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Families Chapter 8 Notes...

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Families-Chapter 8 Reciprocal Socialization  Reciprocal Socialization: is the process by which children and adolescents socialize parents, just as parents socialize them. o Teenager takes on an expensive hobby, hockey. That might have an influence on the parents. The parent works more hours, rearranges work hours. o We often find that parents who are harsh in their approach, tend to have kids with more behavioral problems. The kids are more defiant.. Then parents become more strict. Family as a System  The family is a social system o Has a number of subsystems  Subsystems can be defined in many ways (e.g., children and parents; males and females)  Each family member a part of several different subsystems o Dyadic and polyadic subsystems  Dyadic (two people) and polyadic (involves more than two people) Interactions Between Adolescents and Their Parents Parenting: programs/counseling that are intended to enhance marriages often also improve

parenting Marital status is related to good parenting This is an example of organizational system in a family that has reciprocal influences Marital relations, parenting, and adolescent behaviors can have both direct and indirect effects on each other

Parents as Managers  To help adolescents become independent decision makers, parents must be effective managers. o Regulates opportunities  school area, friends, rides, etc. o Helps structure choices  structure family environment, establishing regular routines, h.w. expectations, bedtime routines o Provides guidance and monitoring  Some kind of idea where the adolescent is going, monitoring has good outcomes  Monitoring includes supervision an adolescents choice of social settings, activities, and friends.  Adolescents also play a role—they may limit their parents’ access to information o Adolescents' disclosure to parents about their whereabouts, activities, and friends I linked to positive adolescent adjustments  What might keep teens from disclosing information to their parents?  They want to become more independent, don’t want many questions asked, avoid judgement Adolescent Changes  Changes in adolescence influence parent-adolescent relationships o Increasing idealistic thought  Cause potential conflict, perfect idea of a parent, and then compare it to your parents, it will cause disappointment, that you’re parents aren’t that perfect  You are more idealistic, being realistic, and parents might not like that o Expectations that parents and adolescents have for each other  Parents often times, might expect the teenager to be just as easy to raise as children, but teenagers aren’t as complaint as kids  “You used to be so easy, and now you are not” o Adolescents become more autonomous  As teenagers get to highschool, they should become more independent and self motivated

Parenting Styles  Authoritarian parenting is a restrictive, punitive style in which the parent urges the adolescent to follow the parents’ directions and to respect work and effort. Firm limits and controls are placed on the adolescent, and little verbal exchange is allowed. o This style is associated with adolescents’ socially incompetent behavior o Poor communication:Don’t question, do as I say, good work ethic 

Authoritative parenting encourages adolescents to be independent but still places limits and controls on their actions. Extensive verbal give-and-take is allowed, and parents are warm and nurturing toward the adolescent. o This style is associated with adolescents’ socially competent behavior o Boundaries limitations but understanding o Extensive verbal intake, you can question parents, and they will explain o Self-reliant, teenagers are socially responsible

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Neglectful parenting a style in which the parent is not involved in the adolescents life o Associated with adolescents’ social incompetence o Not around, not in the picture, just not around o Teenagers are more impulsive and don’t think of consequences o They might engage in deviant behaviors

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Indulgent parenting is a style in which parents are highly involved with their adolescent but place few demands or controls on them o Parents want to be their best friend o Not gonna give boundaries or limitations o Associated with negative behaviors, lack of self control

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Authoritative parenting associated with best outcomes. Why? o Balance between control and autonomy o Engage adolescents in verbal give-and-take and allow adolescents to express their view o Receptiveness  Parental warmth and involvement makes adolescents more receptive to parental influence

Coparenting  Conditions which place teens at developmental risk o Poor coordination o Active undermining and disparagement of other parent o Lack of cooperation and warmth  Conditions which promote positive development of teens o Parental solidarity o Cooperation o Warmth Parent-Adolescent Conflict  Belief of a generation gap  Conflict between parents and adolescents increases in early adolescence o This increase is probably due to a number of factors  Although a high degree of conflict does not characterize most parent-adolescent relationships, some do report prolonged, intense conflict o About 20-25% of US families report engaging in prolonged, intense, repeated conflict  Negative consequences of high levels of conflict Autonomy  Adolescence is characterized by increased independence o Autonomy generally connotes self-direction and independence  Emotional autonomy is the capacity to relinquish childlike dependencies on parents. o Adolescents increasingly deidealize their parents and perceive them as people with flaws rather than simply as parenting figures Autonomy  Boys usually given more independence than girls (Bumpus, Crouter, & McHale, 2001)  Expectations about timing of autonomy vary across culture (McElhaney & Allen, 2012) o Parental control is not always associated with negative outcomes – it depends on the context/culture  Transition in the development of autonomy when leaving home and going away to college (Seiffge-Krenke, 2006)  Boys are granted more autonomy than girls o Get to stay up later, don’t get asked who they are hanging out with o Specifically, for families with traditional gender roles  When do you think you should be fully autonomous and establish your own place/money

