FYWR - 2 13 20 - Professor Brian Trimboli PDF

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Professor Brian Trimboli...

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1)What needs to be improved? I feel that my syntax needs a lot of work. Usually when I write, it sounds very crips and there’s a good flow. In Books on Books, my two papers were incredible. They flowed so well and were brilliant. Writing a personal narrative and trying to avoid the word I is extremely difficult. I also didn’t get a chance to go to the writing center which I usually do, so that could be a factor why I’m not as happy. Thankfully my good friend Elka helped out last night and spent some time going over it with me. She was great and really made it sound much nicer. I think with some work and more “showing” words, it can be much better. So the main problem: syntax. I think there are plenty of better words to use. As a rough draft, it’s fine. But needs work. I want it to be more showy and sound cleaner/crisper. Second, my conclusion is off. It didn’t really give me that wow feeling when I wrote it. I’m not sure why. I am scheduled to meet with Barak Hagler, but I hated meeting with him last time. Mathew Silkin is free, but then I have to miss shiur. Well I did ask Barak to fix my resume, which he doesn’t have so it was a bit unfair of me. I miss Abie! Third, I am missing some words (100 off) so I should probably add more flowery/nice/fancy words throughout the paper. I am also meeting with Professor Trimboli on Tuesday who I am sure will be helpful so that’s exciting. I think it’s going to be great. 2) What does non-evaluative mean? Non-evaluative means being someone who doesn't want feedback. I have been in situations where people don’t want feedback. One of my “good” (sometimes) friends was being a complete jerk. Everytime he does a favor for you, he makes sure you know he is doing one. He’s nosy, mean. One time he’s like I found us a sick place to vacation, so can you pay the difference of how much I saved you for me to come? What a jerk. So I called him out for it and then he proceeded to defend himself and only attack me. I love criticism. My co in Camp HASC, a camp for children with special needs, once told me that I did not spend enough time keeping the bunk together. I then went out of my way to be with the bunk and multiple people commented to me wow I never have seen you with the whole bunk. So he was totally right. If you are being evaluated by someone with no credibility, then it’s worthless. Anyone can say anything about anyone. You need to find people either wiser than you, been in the same situation as you, or who know you well for good advice. Some of the dangers of being evaluative is that you can be doing something wrong for awhile and you will be none the wiser. Non-evaluative- not looking into it too deep and just understanding the basic level. Nonjudgemental -Ask questions...