PH320 Topic 8 KINK Variations in Sexual Expressions PDF

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PH320: VARIATIONS IN SEXUAL EXPRESSIONS FALL SEMESTER 2020 INSTRUCTOR: DR. IVY CHEN 

25 September 2020 OBJECTIVES ➔ Define Kink ➔ Paraphilia ➔ BDSM ➔ Examples of non-coercive paraphilia and coercive activities ➔ Discussion of consent and safety ➔ Gauge one’s own comfort level PARAPHILIA ● Greek word ● “Para-” means beside or beyond ● “-philia” means love or sex ● Paraphilia: “beyond usual or atypical love” ● Uncommon types of sexual behaviors ○ Back then, these behaviors were considered deviant, perverted or abnormal      1

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NONCOERCIVE PARAPHILIA ● No one’s rights are violated, no one is pushed into doing something without their permission, therefore seen as harmless ● Solo activities ● Involves consensual adults ● Fetishism: obtaining sexual excitement from inanimate object ○ Or part of human body (aka partialism) ○ Foot fetish: sexually excited about feet, toes, even maube sensitive towards that part of their body ○ Fetish is being used in the wrong way ○ Form fetish -- boots, gloves ○ Media Fetish: matierial it’s made out of: leather, silk, rubber, fur ○ Examples of fetishes: ■ Shoe fetish or boot fetish: the material its made out of, the laces, the high heels ■ Foot fetish: making feet look more appealing ■ Furries- can also be non-erotic (media fetish) ● Usually more cosplay and fulfilling other fantasies (not necessarily sexual) ■ Messy food fetishes: cream pie, speghetti, pudding (mushy foods) ■ Clown fetish: makeup, wig, balloons CONSENT ● Has to be: affirmative, voluntary and enthusiastic ○ Respect and caring of the other person to their partner ○ Actually say “YES” ● Ask before you take a picture of someone ● Ask before you touch someone and/or their gear/toys ● Can revoked at any time  2

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NONCOERCIVE VOLUNTARY PARAPHILIA ● Transvestism: crossdressing for sexual arousal, most done by heterosexual males ○ Someone who wears clothing that is meant for the oposite gender ○ Could be because the person identifies as the other gender ○ Could be a costume or entertainment ○ Mainly done privately between men and women QUESTION: MASOCHISM IS DERIVING SEXUAL AROUSAL FROM: Receiving pain  BDSM ● Sadism = arousal by inflicting pain ● Masochism = arousal by receivng pain & humiliation ○ Can be physical and/or psychological AGREEMENT KNOWLEDGEMENT OF BOTH PARTIES ● B&D = Bondage & Discipline ● D&S = Domination & Submission ● S&M = Sadism & Masochism VIDEO: SEX, EXPLAINED VIDEO: FANTASIES, HISTORY OF BDSM ● 2/3s of men and women have fantasized about sex toys ● Two most common ones: blindfolds and handcuffs ● POWER AND CONTROL: more than a quarter of people have wanted this to be their fantasy

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○ BDSM: erotic pleasure people take in giving pain, enduring pain, giving dominance, giving punishment, enduring punishment, giving humiliation, enduring humiliation, but all in the realm of “playtime” ■ Associated with leather ● Men wore lots of leather because it made them look more “protecitve” and “masculine” and “rugged” and after the world war, some gay veterans stayed behind on the west coast and went to gay bars and experimented with kinky sex ○ Gay leahter culture spread ● AIDS ● latex , condoms became part of the fun ● It helped people cope with their anxieties around sex ○ By getting them out of their heads ● BDSM fantasies go back way further than the 20th century ○ The S in BDSM comes from Marquis de Sade: ■ A 1700s French nobleman known for his kinky sex crimes and his novels about them ○ The M in BDSM comes from Lopold von Sacher-Masoch ■ An Austrian nobleman, born a hundred years later, wrote a book about a man convincing a woman to be his slave ■ Perversion ○ More than 3/4s of people in lehmiller’s study said they fantasized about bondage (being restrained or restraining someone) ○ More than ½ about discipline (giving/following orders) ○ Almost ¾ about inflicting or receiving pain (biting or spanking) BDSM CONTINUED ● Make it as safe as possible ● Use silk scarves or fur-lined handcuffs instead of metal ones ● It you use metal ones, make sure to know where the keys are

