Attachment styles PDF

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Summary

Document covers the 4 types of attachment styles with thorough descriptions and examples...

Description

Attachment styles Secure Attachment If a child grows up with a secure attachment, she understands healthy relationships. She is secure, grounded and expects relationships in life that are reliable. She can trust people. What this translates to is an adult who can tolerate difficulties in a relationship and utilize healthy coping skills to manage these challenges. By virtue of expecting others to be trustworthy and reliable, people with secure attachments tend to actually foster this in their relationships. Therefore, a child who grew up in an environment with a secure attachment will, not surprisingly, be more likely to form solid, healthy adult romantic relationships and friendships, and more likely and capable of raising her own children with a secure attachment. Avoidant-Insecure This attachment style tends to result when a child has parents who were consistently not present or were dismissive. Consequently, these children begin to experience the world as a place where others cannot be relied upon and often have unmet emotional needs. As adults, this can manifest as fear of closeness or intimacy. These individuals are often afraid to get too close to others for fear of being hurt – understandably, they feel an innate need to protect themselves. Anxious Attachment This attachment style is more common in children whose caregivers were not consistent in their ability to be there for their children. Sometimes the caregivers were present (both emotionally and physically), and sometimes they were not. These children often present as highly anxious. As adults, children who grew up with this style of attachment may be overly-attuned to their partner. Trusting others is difficult and therefore, they may become hyper-aware of the other person. For example, they may wonder what the other person is thinking, or why he hasn’t called all day, or where he is at any particular moment. It can be harder for someone who was raised with this attachment style to trust and believe that loved ones will follow through or stick around. As you can imagine, this type of behavior can push other people away. Disorganized-Insecure Disorganized-insecure is the most harmful and most extreme of the attachment styles. This attachment style is characterized by fear, mistrust, and inner conflict. People with a disorganized attachment style have a strong desire for intimate connections but also put up walls to protect themselves from getting hurt. This tends to result when caregivers are vastly inconsistent; vacillating from caring behaviors to non-caring behaviors, which are frightening or terrifying. Often times the caregiver(s) were emotionally and physically abusive. Unfortunately, children who grow up in this type of environment often struggle with relationships throughout life. Their relationships may be characterized by a desire to be close while at the same time pushing others away. In the most extreme cases, relationships among adults with this attachment style can involve physical or psychological violence....