Emerging Adults’ Relationships with Parents  Relationships with parents improve when they leave home (Arnett, 2007) o Relationship quality improves when adolescent leaves the home  Emerging autonomy can be challenging  Begin to relate to parents on an adult-to-adult basis

Start to see that your parents struggle with things just like you struggle with things o Start to respect your parents more Successful versus unsuccessful o Successful: parents allowing independence and autonomy, but still being there if you need them, giving adolescent space but still involved o Unsuccessful: still try to exert control over their adolescent, checking in on them 10 times a day, tell them what to do and what not to do More contact with parents o Technology “Boomerang Kids” and “B2B” (Back to Bedroom) o Both of these: just because you move out doesn’t mean you don’t move back in o You finish college and move back home to save money o Adolescents can feel very restricted by this, but it is necessary sometimes o Parents feel anxious, worry more than you would if they didn’t live with you o

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Attachment  It is healthy for teens to be attached to parents as they become autonomous  It was once thought that once you were a teenager, you had no attachment to your parents, we now know that is not true  Having attachment to your parents in your teen years will only impact you positively o Secure attachment: infants use the caregiver (usually the mother) as a secure base from which to explore the environment.  Involves a positive, enduring emotional bond between two people, ‘desirable’  Explore environment, temporarily upset when parent leaves, happy when back o Insecure attachment: infants either avoid the caregiver or show considerable resistance or ambivalence towards the caregiver.  When caregiver comes back, child doesn’t really care that you are back  Sometimes resistance to affection  This tends to have an impact on adolescent and early adulthood romantic relationships

Attachment in Emerging Adulthood  Attachment continues to influence relationships in emerging adulthood o Impacts close relationships  Generally, secure attachment predicts having more positive romantic relationships in adulthood o Adolescent outcomes  Secure Attachment = more positive peer relationships, stronger emotion regulation skills  Insecure Attachment= higher likelihood of depression  Which best describes you?

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I find it relatively easy to get close to others and I am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t worry about being abandoned or about someone getting close to me.  Secure attachment  60-80% of adults I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others. I find it difficult to trust them completely and to allow myself to depend on them. I get nervous when anyone gets too close to me and it bothers me when someone tries to be more intimate with me than I feel comfortable with. Don’t really want to be in a close relationship.  Insecure attachment (avoidant) I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away. Do want to be in a relationship, but anxiety ruins it.  Insecure attachment (anxious) Attachment style is not permanent, it can be changed This does contribute to relationship satisfaction, but it is only a small factor

Sibling Roles  80% of US adolescents have one or more siblings  Siblings usually spend about 10 hours together per week  Usually have pretty mixed feelings about siblings  Judy Dunn (2015) described three important characteristics of sibling relationships: o Emotional Quality of the Relationship o Familiarity and Intimacy of the Relationship o Variation in Siblings  Showing favoritism (Shebloski, Conger & Widaman, 2005) o Parents usually say that they do not have a favorite child    

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Research suggests 65% of mothers and 70% of fathers show favoritism to one child over another The non-favorite child usually reports lower self-esteem and sadness Siblings can be strong socializing influences (Dunn, 2007) High sibling conflict can be detrimental o Paired with ineffective parenting, can lead to depression o How often are they fighting, what does the fight usually consist of Sibling relationships in emerging adulthood o 18-25 age range o During this time, you spend less time with your siblings o Still having mixed feelings about your siblings, they annoy me but I love them o Sibling conflict tends to decrease

Birth Order  First-borns o More adult oriented, helpful, conforming, achieving, conscientious, and selfcontrolled o Parent has a lot of expectations for the child, more demands are placed on them o Positive qualities develop in these individuals

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Tend to be more helpful High achieving in school and later in adult jobs The pressures that they feel: could potentially lead to negative feelings and anxiety