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● Communication-adapted from EROS ○ Safe word has to be somethings that stands out ■ The traffic light is usually used ■ Red-Light means STOP ■ Yellow is maybe slow down ○ Limits ■ What kind of pain do you want? ■ Where do you want it? ■ How much pain? (1-10 scale is useful) ■ Where do you NOT want to be touched? ■ Do you want marks? Where? ■ What kind of aftercare do you think would help you? ● Maybe cuddling or hanging out ● Eat, talk, leave ■ Are there words you do or do not want to hear? ■ What are your hard and soft limits? ■ Do you want to be touched sexually? ○ Impact safety zones (diagram)  BDSM DOCUMENTARY: FACTS & MYTHS ● BDSM isn’t about violence or controlling someone and making them fear you ● Its about using pleasures for excitement, euphoria in your partner ● Most people use some kind of BDSM ○ Its not necessarily just using whips or sex toys or inflicting pain ○ Could be using nails and biting, having your hair pulled or someone calling you dirty names = soft kink ● There is a lot of varying communities within BDSM and what they view as safe or more common  5

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● Generally looked down upon because most people don’t really understand it and it’s seen as taboo ● Dominant and submissive roles can be interchangable ● Dominants need to care for their submissive ● Everybody needs to have a conversation about it ● CONSENT IS KEY ● SAFE WORDS are always to be discussed  NONCOERCIVE VOLUNTARY PARAPHILIA ● Autoerotic asphyxia: cutting off oxygen supply while masturbating to orgasm ○ Dangerous because it can lead to death Deriving sexual pleasure from receiving an enema is called Klismaphilia: receiving sexual pleasure from receiving enemas Psychologically, enemas can be a form of comfort and people can feel like they are being taken care of ● Urophilia: sexual arousal from urine (golden showers) ○ Being urinated on or urinating on someone ○ Usually in the shower (easier to clean off) ● Coprophilia: sexual arousal from feces ○ Watching someone (not really touching) ○ Taboo aspect   

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VIDEO: BDSM DUNGEON TOUR ● THRESHOLD Kink glayground in California ● Discuss any ○ medical conditions ○ emotional triggers ○

sexual boundaries

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Safety ( how to communicate with eachother)

○ Expectations ○ What do you want to gain from the experience? ○ Hard limits ● Its about physical and psychological sensations  COERCIVE PARAPHILIA ● Coercive = involves unwilling participants receiving the sexual behaviors ○ Force or pressure is involved ○ Usually one of the participants is unwilling ○ A lot of it is about POWER ● Done mostly by males; gets turned on by the shock, disgust or fear of the recipient Sexual rubbing against a non-consenting person usually in a crowded situation is called Frotteurism    

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TYPES OF COERCIVE PARAPHILIA ● Exhibitionism: exposing genitals to someone ○ “Flasher” ○ Sending “dick pics” usually going to unwanting recipients ■ Could get into the wrong hands ○ Maybe undressing in front of a window with the blinds up ● Voyeurism: sexual pleasure from looking at naked bodies or sexual activities of other, usually strangers ○ Inner-voyeurism is way the porn industry is doing well because it appeals to people who are curious ○ people once drilled hole in the wall to spy on other people having sex ○ Now people install cameras without the other person’s knowledge or consent ● Frotteurism: sexual pleasure from rubbing genitals up against a person in a crowded place ○ Masturbating against someone ○ ILLEGAL ○ Its either their genitals rubbing against you or they are touch your genitals ● Zoophilia: sexual contact with animals ○ Joe Exotic ○ ILLEGAL because the animal cannot give consent ○ SEXUALLY ASSUALTING ANIMALS ○ Leda and the Swan ■ Zeus disguised himself as animals to sex sex with beautiful women ■ He disguised himself as a swan and had sex with Leda when she went to a lake ■ They have human children (Helen of Troy)    8

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● Necrophilia: sexual gratification from sex with a corpse ○ American Horror Story ○ Because people do not have access to corpses, ■ Someone may ask their partner to get in cold water, do not move during sex and put on makeup to look pale or bluish lips ○ DEAD PEOPLE CANNOT GIVE CONSENT SO IT IS ILLEGAL ○   

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