Chapter 6 - KEY - Key PDF

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CHAPTER 6: REVISING BUSINESS MESSAGES

EXERCISE V: CLASSIFY THE FOLLOWING ITEMS INTO THREE GROUPS A/B/C Groups A. Techniques to achieve conciseness for a message/document B. C.

Techniques to add clarity to a message/ document Techniques to improve the readability of a message/ document

List of items 1. Cutting flabby expressions 2. Cutting clichés 3. Choosing appropriate typefaces, fonts, sizes, 4. Employing white space 5. Ditching long lead – ins 6. Purging/ Eliminating there is/are and it is/was fillers 7. Removing empty words and phrases 8. Numbering and bulleting 9. Scrapping slang and buzzwords 10. Rejecting redundancies 11. Using margins and text alignment 12. Keeping it short and simple 13. Slashing trite business phrases 14. Rescuing buried verbs 15. Restraining Exuberance 16. Adding headings Answer Key Techniques to conciseness for message/document 1,5,6,7,10

achieve Techniques to add clarity to a a message/ document

2,9,12,13,14,15

Techniques to improve the readability of a message/ document

3, 4,8, 11,16

EXERCISE VI: Analyze this situation and answer the questions that follow. Based on what you have learned in this chapter, describe several broad principles that could be applied in helping the individual writing the message below understand what went wrong. 1

TO: Jodi Jameson FROM: Fausto Amato DATE: March 20, 2020 SUBJECT: Avoiding a PowerPoint Slumber Party Jodi, I am writing this message because, pursuant to your request, I attended a seminar about the use of PowerPoint in business talks. You suggested that there might be PowerPoint tips that I would learn that we could share with other staff members, many of whom create PowerPoint presentations. The speaker, Melissa Frieden, made some very good points on the subject of PowerPoint. There were several points of an important nature that are useful in avoiding a PowerPoint slumber party. Our staff members should give consideration to the following: Create first the message, not the slide. Only after preparing the entire script should you think about how to make an illustration of it. You should prepare slides with short lines. Your slides should have only four to six words per line. Short lines act as an encouragement to people to listen to you and not read the slide. Don’t put each and everything on the slide. If you put too much on the slide, your audience will be reading Item C while you are still talking about Item A. As a last and final point, she suggested that presenters think in terms of headlines. What is the main point? What does it mean to the audience? Please let me know whether you want me to elaborate and expand on these points subsequent to the next staff meeting. Fausto

Discuss: What are the specific weaknesses in the message? Answer Key Specific weaknesses: long lead-ins: I am writing this message because, fillers & redundancies: There were several points of an important nature that are….; As a last and final point; elaborate and expand on; Empty words: an important nature wordy compound prepositions: were several points of an important nature verbs converted to nouns (buried verbs): should give consideration; as an encouragement to people; make an illustration of it. trite expressions: pursuant to your request general wordiness. Lack of bullet points and category headings to improve readability EXERCISE VII. Identify errors & revise messages 1. Despite the fact that we lost one of the most important account, we must at this point in time focus on improving customer service. 2

2. This memo is to notify everyone working on the floor that surveillance cameras will be installed next Monday 3. It is general knowledge that there are two many people putting too much emphasis on qualifications. 4. Every effort will be made to serve the long list of order from our customers around Europe. 5. The CEO will refer back to the budget in the meeting today. 6. In the normal course of a product launch, giving free samples is a very useful way to familiarize customers with a new product. 7. Those who accept bribery from corporations will be given an immediate official dismissal. 8. Some meeting agendas mispell the word “calender’. 9. Pyxl has offices in Knoxville and Nashville. They are a full-service digital marketing agency. 10. I ensure you that Pyxl will complete your project on time.

Answer Key 1. Problem: Flabby expression: Despite the fact that; at this point in time Improve: Although we lost one of the most important account, we must now focus on improving customer service. 2. Problem: long lead – in: This memo is to notify Improve: Surveillance cameras will be installed next Monday 3. Problems: - fillers: It is general knowledge that; there are; - buried verb: putting too much emphasis Improve: Too many people emphasize qualifications. 4. Problem: - trite business phrases: Every effort will be made - wordiness: around Europe Improve: The company will try to serve the long list of orders from its European customers. 5. Problem: wordiness: refers back Improve: The CEO will refer to the budget in the meeting today. 6. Problem: empty words Improve: In a product launch, giving free samples is a very useful way to familiarize customers with a new product. 7. Problem: buried verb Improve: Those who accept bribery from corporations will be dismissed immediately. 8. Problem: spelling errors Improve: Some meeting agendas misspell the word “calenda’. 9. Problem: grammatical error: noun and pronoun

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Improve: Pyxl has offices in Knoxville and Nashville. It is a full-service digital marketing agency. 10. Problem: Confusing word choice: ensure Improve: I assure you that Pyxl will complete your project on time. EXERCISE VIII. Identify errors & revise the message below. Date: 31st May, 2020 Sub: Discontinuing Work From Home Format

Dear Employees, No more Covid – 19 in Hanoi for 90 days. So, this is to inform you all that the Management at 4Digital Technologies has decided to discontinue the work from home format at the company. From now on, all the employees will need to come to office at their respective working days to work as work done from home will not be counted. We are hopeful that we will be able to implement this change in our company without disgruntlement. It is the need of the hour that we have to bring in this significant change in our working pattern. In case the decision is revoked, you will be informed in writing. Regards, Rita Sharma Manager 4Digital Technologies. Answer Key Date: 31st May, 2020 Subject: Discontinuing work from home format Dear Employees, The Management at 4Digital Technologies has decided to discontinue the work from home format at the company because there are no new cases of Covid – 19 in Hanoi for 90 straight days. From 5th June 2020, all the employees will come to office on working days. Hours of work done from home after this time will not be counted. In case the decision is revoked, all the employees will be informed in writing. Regards, Rita Sharma Human Resources Manager 4Digital Technologies 4...