Chapter 5 Language - These are notes from the course Interpersonal Communication from the school PDF

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These are notes from the course Interpersonal Communication from the school year 2015-2016 ...

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Chapter 5: Language Key Terms  Abstraction ladder – a range of more abstract to less abstract terms describing an event or object  Ambiguous language – language consisting of words and phrases that have more than one commonly accepted definition  Assertiveness – clearly/directly expressing thoughts, feelings, and wants to another person  "But" statement – a statement in which the second half cancels the meaning of the first “I’d like to help you but I can’t or I’ll miss my bus.”  Convergence – process of adapting one’s speech style to match that of who we are communicating with  Divergence – speaking in a way that emphasizes difference from others  Evaluative language – language that conveys the sender’s attitude rather than simply offering an objective description  Euphemism – pleasant term substituted for blunt one to soften impact of unpleasant info  "I" language - language that uses first-person singular pronouns to identify the source of the message and to take responsibility  “It” Statement – a statement in which “it” replaces the personal pronoun “I” making the statement less direct and more evasive  Phonological rules – rules governing the way in which sounds are pronounced in language  Politeness – communicating in ways that save face for both senders and receivers  Powerful language – direct and forceful word choices, with declarations and assertions  Powerless language – forms of speech that communicate to others a lack of power in the speaker, hedges, hesitations, intensifiers, etc.  Pragmatic rules – rules that govern interpretation of language in terms of its social context  Racist language – language that classifies members of one racial group as superior/inferior  Relative language – words that gain their meaning by a comparison  Sapir-Whorf hypothesis – the best-known declaration of linguistic relativism (notion that language individuals use exerts strong influence on the perceptions)  Semantic rules – rules that govern the meaning of language, instead of structure  Sexist language – language that unnecessarily differentiate between females and males or exclude, trivialize, or diminish  Static evaluation – treating people/things as if they are unchanging  Syntactic rules – rules that govern the ways symbols can be arranged, as opposed to the meanings of those symbols  "We" language – language implying the issue being discussed is involving of both parties to share responsibility and connection  "You" language – expresses/implies a judgment of the other person Activities 1. Are there ever situations in your life when it is appropriate to be less clear and more vague? Use the information on pages 153-158 to answer this question and to decide whether vagueness is the most competent approach to the situation. When I was younger around 15 years old I would often lie to my parents about where I was. When I got home, when my mom would ask about where I was, I would play it casual and only give vague, non-question-stimulating responses so I

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wouldn’t have to come up with any details. Getting too specific could risk getting caught due to a small part of my story not lining up, and it sounded suspicious to talk about it too much and go into depth with it. In this situation, for my best interest it was better for me to be vague in my message so as to not arouse suspicion. However, there are situations in which is it better to be honest and clear in order to communicate the most accurate message possible. When I was in my freshman year of college I came here with a boyfriend and we would fight all the time. He was long distance, so it being always over the phone it was complicated to express to each other while we were frustrated. Because of this, I decided I needed to make sure not to sugarcoat things because he already couldn’t see my nonverbal cues. I began to express it easier and we ended up ending things, but if we had continued to hold back from each other it would have gone on unnecessarily longer and things would have gotten worse between us. 2. Describe the influence gender has on language use in interpersonal relationships. Some people believe there are significant differences between the ways men and women communicate, while others point out only minor differences between them. Some believe they encounter every life experience with completely different feelings, thoughts, emotions and responses. This interpretation may have something to do with the ways men and women present themselves in social situations, as women have been conditioned to express their emotions more openly while men have been conditioned through shaming or the idea of “ideal masculinity” to hold certain emotions back in order to not show weakness. This could be perceived from the outside as men having a more serious, strong, angry or tougher demeanor while women having more of a weak, emotional, sad, hysterical, open demeanor, when in fact their behaviors may not be truly displaying how they feel, but only their socially constructed way of feeling. This leads to the view that the differences are actually only minor, and can vary between certain men and certain women. Not all women are tentative and use powerless language, some are outspoken, loud and tough in their communication, just as not all men are strong and use powerful language, some are more emotionally expressive and shy in their communication. 3. Recall an incident in which you were misunderstood. Explain how this event illustrated the principle "Meaning are in people, not words." Last year one my neighbor who we were close friends with made a big romantic Valentine’s Day gesture by leaving flowers and candy at my door. However, it was anonymous so I texted the guy I had been talking to, to ask if they were from him. Embarrassingly, he said they weren’t. When I found out who they were from I explained I had somebody, but forgot to mention to my guy who sent them. So, much later when I brought it up in conversation, he realized I had never directly told him who the anonymous guy was when I found out, and thought I kept it from him for a reason. Communication is incredibly subjective, for me I just never thought to bring it up because it was kind of a sensitive topic, but for him I didn’t bring it up because I was trying to keep him in the dark about this “other guy”. This misunderstanding drove us apart and we never fixed our connection....