PS2030 Lecture notes 3 PDF

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Lecture 3: Friendships and Romantic Relationships Lecture Outline The importance of relationships and belonging Theories of relationships Interpersonal relationships Romantic relationships and love Relationship dissatisfaction and breakups The importance of relationships and belonging What is a rela...

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Lecture 3: Friendships and Romantic Relationships Lecture Outline - The importance of relationships and belonging - Theories of relationships - Interpersonal relationships - Romantic relationships and love - Relationship dissatisfaction and breakups The importance of relationships and belonging What is a relationship? à There is a relationship with someone when it is possible to can make predictions about what someone will do, based on what you know about their role and the functional connection between you Why are social relationships needed? The best way to answer this question is to look at studies where these social relationships were missing, and the consequences that it had on the individuals: Victor the wild boy of Aveyron § He was a child found in the woods, totally isolated, living by himself. He had survived by hunting small animals and looking for fruit. § The villagers found him and took him in as they took pity on him. § Victor never learned to stick to social conventions and never adjusted to the new community. • He continued to be aggressive and show various social deficits. § This case can lead to the conclusion that isolation seems to lead to illadjustments However, this inference shows a series of issues. The main issue is that it does not honor the difference between correlation and causation. It means that just because victor was isolated and later ill-adjusted does not mean that we can be sure of the causation between the two. Not necessarily, the isolation was the prime cause of the ill-adjustment. Potentially, it may have been that as a toddler he was ill-adjusted, which may have lead the potential abandonment from the parents and then the isolation. - To test the conclusion, a hypothesis would have to be tested in an unethical experiment of placing children in a dark cell, isolated and then see what happens. The centrality of contact to functioning – isolating animals to test hypothesis Harlow’s (1959) studies on rhesus monkeys - He took newborn monkeys and isolated them alone - He then, only after a long time reintroduced them to the other monkeys to see what would happen - Results showed that, similarly to Victor, the isolated monkeys had a hard time in a social context. - They never learnt how to properly behave as well as interact with peers - They continued to be scared of others, and highly aggressive.

Consequences of a lack of social support à the case of Admiral Byrd There is evidence that social support is not necessary only during childhood, but that it is a lifelong need. This was shown by the case of Admiral Byrd: § He volunteered to man a very remote weather station, all by himself. § He stated that he was looking forward to some peace and quiet when he left to the station § Initially, he was happy and had a way to keep himself occupied. § However, over time he became depressed and lethargic, until finally reaching a full-blown mental breakdown Types of Social Support à Stroebe There are a series of support types that we get from others: 1. Emotional Support a. This is the feeling of appreciation and feeling seen that we have whenever we are with other individuals that care for us. b. These are all positive experiences and stimuli that we cannot do for ourselves 2. Evaluation a. This is others helping up make up our mind about things b. Help us decide how we seen the world and aid in this aspect 3. Information a. We also get information from others about factual things that we might otherwise have missed out and we might need instrumental concrete help 4. Instrumental a. We might need instrumental concrete help from others Prevalence of loneliness There is no direct relationship between contact time and feeling loneliness as well. - A study conducted by Feldman (1998) concluded that ¼ of people in a US survey reported to have felt very lonely during the prior few weeks. - Specifically, adolescents and young adults report being the loneliest out of the demographics This is because, whether people are feeling lonely or not will be dependent on their views on why they are spending less time alone. - If someone is spending time alone because they decided they want some downtime, they are going to feel very different about their alone time, in comparison to someone who is never invited to parties.

Cohen and Hoberman’s buffer effect of social support (1983) + this study looked at the amount of stress people reported to have in their life and how many physical symptoms they reported in the form of headaches and other psychosomatic symptoms + Results showed that these that are more stress show a higher level of physical symptoms, regardless of the social support + Social support, however, creates a difference in the amount of physical symptoms that are being felt by the participants: + No support shows higher physical symptoms in comparison to a larger support group.

