passion but without knowledge, motivate Ilongot youngsters to obey until that time when knowledge more fully develops and is internalized in adolescence and young adulthood. In Aguilar’s (2009) more recent ethnography of a rural community in Batangas, Southern Luzon, the corresponding aspect is known as bait: the ability to think and make sense of the world, discern right from wrong, and behave appropriately and responsibly in consideration of others’ needs. The absence of bait makes children naughty, impulsive, and difficult to control; they need discipline from elders. Discipline is deemed best while children are young and wala pang bait (have no sense); it is used especially to curb older children’s tendencies to assert themselves and act independently when they act as if they know better. Although nearing the acquisition of bait, adolescents are perceived as even more corruptible than children, and require guidance of a more delicate nature, given their penchant to rebel against authority. It is expected that with adulthood comes the advent of full bait, although there may be some adults who lose it or never actually acquire it.

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In the foregoing accounts, it is evident that children are perceived as different from adults, in that they lack the knowledge, sense, or understanding necessary to behave competently in their environment. These beliefs are consistent with the parental protectiveness and indulgence reportedly bestowed on infants and young children. Filipino mothers reveal that they are overprotective towards their children, which is the expression of maternal love for children who are viewed as essentially helpless (Espina 1996). The childrearing environment is typically described as nurturing, affectionate, playful, and supportive for younger children (Medina 2001; Ventura 1981). On the other hand, young children’s questions and other displays of inquisitiveness and curiosity are not encouraged or addressed, but are diverted to play and other distractions (Philippine Journal of Child-Youth Development 1976). This suggests that parents may not purposively promote their children’s cognitive development, perhaps in the belief that, lacking sense or understanding, they cannot yet benefit from instruction. Children are also exempt from household and other family responsibilities at this stage, but tag along with and observe older siblings who are not excused (Dela Cruz et al. 2001; Liwag et al. 1998; Nydegger and Nydegger 1966). On the other hand, the aforementioned views of children also provide a basis for parental authority and expectations of children’s compliance, and the relatively more authoritarian mode of parenting experienced by the older child (Dela Cruz et al. 2001). Children’s natural penchant for mischief, impulsivity, and emotionality may be tolerated when younger, but increasingly need to be reined in by adult instruction and discipline starting at the ages of 4–6. Instilling obedience and good manners, and fear of God and one’s parents, become the parents’ primary responsibility in socializing the older child (Dela Cruz et al. 2001; Licuanan 1979).

Filipino Parental Authority and Control; Filipino Children’s Obedience In terms of childrearing attitudes, parents may be described as authoritarian, which emphasizes strictness, respect for authority, and obedience. In contrast, progressive attitudes pertain to childrearing of a more democratic nature, where children are encouraged to think independently and verbalize their ideas (Schaefer and Edgerton 1985). Studies have revealed that Filipino parents, in general, subscribe to authoritarian attitudes. In a nine-country study, Filipino parents rated authoritarian attitudes higher relative to other countries, and progressive and modern childrearing attitudes lower (Bornstein et al. 2011; Alampay and Jocson 2011). [See the chapter “Mother-Child Emotional Availability Across Cultures: Findings from Western and Non-Western Countries” by Putnick et al., in this volume.] Similarly, in the cross-national Value of Children (VOC) study conducted in the 1970s, the quality that 63 % of Filipino mothers most valued in their children is “to mind their parents”, the most popular response, while 25 % indicated “to be a good person”.

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In contrast, only 5 % cited independence and self-reliance as a quality they desire in their children (Hoffman 1988). Obedience was also a frequent response when rural and urban mothers were asked to define a good and competent child (Durbrow et al. 2001). Filipino children generally adhere to their parents’ views in their own definitions of “good child”: a child must obey his or her parents and refrain from talking back, and show concern and care for their parents especially in their old age (Dela Cruz et al. 2001). Such valuing of obedience, in turn, shapes the strategies and interactions of parents with their children. Specifically, authoritarian attitudes positively predict endorsement of physical punishment and the frequency of its use among Filipino parents (Jocson et al. 2012). Disiplina, or discipline, is a dominant theme of Filipino childrearing, and disobedience is the transgression that most often warrants disciplinary action. Acts of disobedience include non-compliance with parents’ rules, orders, or requests; talking back to parents; being naughty by causing younger siblings to cry; interrupting adult conversations with disrespectful chatter; play-fighting with children or siblings; and disrupting order in the house or an event with unnecessary noise or activity (Sanapo and Nakamura 2011). Physical punishment, such as spanking and slapping extremities with the hand or an object, is not uncommon, with about 74 % of Filipino parents reporting its use in a given month (Lansford et al. 2010; Sanapo and Nakamura 2011), and even with adolescent children (NFO-Trends 2001). Other forms are verbal reprimands, threatening, shaming, and comparisons with other children (Dela Cruz et al. 2001; Jocano 1970; Licuanan 1979; Medina 2001; Ramiro et al. 2005; Sanapo and Nakamura 2011). Parents believe that disiplina is a parental duty necessary to “bend the young in the right direction” (Dela Cruz et al. 2001; Jocano 1970), consistent with beliefs of the role of the parent to shape a child who is yet to develop reason and self-control. Discipline, then, is a means to teach, if not a sign of parents’ love for their children (Ramiro et al. 2005; Dela Cruz et al. 2001). Indeed, if a child does grow up to be good, then this is primarily attributed to proper discipline, monitoring, and the teaching of values, according to Filipino mothers, ...