75 Ways to Replace “Sigh of Relief” A Word List for Writers PDF

Preview

Summary

sigh of relief replacemtnts...

Description

75 Ways to Replace “Sigh of Relief”: A Word List for Writers

When Is a Sigh More Than a Sigh? Answer: When it’s a sigh of relief. Do your protagonists sigh in relief or breathe sighs of relief on every second page? Maybe it’s time for a rewrite. Consider the following example. Ted breathed a sigh of relief. A writer might try the following simple changes. Ted was relieved. Ted stopped worrying. Ted calmed down. Ted regained his composure. The edited examples represent subtle differences in meaning, and they’re pure tell. We could do better. Consider Alternative Body Language We already know that Ted is relieved. We could show with body language such as:

A tentative smile Fist-pumping A huge exhalation of pent-up breath Thin laughter Holding a hand over the chest Thanking God Making the sign of the cross Collapsing into a chair or onto a sofa Staggering back a step to lean on something Looking up in silent prayer Eyes brightening and/or widening Mopping away perspiration that has developed while waiting Dropping to knees and clasping hands together Raising chin and cupping back of head in hands Making a face-palm Closing the eyes and tilting the head back Squaring shoulders and making a positive remark Widening the eyes and leaning forward Reaching for or running toward a missing person or pet Leaning forward to hold head in hands Raising palms toward sky or ceiling Shedding joyful tears

Making a thumbs-up gesture Offering a hand for a high-five Clapping Raising one hand in a V-for-victory signal Hugging anyone within reach Dialogue to the Rescue Sometimes a single word will show relief. An exclamation point can reinforce it. “Finally.” “Hooray!” “Phew!” “Whew!” “Whoopee!” “Woohoo!” “Yes!” Showing Instead of Telling Usually Increases Word Count In the midst of an action scene, sentences should be short and concise. Showing might not be your best choice. However, well-chosen phrases elsewhere can energize your writing. Ready for a Few Examples? #1. Ted breathed a sigh of relief. Susan blushed with embarrassment when she noticed his concern. In addition to including a sigh of relief, the above paragraph illustrates a classic example of headhopping. Ted can’t know that Susan is embarrassed, and Susan can’t know that Ted is relieved. A better approach is to pick a point-of-view character and show everything through that character’s eyes. Let’s pick Ted, since he’s the one who breathed the sigh of relief. Ted grabbed Susan and pulled her in for a crushing embrace. “Where were you? I was worried.”

She blushed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how late it was.” Zero head-hopping. However, POV still isn’t clear. Let’s try another edit to clarify. Ted grabbed Susan and pulled her in for a hug, but the stench of cigarette smoke made him sneeze. “Where were you? I was worried.” She blushed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how late it was.” Now we know that Ted is the POV character, because we experience what he smells; and with a few extra words, we’ve added tension. Has Susan been sneaking cigarettes behind his back? #2. The entire USA breathed a sigh of relief when everyone realized that President Reagan had survived the assassination attempt. Exaggeration has its place in fiction, but not in accounts of factual events. A better approach would be to set up a scene in a public place and show the reactions of a few people. Everyone in the bar stared at the TV next to the jukebox as Frank Reynolds of ABC News announced that President Reagan had survived the assassination attempt. Thin laughter sounded from one patron. Another made the sign of the cross. A third slammed his fist onto the table and mumbled, “Great, another three years with a stupid actor in charge of the country.” This is a more realistic scenario. Two people show relief, but one demonstrates dissatisfaction with the outcome. #3. Ray breathed a sigh of relief. “So, doctor, you’re telling me all the cancer is gone? I’m gonna live?” A sigh of relief could be an understatement here. Ray might even be incapable of speech for a moment, because his death sentence has been revoked. Ray’s eyes filled with tears, and he collapsed onto the floor of the doctor’s office. All the cancer was gone. He was going to live! The second example shows a stronger reaction — appropriate for the situation. Ray staggered back a step. Two. He held a hand over his chest. All the cancer was gone. He had his life back! Although too much body language can dilute rather than amplify, a situation like this might warrant it.

#4. Evan stepped onto the scale. He breathed a sigh of relief. Two pounds to go, ten days left. He could do this. A simple smile might work here, but let’s pick something more dramatic. Evan stepped onto the scale and released a huge exhalation of pent-up breath. Two pounds to go, ten days left. He could do this. If those two pounds represent Evan’s goal to fit into a suit for his wedding, he might exhibit even stronger body language. Even stepped onto the scale. Two pounds to go, ten days left. He pumped his fist. Yes! He could do this. Isn’t the fist pump more effective than a sigh of relief? Find more writing tips and word lists in The Writer’s Lexicon series. Available in both digital and print editions. – Exercises and Story Prompts Try to eliminate sighs of relief and similar phrases in the following. If you see an idea you like, you’re welcome to grab it as a story prompt. #1. Republicans breathed a collective sigh of relief when Trump said he’d stop tweeting. Their relief turned into anxiety at 3 a.m. the next morning. #2. A gas station — finally. Scott exhaled a sigh of relief. Phew! I’m running on fumes. His car lurched to within a few yards of the pumps, and then coughed to a stop. Attempts to restart the engine failed. He beat one fist against the steering wheel before climbing out. A tumbleweed drifted between the station and the pumps. A sun-faded sign in the side window advertised BYE ONE CHOCKLATE BAR GET 1 FREE. Tall grass swayed in the cracks of the cement. Must have been years since anyone painted this dump. “Hello? Is anyone here? Hello?” A petite blonde stepped into view. Scott heaved a sigh of relief. Curves in all the right places. But those eyes … Opaque blue orbs stared through him as though he didn’t exist. She moved toward him, silent except for the shuffle of her feet over the cement. Scott turned and ran. #3. Fourteen days lost in the forest. Now, Fritz faced a lavish meal that his loving wife had prepared. Would he be able to digest it?

He bowed his head in silent prayer, thanking God for the food and showing him the way home to Edwina. He took a tentative bite and chewed slowly. Mmm. Ambrosia. A sigh of relief ascended to Heaven. The next mouthful vanished with nary a chew. Within moments the remainder of the food disappeared as Fritz gnawed and growled like a caged bear. All too soon his plate was bare. He belched. A good belch. A belch tinged with the taste and scent of … No! #4. Numbers scrolled across the display at the front of the class, cuing a sigh of relief from Acker Space Academy students. Nobody had failed. In fact, they had all graduated with perfect scores. A buzz of excitement spread through the room. “All of us? Impossible.” “How could it be?” “Is this a joke?” A grim-faced proctor stomped into view. “Willis, Mellinger, and Einstein, report to Admiral Arquette. Immediately.” Short Alternatives for Breathe a Sigh of Relief Beware. Most of these are tells, and some are clichés. Others incorporate filter words that distance readers from your narrative. B to F become encouraged, breathe easy/easily, buck up, calm down, cheer up, chillax, collect oneself, compose oneself, cool down, feel happy, feel optimistic, feel relieved, feel secure, find the answer, find the key, find the solution, forget one’s anxiety G to P gather one’s wits, get a grip on oneself, get control of one’s anxiety, get hold of oneself, get one’s act together, loosen up, mellow out, perk up, pull oneself together Q and R quieten, rally, regain one’s composure, regain one’s self-control, regroup, relax, rest easier

S to W see the light at the end of the tunnel, settle down, simmer down, snap out of it, steady oneself, stop being frightened, stop worrying, unwind, wind down...