Chapter 2 the self, perception, and communication PDF

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Textbook notes for Bailey Lathem's SPCH 1311 course (textbook: Understanding Human Communication)....

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COMMUNICATION AND THE SELF self-concept defined. Self-concept: a set of relatively stable perceptions that each of us holds about ourselves. It includes our conception of what is unique about us and what sets us apart from others, involving emotional states, talents, likes and dislikes, values, and roles. Self-concept also includes our self-esteem, our evaluations of self-worth. Our self-esteem affects how we communicate. Those with high self-esteem are more willing to communicate and take criticism, while those with low self-esteem may feel uncomfortable speaking with others and performing in front of a crowd (worried about negative evaluation). biology, personality, and the self. Personality: characteristic ways that we think and behave across a variety of situations. Personality tends to be stable throughout our lives. Personality traits include: extroverted, patient, emotional, honest, humble, and imaginative. Personality is also mostly determined by genetics, including traits such as extraversion, shyness, assertiveness, verbal aggression, and overall willingness to communicate. However, experience turns these genes on or off, and we are free to make choices. communication and development of the self. Our identity mostly comes from how we communicate with others. Reflected appraisal: describes how we develop an image of ourselves from the way we think others view us. Verbal messages from others, both positive and negative, shape our selfconcept, especially those that come from significant others, people whose opinions we especially value (e.g. teacher, friend, relative, acquaintance, etc). Sometimes the opinions of significant others can lead us to think critically of ourselves. As can society, which often tells us that we need to be skinnier or more muscular. These interpretations and judgments depend on the society, however (e.g. western vs. eastern). culture and the self-concept. Cultures affect self-concept in many different ways. For example, in some cultures, people consider their primary identity to be their lineage or caste, while in western societies, we are very individualistic and identity ourselves by our first names. In countries where interdependence is commonplace, a person’s self-worth is often shaped by the behaviour of the members of the community as well as the individual. the self-concept and communication with others. Self-concept is the greatest factor in determining our interpretation messages and behaviours from other people. For example, children who have a low opinion of themselves are more likely to see themselves as victims of bullying. And if we have low self-esteem, we are likely to interpret someone picking on us as doing so in a malicious manner. Additionally, if we have been negatively evaluated in the past (e.g. facing disapproval after delivering a presentation in a nervous manner) we are more likely to behave in nervous ways

when we encounter similar situations in the future. This behaviour influences how people view our personality, shaping how they respond to us and, in turn, shaping how we interpret future events and thus also changing our present behaviour. It’s a cycle. the self-fulfilling prophecy and communication. Self-fulfilling prophecy: occurs when a person’s expectation of an outcome, and subsequent behaviour, makes the outcome more likely to occur than it would otherwise have been. For example, if you are nervous during a job interview, you may answer questions poorly. There are two types of self-fulfilling prophecies. The first type occurs when your own expectations influence your own behaviour. For example, if you predict that a social encounter will go well, then you are more likely to have a happier disposition and breeze through it. The second type of self-fulfilling prophecy occurs when a person’s expectations govern another’s actions. In other words, when we get positive feedback, we change our self-concept and think better of ourselves and, as a result, we behave differently. Similarly, people who are given placebos often undergo the same effect as those who took curative medicine. PERCEIVING OTHERS steps in the perception process. We sort out and make sense of others’ behaviour in three steps: 1) Selection: the discrimination of which data we will attend to. For example, stimuli that are intense attract our attention (e.g. something loud, bright, large). We also pay attention to contrasting or changing stimulation (e.g. when we take friends for granted when we hang out with them frequently - we don’t know what we have until it’s gone). Internal factors shape how we make sense of others, such as our motives (determine how we perceive people) and our emotional state (mood). For example, if we are happy in a relationship, we are more likely to interpret our partner’s behaviour in a kind way. 2) Organization: the arrangement of information from the environment in a meaningful way in order to make sense of the world. We organize our perceptions of other people using a perceptual schema, a cognitive framework that allows us to give order to the information we have selected. Four types of schema help us classify others: a) Physical constructs (classify people according to their appearance). b) Role constructs (use social position, such as student, attorney, wife, etc). c) Interaction constructs (focus on social behaviour, such as friendliness). d) Psychological constructs (refer to internal states of mind and dispositions). 3) Interpretation: once we have selected and organized our perceptions, we interpret them in a way that makes sense to us. There are several factors that cause us to interpret a person’s behaviour in one way or another, including: a) Degree of involvement with the person b) Relational satisfaction: the phenomenon in which behaviour that seems positive

