COMM 1700 - Knapp - Assignment PDF

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Knapp’s Stages of a Relationship as illustrated by When Harry Met Sally What is the name of Knapp’s stage 1- Initiating Define/Describe it: This stage is the first encounter often very brief and conventional. It requires an opening remark, which used to be reserved for men. Give example(s) from film, -When Harry and Sally meet each other on the street when Harry was in a relationship with Amanda. -When Marie and Jesse meet each other outside the restaurant with their respective friends Sally and Harry. Justify why you think it fits: These example shows a brief encounter where they greet each other politely. They conventional greet each other as expected, but nothing further happens at that time. These examples fit the initiating stage.

What is the name of Knapp’s stage 2- Experimenting Describe it: This stage is known as the small talk stage. They indicate who they are by asking lots of questions. The conversation is looking for commonalities. Commitments are limited and progress is rare. This stage often stops and starts. Relationships are sometimes terminated at this stage. Give example(s) from film, -When Harry and Sally drive to New York, they talk in the car discussing school, future careers, likes/dislikes, etc. -When Harry and Sally go to dinner after meeting each other at the airport many years after the first encounter. Justify why you think it fits: When Harry and Sally talk both times they are engaging in small talk. They ask lots of questions and find they have have similarities and differences. These examples show how this stage can stop and start again many years later. What is the name of Knapp’s stage 3- Intensifying

Define/Describe it: This stage is the beginning of intimacy. Close friendships become relationships during this stage. People share feelings and emotions. There is a beginning of commitment, which is seen by paying closer attention to appearance, saying “I love you”, spending more time together and more physical closeness. Give example(s) from film, -When Harry and Amanda are saying goodbye in the street by kissing and saying I love you, while Sally waits to head to New York with Harry. -When Sally and Joe are at the airport saying I love you and kissing. -When Harry and Sally begin spending lots of time together by having dinner, going to shows, and talking on the phone. Justify why you think it fits: These three examples show that intimacy is beginning at this stage. There is physical intimacy in the first two through kissing and in the third example they are going places to together. The first two say I love you to each other and have a commitment to each other. Emotional intimacy in third example is emphasized to be similar to physical intimacy, which is shown by Harry and Sally talking on the phone laying the same way in split screen like they are in the same bed.

What is the name of Knapp’s stage 4- Integrating Define/Describe it: This is the stage when the relationship is thought of as a couple. They are now a new unit that others refer to and think of you as one. There is a blending of social commitments and social circles. There is both symbolic sharing (“our” anniversary) and literal sharing of items and even living spaces. They become similar to each other. The similarity is actually confluency meaning they aren’t getting more alike, but submerging their differences. Give example(s) from film, -When Harry and Sally attend event together like holidays and social events. -When Marie and Jesse move in together and share their things and living space.

Justify why you think it fits: This two examples fit the description of the Integrating Stage because they are now seen as a new unit together. The first example shows the blending of social commitments at holidays and special events. The second example shows literal sharing by sharing their things and living space.

What is the name of Knapp’s stage 5- Bonding Define/Describe it: This stage usually signifies a legal commitment, which is public, permanent, and entitles rituals. This legal commitment includes engagement and marriage. The public commitment implicitly suggests permanence (that they will stay together forever) Give example(s) from film, -When Joe and Kimberly announce to Sally that they are getting married. -When Jesse and Marie get married. -When Harry and Sally get married. Justify why you think it fits: All three of these examples show a legal commitment that is public, permanent, and involves rituals. All of these are the commitment to be married to each other forever.

What is the name of Knapp’s stage 6- Differentiating Define/Describe it: After spending so much time together, this stage is when couples feel they spend too much time together. They are looking for a balance of time, autonomy, and privacy. They often take on new hobbies and separate activities during this stage. The first arguments happen during this time. The statement “you are not the person I married” comes up because they are no longer pretending that they are similar because they aren’t. Give example(s) from film, -When Jesse and Marie argue about an end table Jesse picked out for their house. -When Harry and Sally spend some time apart and do their own thing.

Justify why you think it fits: These examples both show that they are looking to find themselves in their relationship. The first example shows the first argument of their marriage. The second example shows them pursuing separate activities.

What is the name of Knapp’s stage 7- Circumscribing

Define/Describe it: After fighting so much, people in this stage no longer feel like talking because it is painful. They often circle each other to avoid arguments. Give example(s) from film, -When Harry and Sally didn’t talk to each other after their argument. Justify why you think it fits: The example shows that they didn’t feel like talking to each other anymore because it was too painful to address the issue they were arguing about.

What is the name of Knapp’s stage 8- Stagnating Define/Describe it: At this stage the relationship has stopped growing. They are only staying together because they feel like they have to. They no longer are happy together or even attracted to each other. If a relationship gets to this stage, outside intervention is needed. Give example(s) from film, -When Marie and Arthur’s (the married guy) relationship stops growing and stays the same Justify why you think it fits: This example shows that Marie realized their relationship was no longer staying so why were they staying together. She didn’t know if Arthur wanted to make her happy and leave his wife. They were stuck in a stand still.

What is the name of Knapp’s stage 9- Avoiding Define/Describe it: During this stage, they create physical distance from each other. It is too hurtful to be near each other in this stage. Sometimes trial separations begin during this stage. Now, people around can see there is a problem. Give example(s) from film, -When Harry and Helen had a trial separation before they got divorced. Justify why you think it fits: This example shows they they were creating physical distance from each other and they had a trial separation from each other.

What is the name of Knapp’s stage 10- Terminating Define/Describe it: This stage is when the relationship ends. The process of ending the relationship can be very painful and drawn out. Usually the longer they have been together, the more painful. If children are involved, it can be even harder. Give example(s) from film, -When Sally and Joe split up because Joe doesn’t want to have kids. -When Harry and Helen split up because Helen moved in with someone else. Justify why you think it fits: This examples fit the terminating stage because they are both ending the relationships. The first example is shorter and less painful because they weren’t together as long. The second example is more painful and drawn out because they were together longer. In the second example, Harry fits the terminating of their relationship painful and has a hard time dealing with it....