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Later-borns (last-born and middle-born) o Complicated to characterize o Generally have better relationships with peers o Better at making friendships o Last-borns sometimes are too dependent Middle-borns  More diplomatic  Peacemakers, resolve conflict with family members  Stereotypical characteristics are supported by research Last-borns  Sometimes are too dependent  Everything is done for you because they are babying you  They do not strive for autonomy

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Only Child o Research suggests they are achievement-oriented and display desirable personalities o 20% of adolescents do not have a sibling o Research does not support the stereotype that they are spoiled

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Gender differences might make a difference in the nature of these relationships o Spacing, years between you and your sibling o personal differences

 Divorced Families  Many countries, including the US, have experienced increases in divorce rates o US divorce rate higher than most other countries  40% of children born to married parents will experience their parents’ divorce Adolescents’ Adjustment in Divorced Families  Children, adolescents, and emerging adults whose parents divorce show poorer adjustment  High levels of parental conflict even in non-divorced families may lead to similar negative outcomes o Negative marital conflict versus positive marital conflict—can marital conflict ever be positive?  Overall, the majority of adolescents cope well with divorce and do not have significant problems o Retrospective studies 

25% of children with divorced parents experience emotional problems, 10% of children with in-tact families

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Higher levels of impulsivity, irresponsibility, lower levels of academic achievement, increased rate of breaking laws, increased rate for anxiety and depression o Children with divorced parents Children who experience multiple divorces, these individuals are at greater risk for a behavioral problem or a psychological problem We can see these same statistics with ‘in-tact’ families that are constantly fighting

Stay Together for the Kids?  If stress associated with a conflicted marriage is reduced by divorce, it could be advantageous.  If decreased resources due to divorce co-occur with continued conflict and inept parenting, the best choice is not to divorce.  What happens after the divorce? o In large part dependent on parental relationship o How long does it take for families to re-stabilize? o Does it impact adolescent engagement with parents?  Father involvement tends to decrease more than mother involvement post-divorce o Joint custody arrangements have been increasing in the US o Economic changes  On average, custodial mothers tend to experience a decrease in their income of about 25 to 50% after the divorce  Custodial fathers typically experience a decrease of about 10%

Types of Stepfamilies 

Three types of stepfamilies: o Stepfather  The mother has custody of the children and became remarried o Stepmother  The father has custody of the children and became remarried o Blended or Complex  Both parents bring children from previous marriages to live in newly formed stepfamily

Adjustment in Stepfamilies  Adolescents in stepfamilies have more adjustment problems o Similar to adolescents in divorced families  Boundary ambiguity: the uncertainty in stepfamilies about who is in or out of the family and who is performing or responsible for certain tasks in the family system.  Are adolescents better adjusted in simple or complex stepfamilies?  Working Parents  More than ½ of US mothers with a child under 4 are in the workforce and more than 2/3 with a child ages 6-17 are in the workforce  What matters for adolescents is the nature of parents’ work o Parents bring experiences from work into home  Self-Care/Latchkey Adolescents

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Latchkey adolescents do not see their parents from the time they leave for school until about 6 or 7PM How do they handle being unsupervised? o Experiences vary widely Parental monitoring and authoritative parenting help adolescents cope more effectively with latchkey experiences

Adoption  Changes occurring in adoption over past few decades: o Decrease in healthy, non-Latino White infants available for adoption o More prospective adoptive parents began considering adopting foster children o Adoptive parents have also changed o More children are now being adopted by relatives  About 30% of US adoptions are now made by relatives  ex) aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.  Potential outcomes of adoption  Early adoption often results in fewer problems than later adoption  The vast majority of adopted adolescents adjust well o Adoptive teenagers are more prosocial, better at perspectives, and more selfesteem  Parents of adopted adolescents face some unique challenges o Adolescence can be a particularly difficult time for adopted individuals o Identity navigating is harder due to teenager time of adoption Cross-Cultural Comparisons  Different cultures tend to vary on a number of issues involving families o How children should be disciplined  Most common parenting pattern across cultures was a warm, controlling style that was not permissive nor restrictive  Some countries still widely practice authoritarian parenting Other Factors to Consider  Large and extended families often more common among ethnic minority groups  Socio Economic Status SES  Research suggests that sense of family duty and obligation can vary across ethnic groups o Ex) Asian American and Latino families place a greater emphasis on family duty and obligation...