Chapter 7 Listening - These are notes from the course Interpersonal Communication from the school PDF

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These are notes from the course Interpersonal Communication from the school year 2015-2016 ...

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Chapter 7: Listening: Receiving and Responding Key Terms  Advising – suggestions to solve the problems they come to us with  Ambushing – listen carefully, but only to collect info that can be used to attack you  Analytical listening – most concerned about getting full message before making judgement  Analyzing – listener offers interpretation of speakers message  Attending – psychological part of listening, as hearing is physical, filtering/processing  Closed questions – trapping listener into corner, looking for agreement, limited responses  Counterfeit questions – disguised attempts to send a message instead of receive more  Defensive listening – take innocent comments as personal attacks  Empathizing – showing that they identify with the speaker and their messages  Evaluating – appraises the sender’s thoughts/behaviors as favorable or unfavorable  Filling in gaps – like to think what they remember makes the whole story  Hearing – process in which the sound waves strike the eardrum, physiological side  Insulated listening – opp. of selective listening, avoid certain info/topic don’t want to hear  Listening – taking in the meaning of a message  Listening fidelity – degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the attempted message was  Mindful listening – giving careful/thoughtful attention to the messages received  Mindless listening – reacting to others messages automatically/routinely without much mental investment  Open questions – asking for true response, variety of responses  Paraphrasing – feedback that restates in our own words the message you think they sent  Pseudolistening – pretending to listen  Questioning – when the listener asks the speaker for more information/details  Relational listening – most concerned with building relationships and closeness with others  Remembering – being able to recall information told to us  Responding – giving speaker observable feedback to a message  Selective listening - most concerned with information that relates to them  Silent listening – staying attentive/nonverbally responsive without giving verbal feedback  Sincere questions – aimed at better understanding of the speaker  Stage hogging – only interested in expressing their ideas and disregard others’ messages  Supporting – expressions of care, concern, affection, interest, consoling  Task-oriented listening – most concerned with efficiency and accomplishing task at hand  Understanding – complex, composed of awareness of grammar, knowledge about source, and context Activities 1. Communication problems can arise from factors that aren't easily observed. Based on your experience, decide which of the following steps in the listening process cause the greatest difficulties for you: a. Hearing b. Attending c. Understanding d. Remembering e. Responding

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In my experience, remembering is a difficult stage as I have awful memory. Not only do I have awful memory for fine details of stories people tell me, but often during the exchange, even if I care extremely about what the person is communicating to me, my focus goes elsewhere. However, it is not elsewhere in the way that I am ignoring them. I listen to them, but my focus goes to my responses such as eye contact, facial expression, what I say in return or the emotion in my voice. I may completely empathize with a person going through something emotional, but my mind could draw a blank and suddenly I do not know what to say. I hate this struggle, because it communicates a false message to them as if I do not care or do not understand their pain, when truly I do I just may be too absorbed in how I come off to them that it comes off as not genuine. So all in all, responding may be the step I struggle with the most. 2. What responsibility do communicators have to listen as carefully and thoughtfully as possible to other speakers? Are there ever cases where the poor listening habits listed on pages 211-212 (for example, pseudolistening, stage hogging, and defensive listening) are justified? How would you feel if you knew that others weren't listening to you? It’s important for a listener to make the communicator confident that he or she is being heard and understood, and to do the best they can to empathize through the communicator’s experiences. However, some bad listening habits such as pretending to listen, in my opinion, can be justified sometimes. Often, I can tell when my roommate tunes me out when I am not talking about something that interests her, so I figure, why should I give her mindful listening when she is just in needing of an ear? Therefore, when she talks to me, I pretend to listen sometimes because I know she does not fully tune in with me when I need her. Communication is a two-way street and if she is not putting in effort than I won’t either. It makes a person feel small and worthless when they try to express feelings and the person listening doesn’t care, or is judging them and not trying to understand their message and work with them....