Task two Conversation Recap PDF

Preview

Summary

Download Task two Conversation Recap PDF

Description

When it comes to gifting, my husband is a difficult prospect to buy for. He has everything his heart desires, is low maintenance and detests surprises. Imagine my delight when I was able to procure a reproduction of a painting he had seen at one of our favorite restaurants and fell in love with. The search for the reproduction was an agonizing one. I was able to find one, and only one, on the internet for sale. The purchase was easy however the shipping developed into a nightmare. After two weeks of back and forth with the seller I was able to have the painting shipped to our home. He was both shocked and delighted by my story of the “painting nightmare”, which would lead to my next surprise gift for him. The original painting was completed in 2005. The artist went on to create three renditions of the original in 2006, 2007 and 2010. With each year the artist would include new scenery to each painting. The initial purchase of the painting was for no specific occasion. It was just an I Love You gesture. I had an inspiration that I could pull off one more surprise for my husband and purchase the 2010 painting for his birthday, which would end up being a huge mistake on my part. Let me set the scene for you. My husband’s birthday is in September and his yearly request is an ice cream cake, which of course I am happy to do for him because he never asks for a thing. I present the cake and next up is the cylindrical package which contains the new painting. He opens his gift and I could immediately see he was not as delighted as I was for his surprise. He thanks me, in a condescending tone, and I ask what is wrong. He tells me that the initial painting was all that was necessary and that I should not have spent the money on the newer painting. He proceeds to tell me he would rather have the money in the bank than hanging on the wall and we absolutely did not need two of the same, just different years with additional scenery, hanging on the wall. I am in total disagreement with him and definitely want to defend my actions and reasoning of the purchase. We are now embroiled in a full fledged argument about my birthday present for him. Of course I stand behind my purchase and that he should be thrilled to have both copies which he has a complete and total lack of understanding of my viewpoint. After a long conversation where I knew I was not going to come out on top, I agreed to never try and surprise him on any occasion, be it Father’s Day, Christmas, Birthday or a just because I Love you event. When the circumstance for another gift emerges, I will consult with him before spending one red cent on another worthless gift. When analyzing our conversation, I was on the bio-reaction rung and my husband was on the bio-reaction and content rungs at the start. I started on the bi-reaction rung due to being hurt and angry that he did not appreciate nor approve of my gift. As for the conversation meter, I briefly began with pretense expressing my “why” of the purchase then voiced my sincerity in defending my purchase. He was on the bio-reaction rung with his anger at my spending money on unwanted items all the while maintaining the content rung with his condescending tone explaining the “why” of not wanting the gift. He was on the level of pretense on the conversation meter at the beginning by not explaining his true feelings in regards to the gift then moved directly into the sincerity level with his harsh and callous candor with his explanations. His reasoning for not appreciating the gift, which put him in the accuracy category of the conversation meter, I disagreed with and defended my actions with my beliefs which put me on the accuracy end of the conversation meter, and our conversation became quite heated, loud and words

became very colorful and hurtful because he did not agree with me, which leads us both to the bio-reaction rung of fighting for a bit. We are both on the accuracy level of the conversation meter by now. I tried to explain to him my thought process (accuracy) of the purchase and he would not listen to a word I said. He remained on the content rung. I progressed to the compassion rung while he remained on the content rung and listened to his “I would rather have the money in the bank” speech (his accuracy) and gained insight to his reasoning. His statements are accurate and authenticity in regards to the conversation meter at this point. At the end of our talk we both made it to the intersection rung and came to the agreement that before money was thrown away on useless gifts we would discuss it first. We both expressed our feelings with accuracy and authenticity, so that each of us understood how the other felt, that we would consult one another to alleviate any future incidences like this one. Both of us reached the authenticity level on the conversation meter by the end of the conversation. As I reflect back on our discussion, which became a full blown argument, I could have kept my emotions in check at the start instead of acting on them which would have put a halt on the argument at the beginning. I did not use my listening skills regarding my husband’s accuracy and authenticity regarding surprises. I used deaf ears to his peas of “no surprises” and never thought about it again. Thinking back, I should have listened to the voice inside my head that kept telling me to not try and surprise him (accuracy) a second time and that it would backfire because he doesn’t like surprises (authenticity). Listening to my intuition (accuracy) and his never ending vocals of “I don’t like surprises” (authenticity) would have prevented the entire scene that unfolded. Being honest and open (accuracy and authenticity) is the only way to keep a relationship between husband and wife on the right track and out of divorce court....