Conflict Essay Outline PDF

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COMM INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS ...

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Title: Simple Conflict: Disrespect Can Cause Failed Communication Author: Molly Hamdan Specific Purpose: The purpose of this paper is to demonstrate to readers how differing views on delicate topics between two people can create less than favorable arguments. Central Idea: The central focus of the essay is that people with different views and beliefs should be able to interact with one another, and express said opinions whilst continuing to act with decorum and respect. Introduction: I. Attention Getter: “Preservation of one's own culture does not require contempt or disrespect for other cultures.” (Cesar Chavez) II. Establishment of ethos: I am credible because I dealt with a conflict involving my friend’s mother, researched resolution strategies in Beebe’s textbook, and composed the following analysis III. Central Idea: The central focus of this paper is that my friend’s mother and myself practiced unproductive, somewhat hostile communication that created a dispute. IV. Preview: This paper will demonstrate the type of conflict that occurred, the conflict management styles used, and two ways the conflict could have been managed more effectively. Transition: The type of conflict used in this interaction will be explored, along with the management styles utilized to show why this woman and I were unable to clearly communicate with each other, and two ways the conflict could have been managed more effectively, starting with Ego Conflict. Body: I.

Main Idea #1: Ego Conflict

A. Ego Conflict is defined as conflict in which the original issue is ignored as partners attack each other’s self-esteem. As each person in the conflict becomes more defensive about his or her position, the issues become more tangled; according to Beebe, Beebe, & Ivy (2012, pg. 225). After posting a status on my Facebook page concerning the importance of Pro Choice, the mother of a close friend of mine began to comment on my status with her opposing opinion on the matter. In my very first rebuttal to her initial comment, I made it clear that I understood that she had the right to her opinion, just as I had the right to mine and that we should simply respect said rights. Unfortunately, instead of leaving it at that, she felt it necessary to veer off into other topics, such as telling me that because I believed in pro-choice that I “obviously believe in suicide and euthanizing yourself when you have an ailment that you don't want to live” Which was completely off topic and not at all the point of my status. The discussion continued on in this fashion, with me repeatedly attempting to express that I wasn’t trying to disregard her beliefs, just that in this country we are all entitled to have our own opinions, and that we should be able

to express them as we see fit, while she continued to bring up things that did not pertain to the current situation.

Internal Summary: An issue containing opposing views can go from being a civil debate to a nasty argument fairly quickly when people, instead of staying true to the issue at hand decide to bring their personal vendettas into it, rather than deal with the disagreement in a respectful fashion. Transition: Now that the conflict type has been addressed, the conflict management styles will be discussed.

II.

Main Idea #2: Competition Conflict Style A. According to Beebe, Beebe, & Ivy (2012 pg. 321), “The pattern we choose [when dealing with interpersonal conflict] depends on several factors: our personality, the individuals with whom we are in conflict, the time and place of the confrontation, and other situational factors. The woman with whom I had this argument utilized the Competition Conflict style, which is a win-lose style that stresses winning a conflict at the expense of the other person involved. They are typically not other-oriented. (pg.234) during this conflict, my friend’s mother had a need to control the situation from the start. As our book illustrates she deferred to tactics such as scapegoating and blaming when she accused me of also believing in suicide and Euthanasia because I was pro-choice. After I believed the discussion to be over she again began commenting, ending with “ I HAVE ONE FINAL WORD - ADOPTION AND I'M GLAD YOUR MOM CHOSE TO HAVE YOU. FIGHT FOR A DIFFERENT CAUSE” She seemed to become more abrasive the more that I explained that I simply believed that every individual woman had the right to choose what happens to their bodies. While I repeated several times that I respected her right to have an opinion, she made it very clear that she did not respect mine, and would not budge. Internal Summary: Due to Luke and Kofi being unable to have a higher level of communication competence, they are not able to successfully persuade the other to react to their message.

B. Instead of using the same tactics as her, I attempted to use the Compromise conflict style. As stated in the text, to compromise is to attempt to find a middle ground- a solution that somewhat meets the needs of all concerned. Beebe, Beebe, & Ivy (2012, p, 95) When the discussion first began, I was aware that I was talking with someone very set in their ways of thinking. I understood that there was no way to make her appreciate my opinion, so I simply attempted to say that she was completely entitled to her opinion, but that also meant that I was entitled to mine as well, and that we should just attempt to respect each other’s difference in beliefs. I stated the following, “I also believe that just as you are entitled to your opinions on this and all subject matter, that I am also entitled to mine. I strongly believe people can believe in

different things and still respect others and their beliefs.” Unfortunately my compromise could only go so far. While I tried to achieve some sort of middle ground, her refusal to meet me halfway stunted my attempts. Internal Summary: During the Ego Conflict, competition and compromise were two conflict management styles used by the opposing parties. Transition: Now that the conflict management styles have been addressed, it is time to move on to two ways that could have helped manage this conflict in a more effective way. III. Main Idea #3: According to Beebe, Beebe, & Ivy (2012) a good conflict management skill is to avoid personal attacks, and over emotional statement. (p.239) A. My discussion partner’s biggest flaw was her need to somehow attack me personally rather than looking at the issue objectively. When she began to call me untrue things, I felt attacked, allowing the argument to escalate and become an ego conflict. Yes, something about my status triggered a negative emotion within this woman, causing feelings to become hurt allowing her to lash out at me, but this only made matters worse. Had she not been so dramatic in our discussion, we could have kept things more civilized. B. A key thing that I myself could have done differently in the discussion was to be empathic. Our book states that to truly understand another person, you need to do more than catch the meaning of his or her words; you need to put yourself in the person’s place emotionally. Beebe, Beebe, & Ivy (2012) she obviously felt very strong emotions after reading my status, and there is a concrete reason as to why she felt said emotions in the first place. If I had thought more about what caused her strong reaction, and less about the reaction itself I could have approached the situation differently. I could have taken into account her feelings and then responded to her in a way to diffuse the tension. (Internal Summary: The ego conflict could have been managed more effectively if the message had been void of personal attacks, over emotional statement, and if I had been more empathic towards her.) (Transition to conclusion: Ways to improve the conflict management have been discussed, so now the analysis will be wrapped up.) Conclusion I. Restate Central Idea: The central idea of this essay is that my friend’s mother and I both had strong opinions on a matter, which resulted in an ego conflict that could have been dealt with in a more effective way. II. Review Main Points: An ego conflict took place, which is made clear through the difference in opinions between the two parties. During this ego conflict competition and compromise were two conflict management styles used by the opposing parties. The ego conflict could have been dealt with more effectively if the message had been rid of personal attacks, over emotional statements, and if it had been more empathic.

III.

Tie to introduction: What could have been a productive, strong discussion about society is turned into a hostile attack on someone beliefs, and inability to respect the opinions of others. The biggest problem was the inability to respect the views of someone else, even if you didn’t agree with them.

IV.

Creative concluding statement: In today’s society, it is not a difference of opinion that causes conflict, but people’s inability to, even if they don’t agree, respect the opinions of others....