Seeking social support to deal with anxiety – Schachter, 1959 + Participants were told they would be administered shocks + ½ were told the shocks would be strong (high anxiety condition), ½ were told the shocks would be weak (low anxiety condition) + They were given the option of waiting alone or with others + Results showed that people who were more anxious as a consequence of expecting the higher shocks preferred to be accompanied by someone The study concluded that if we are anxious, we do have a tendency to seek out the company of others, and it seems that simply being in the presence of another individual has a calming and reassuring effect on the body. What are the consequences of lack of social support? - Mortality rates are higher for single people - Psychological problems more common in divorced people - Suicide rates are higher for divorced people - Cancer patients who belong to a support group survive longer à There seems to be a bigger impact on men rather than women § This is because women tend to have a larger support group as well as a more intimate support group. On the contrary, men do not have this and often have fewer support networks Theories of Relationships Baumeister and Leary, 1995 - A fundamental human need to belong - This study argues that there is an evolutionary basis for seeking relationships - This was concluded as there is no society found where individuals live as hermits - Furthermore, there are other factors such as: o The need to belong is universal o The need to belong guides social cognition o The need to belong is satiable o There will be profound negative consequences if the need is not met Attachment Theory – the developmental basis for how we conduct or relationships 1. Secure attachment style a. The child finds it easy to get close to others, is comfortable with mutal dependence and does not worry about being abandoned 2. Avoidant attachment style a. The child, and later individual, is uncomfortable being close to people, has difficulties in trust and doesn’t like to depend on others 3. Anxious a. Feels others are reluctant to get as close as one would like, worries that the partner doesn’t really love them, as well as has an extreme desire to merge with others which might put them off Social Exchange theory ‘Love is often nothing but a favorable exchange between two people who get the most of what they can expect, considering their value on the market.’ – Erich Fromm - E theory suggests that this is what we as humans do in relationships. We try and determine how much we are worth and how much other people are worth, and we try to make a connection, through maximizing our own utility. - Satisfaction of the relationship will depend on a comparison level. Essentially, is my new partner treating me and being better than my last partner?

Imago theory/therapy (Hendrix) à This theory aids in explaining why we choose a specific partner over someone else. 1. Resemblance with our parents, especially in respects that are negative, so not necessarily good traits. a. This is based on the idea that it is a chance to heal childhood wounds. Thus we may have had a bad experience that we didn’t heal from, and essentially the relationship can be considered as the second chance to heal form this experience. • An example for this theory can be: an individual that grew up with alcoholic parents will be more likely to end up with an alcoholic partner as well. Relational self theory à Andersen and Chen, 2002 - Relational selfs are build in interactions (together with associated beliefs, feelings, etc) o This argues that we build self images in relation to others, we have certain significant relationships as children or young adults and we experience certain emotions and feelings that we remember. - People who remind us of prior significant others activate these relational selfs o Once we meet someone further in life, that reminds us of our previous partner we will start behaving towards them in the same way. - We start behaving and feeling towards them as we did to the prior significant other o So if, for example, our brother has always treated us with inferiority, and later in life we meet someone that treats us similarly, we will act similarly to how we did with our brother Types of Relationships – Clark and Mills, 1993 1. Exchange relationships (business like) i. No responsibility for each other ii. Equity/reciprocity 1. Strangers or work 2. Communal relationship i. There is mutual responsibility for each other, and the individuals in the relationship accept this ii. There is the need for principles in the relationship 1. For example, family Interpersonal Attraction Factors fostering interpersonal attraction 1. Proximity/exposure a. The more you see the person, the more likely you are to be attracted to them 2. Similarity (more than just complementarity) a. Individuals like people who are similar to us. b. Complementarity (opposites attract) only work for very distinct precise dimensions 3. Reciprocal liking