when you are happy with a partner might seem completely different when the relationship isn’t satisfying. For example, if our feelings are hurt by a friend or romantic partner, we are more likely to forgive and forget if we are generally happy with the relationship than if we are dissatisfied with it. c) Personal experience (bad past experiences influence our future expectations). d) Assumptions about human behaviour (e.g. thinking a person is lazy, etc). e) Expectations (e.g. predicting other people’s behaviours beforehand). f) Knowledge of others affects the way we interpret their actions. For example, if you know that someone is rude to everybody, then you won’t take it personally. influences on perception. How we select, organize, and interpret information is influenced by many factors. Physiological influences: some communication problems arise from ignoring physiological differences in how each of us experiences the world. For example, one person may think that the temperate in a room is too hot, but the other person might think it’s too cold. Age can shape perception (limited experience and point of view - egocentrism). Health and nutrition also play a role, including illness, sleep deprivation, etc. Biological cycles (e.g. variations in body temperature, alertness, sex drive, mood, etc). Neurology (e.g. ADHD - easily distracted from tasks, bipolar disorder - mood shifts, etc). Cultural influences: sex and gender roles, occupational roles, relational roles, etc. ● Sex and gender roles: sex and gender roles are placed on children the moment they are born and can make them uncomfortable when they don’t fit into them at a later age. Sex is a biological category (e.g. male, female, etc) while gender is a socially constructed set of expectations about what it means to be “masculine” or “feminine”. Gender identity is not black and white; it is a spectrum (including four psychological sex types - masculine, feminine, androgynous, and undifferentiated). ● Occupational roles: our occupations determine how we see the world. For example, psychologists focus mainly on the inner workings of the human mind (and how we interact with each other) and other occupations view things differently. Another example of how humans assume roles can be seen in the Stanford Prison Experiment. ● Relational roles: how we relate to other people in our lives (e.g. role of mother, friend). For example, someone with the role of a parent has a changed perception about the world (e.g. father wanting to protect his son from swearing). narratives, perception, and communication. Scientists call the personal stories that we and others create to make sense of our personal world narratives, such as a student blaming a bad class on the professor. Different narratives can lead to misunderstandings and problematic communication. Once narratives are defined, our interpretations of other people’s behaviour change because we start to pick out things about the person that validate our narrative.

Sense making is an interactive process, meaning we create environments through communication. For example, a couple has established a narrative that they have been happily married for 50 years, and therefore they choose to blame outside forces or unusual circumstances for problems instead of attributing responsibility to each other (in an attempt to avoid any explanation that would warp their narrative or discredit it). common perceptual tendencies. Attribution: the process of attaching meaning to behaviour. Inaccurate attributions can lead to misunderstandings and communication errors. Some common perceptual or attribution errors include: 1) We Make Snap Judgments: sometimes, making pre-judgments about people can be a survival skill (it is an evolutionary tactic to pinpoint potential danger) but now these impulses can be troublesome in communication and estrange some people. Examples of this include being turned down for an interview for the way you look (e.g. unkempt appearance, race, disability, etc) or being unfairly treated by someone you just met. These “judgments” become especially troublesome when they are based on stereotypes, or exaggerated beliefs associated with a categorizing system. Stereotypes can be based on things like race, sexuality, gender, age, social status, etc. a) Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: “The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story” in her TED talk. Stereotypes dehumanize people and make it difficult for us to see them as humans, like us, and to treat them as such. b) Three characteristics distinguish stereotypes from reasonable generalizations: i) Categorizing others on the basis of easily recognized by not necessarily significant characteristics (e.g. skin colour vs. the person’s intelligence). ii) Ascribing a set of characteristics to most or all members of a group (e.g. assuming that all men are insensitive to women’s concerns). iii) Applying the generalization to a particular person (e.g. believing that all men are jerks and treating a man like he is a jerk without proof). c) When we generalize and form stereotypes, we often look for behaviours in other people that confirm and solidify these stereotypes. d) Stereotypes often appear in movies, as witnessed by minorities often playing violent thugs or athletes. Taraji P. Henson makes note of this in her emmy acceptance speech, after being awarded for her character “Cookie” on Empire who spent 17 years in prison for selling crack cocaine. e) We can limit the effect of stereotypes by “decategorizing others,” which entails treating people as individuals instead of assuming that they possess the same characteristics as every other member of the group to which you assign them. 2) We Often Judge Ourselves More Charitably Than We Judge Others: we do this because

we try to convince others as well as ourselves that the “positive face” we show the world is true. This is called “self-serving bias.” When other people suffer, we may blame their personal qualities, but when we suffer, we may blame it on an outside force. These harsh opinions we have of others may hinder communication as they may make you appear hostile and lead to a defensive response from the other person. 3) We Pay More Attention to Negative Impressions Than Positive Ones: research shows that when people are aware of both the positive and negative traits of another, they tend to be more influenced by the negative traits. 4) We Are Influenced by What Is Most Obvious: we mostly pay attention to things that are intense (e.g. loud music, brightly dressed people), repetitious (e.g. dripping faucets), or contrastive (e.g. a normally happy person who acts grumpy). Motives also determine what information we focus on. For example, if we are hungry, we will pay more attention to things like restaurants, markets, and billboards advertising food. 5) We Cling to First Impressions, Even if Wrong: accurate labels/impressions can help us respond better to people in the future, but if they are inaccurate, they can cause us to respond or receive people in ways that are also inaccurate. For example, if your friend tells you that the new kid is rude, then you will likely treat them as if they are. You will also look for information and behaviour that supports this claim. a) To combat inaccurate impressions, we must keep an open mind and be willing to change our opinion as events prove that the first impression was wrong. 6) We Tend to Assume That Others Are Similar to Us: we often believe that other people have the same attitudes and motives that we do. For example, people with low selfesteem may imagine that others view them unfavorably. This can limit our point of view and may even lead to offending others occasionally. For example, you tell a joke that you think is funny to a friend, and it ends up offending them. a) We can prevent this by open communication and clarifying things with people. Or, we can make educated guesses after thinking things through. perception in mediated communication. The internet gives us a medium through which we can craft our own persona to show people a side of our lives that is positive and favourable (oftentimes exaggerated or unreal). However, the internet can give us an opportunity to disclose personal information that we wouldn’t have in person (as in online dating or other personal relationships). Text-based channels generate impressions about someone. For example, someone who makes a lot of typos in their emails or messages, or someone who takes a long time to reply. empathy, perception, and communication. A way to better communicate is to increase empathy, the ability to re-create another person’s perspective and to experience the world from the other’s point of view. Empathy has three dimensions:

1) Perspective Taking: the ability to take on the viewpoint of another person. This requires us to set aside our own opinions and consider someone else’s. 2) Emotional: allows us to experience the feelings that others have (e.g. joy, sadness). 3) Concern: a genuine concern for the welfare of the other person. Empathy is not the same as sympathy, but the concepts are different in two important ways. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw - Definition of empathy versus sympathy There are two major differences between empathy and sympathy: 1) Sympathy means feeling compassion for another person’s predicament, whereas empathy means you have a personal sense of what that predicament is like. Sympathy is not identifying with someone’s predicament like empathizing is (it is only pity). 2) Sympathy occurs when we accept the reasons for another’s pain as valid. It is possible to empathize without feeling sympathy, such as in the case where you empathize with a difficult relative, rude stranger, or criminal. Empathizing allows you to understand a person’s motives without necessarily agreeing with or accepting them. Discussion Question: Name an instance where you witnessed stereotyping (maybe even a case where you were the victim of stereotyping or you were guilty of stereotyping someone else). It can involve race, gender, sexuality, etc. Whom did it involve? How did you or the victim react? How could the situation have been handled differently to ensure better communication? Perception checking provides a better way to handle our interpretations of other people’s behaviours. It involves three parts: 1) Stating the description of the behaviour that occurred and that you interpreted 2) Listing at least two possible interpretations of the behaviour (contrasting, probably) 3) Requesting clarification about how to interpret the behaviour An example of perception checking is: “When you stomped out of the room and slammed the door [behaviour], I wasn’t sure whether you were mad at me [first interpretation] or just in a hurry [second interpretation]. What’s up [request for clarification]?” Perception checking is a tool that helps us understand others accurately instead of assuming that our first interpretation is correct, as its goal is mutual understanding and clarification. COMMUNICATION AND IDENTITY MANAGEMENT Identity Management: the communication strategies people use to influence how others view them. Many of us try to create desired impressions of ourselves from other people. public and private selves. Each of us have several identities, depending on how we portray ourselves to different people. Perceived self: a reflection of the self-concept; the person you believe yourself to be in moments of honest self-examination. We call the perceived self “private” because we are unlikely to reveal all of it to another person (e.g. feelings of inadequacy or unattractiveness).

These can include our self-conscious thoughts, goals, motives, or feelings about ourselves. Presenting self: a public image; the way we want to appear to others. Usually this is a socially approved image (e.g. diligent student, loving partner, loyal friend). Sociologist Erving Goffman used the word face to describe the presenting self, and he coined the term facework to describe the verbal and nonverbal ways we act to maintain our own presenting image and the images of others. Facework involves two tasks: managing our own identity and communicating in ways that reinforce the identities that others are trying to present (e.g. using self-deprecating humour to shift blame to yourself, etc). characteristics of identity management. We Have Multiple Identities: we act differently in different situations and with different people. We can act casually with friends and formal with teachers, adults, or our family members. We assume different roles at different times in our life (e.g. partner, parent, student, etc). Identity Management Is Collaborative: with friends, family, or acquaintances, we establish roles. We form different behaviours and agreements based on our conversations with them. For example, we can assume the role of a nice person and reason with someone, or we can get defensive. However, collaboration doesn’t always mean agreement. Identity Management Can Be Conscious or Unconscious: oftentimes our identity management is deliberate, such as when we are in the middle or a job interview or a conversation with someone professional or someone close to us. In other words, we are being careful about what we say and how we say it in order to ensure mutual understanding and possibly agreement. Sometimes we send messages unintentionally, such as through facial expressions. People Differ in Their Degree of Identity Management: some people are very conscious about how they are presenting themselves to other people, carefully choosing how they behave and what they say (called self-monitoring). Other people may simply talk and act without much thought as to how they could be perceived (straight forward communicators). why manage identities? Many times we manage our identities in order to ensure that we are acting socially appropriate. We also manage our identities by acting formal or casual when necessary. Additionally, we may act differently when we want someone to treat us favourably, such as dressing up nicely to a job interview or a court hearing to gain preferential treatment. Other times we put on a front to appear happier than we are. identity management in mediated communication. While online communication can convey postures, gestures, or facial expressions that are an important part of face-to-face communication, they make it easier for peopl...