4. Physical attractiveness a. Effects of physical attractiveness i. Interpersonal liking ii. Judged to produce better work iii. Earn more iv. Lighter sentences in court v. Judged to be happier (this is only an assumption, but it is a false belief) vi. Attractive infants get more attentions b. Physical attractiveness of partner – Sigall and Landy (1973) § The experimenters presented two confederates (that were presented as participants) to the actual participants § There were two conditions • Condition 1: the female was attractive • Condition 2: the female was not attractive • As well as they were either presented as two individuals or as two partners § The dependent variable was the impression that the participants had on the male confederate. § They were asked, at the end of the study if they found him attractive or not § The results showed that the participants’ opinion were based on the manipulation of the woman rather than him (as he was not manipulated) • Results showed that the condition were the male was the girl’s partner and the girl was attractive was the condition were participants answered yes 5. Physical arousal – Dutton and Aron, 1974 a. Participants were told that they would be given electrical shocks b. A female confederate was present when the participants were told so c. The men who expected severe rather than light shocks though that the woman was more attractive d. This is a misattribution of physical arousal What is perceived as physically attractive? - Face o It has been found that we like average faces as individuals o However, it has also been found that there are certain features that attract more than others § For females – thinks that make the woman look more innocent o Babyishness o Large eyes o Small nose § For males o Strong jawline o We also like bilateral symmetry - Non-face o For women, the waist/hip ratio is found as attractive o Red

The matching hypothesis - Relationship aspiration = desire for goal + perceived probability of goal attainment - Levels of physical attractiveness between partners and friends tends to match (Forgas, 1993) - Male friends tend to correspond closer than female friends (Feingold, 1988) o This emans that rather than looking in the mirror to check the individual assets, we can look at our friends as we are attracted to those who match up

Romantic relationships and love Types of love 1. Passionate Love a. Intense longing b. Physiological arousal c. Feelings of great fulfilment and ecstasy when reciprocated i. New romantic relationships/limerence 2. Companionate Love a. Intimacy and affection b. Deep care for the other person c. Not necessarily passion or arousal in the presence i. Mature romantic relationships Romantic relationships - Sternberg’s triangular theory of love (1986) o He distinguishes between three components o Based on these three components he created formulas to understand love: § Intimacy + passion = romantic/passionate love § Intimacy + commitment = companionate love § Intimacy + passion + commitment = consummate love Love and Marriage - Would you marry someone that you do not love? o There is a very cultural dimension for this o In the west, we believe we should marry someone we love o In the east, they believe individuals should marry for other reasons, not necessarily love

Relationship dissatisfaction and break-up Prevalence of marital dissatisfaction – Feldman, 1998 - This study shows that if you marry, you are equally likely to succeed in the marriage or to fail in the marriage. - Specifically, Feldman investigated this in different countries and showed the results

Predictors of marital dissatisfaction There are a series of clusters that these predictors fall under: § The psychology of one partner and the other partner 1. Neuroticism 2. Sensitivity to rejection § What goes on between the two partners 1. Lower SES 2. Financial and work-related problems § The context in which the relationship is being conducted 1. Negative attribution patterns 2. Marrying at young age 3. Lack of conflict-management styles The interaction dynamics approach – Gottman and Levenson, 1992 - The way couples interact can be a powerful predictor of dissatisfaction and divorce o Harmful behaviours: § Criticism § Defensiveness § Stonewalling (refusal to deal with problems) § Contempt - 93% predictive accuracy over 14 yrs in Indiana study Measuring relationship strength – Rusbult, 1980 This study was initially designed to investigate why abused women stayed with their partner. He stated that the below factors can explain the reason. These factors can also be used for any other relationship - Alternatives o How attractive to you are people rather than your partner? - Rewards o How much would you lose if you were to split (shared friends, kids, recreational activities)? - Investments o How much time, effort and money have you invested in the relationship? - Satisfaction o To what degree do you feel satisfied with your relationship? - Commitment o For how much longer do you want your relationship to last? From these he created a model. This can predict ‘normal’ relationship outcomes, as well as why battered women return to their husbands...