Essay 2 Family Communications PDF

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Emily Sapio GSS 2111 191 11 June 2019 Importance of Relationship Maintenance

Families are a complex system that regularly consist of positive and negative changes. Being able to respond accordingly to the challenges individual members face is important in maintaining relationships among one another. According to Mikhail Bakhtin’s view, social life is an open dialogue characterized by multiple systems of meaning or discourses that guide and influence our interactions and relationships with others.(GM 71) By being conscientious of our communication within our relationships, many factors can be implemented to maintain these relations. Having dealt with past relationships where communication and mutual respect was lacking, it became a priority of mine to properly maintain my relationships. The text states, “Because relationships inevitably involve stresses and challenges, partners need to communicate openly and regularly in order to cope with difficulties and maintain their connections”(GM 112) I find this point to be important because it highlights an important aspect of life. It’s difficult and for that reason we need to actively work at our relationships to avoid our daily troubles from deteriorating them. For instance, my brother and his fiance have been under an immense amount of stress due his recent amount of overtime at work. Because of this, their relationship has hit a roadblock due to the lack of contact. The two spoke about it and decided that they need to prioritize rituals they once did when free time is available. After work, they find at least 2 to three

days a week to go out to dinner or treat themselves to a evening of relaxation. Through speaking openly and listening carefully, they were able to healthily maintain their relationship. The text explains that several behaviors play a role in couple maintenance. These behaviors consist of positivity, assurance, network, self disclosure, openness, understanding, relationship talks, and tasks.(GM 112) Implementing these behaviors to effectively maintain relationships requires consistent effort. In my current relationship, my boyfriend and I find openness to be the most important aspect of a relationship. Being able to speak freely among one another provides the framework needed to communicate properly especially when challenges arise. Knowing I can tell him anything provides me a sense of comfort and connection that is lacking in most of my other relationships. Secondly, I see self disclosure as an important way to maintain relations. My boyfriend suffers with depression and an alcohol addiction. Because he openly explained this to me, I am able to respond accordingly to keep our relationship stable. His depression causes him to live with many insecurities. Through the use of assurances I am able to tackle these feelings and help him know that he is cared for. Something that makes him feel that I am very committed is my support of him working the Alcoholics Anonymous program. We regularly attend meetings together and have built strong relationships with people in the program. This type of assurance is something that has provided great stability to our relationship. I disagree full heartedly to the claim that, “If you have to work at a relationship then something is wrong.” The text says, “ It is only through personal commitment that a long loving relationship remains a vital and vibrant part of one’s life” Personal

commitment consists of an individual’s desire to be with their partner. Contrary, moral commitment is obligatory and structural commitment is resistance to leave due to the idea that other options are lacking.(GM 134) In my opinion, one can give all the gifts and sentiments to another that they can, but if they are not committed the relationship from a personal standpoint the it will ultimately fail. Staying with someone due to religious or the idealism that alternatives are unavailable does not express true love and care for someone. My mother speaks very openly to me about her relationship with my dad. Overall, they have a troublesome relationship and suffer a great disconnect among one another. My mom expressed to me that she wants to move out and separate from him but is very scared that she will not make it on her own. It’s unfortunate because I have always seen her as an independent role model because she is self taught and very capable in many challenging things. But she tells me that she is very insecure and feels that she needs my father in order to get through life and that she won’t find anyone else to take that place. Her inability to commit on grounds of personal commitment, but instead through structural commitment is a great obstacle between them and obstructs them from developing positive communication patterns. In accordance with effort and commitment, sacrifices are essential in relationship maintenance. Sacrifices require personally commitment, where unity is made through mutual fondness rather than selfish commitment. It is the relinquishing of one’s wants consciously out of the desire to satisfy the other person.(GM 149) Putting one’s partner’s needs before your own not only expressed a great devotion, but is a meaningful sentiment that provides assurance. Sacrificing also provides support for one another. The text explains that family relations are strengthened through the mutual

nurturing and support of one another’s needs. By making sacrifices, members can express their mutual feelings of care and fulfill expectations.(GM 161) My unhealthy past relationship made me recognize the importance of respect between partners. Accepting one another through disclosure and other means of communication leads to establishing respect between partners. Having a relationship that incorporates respect serves as a way to form equality and a stable support system. (GM 118) With my ex boyfriend, I did not have much respect for him. He continuously expressed himself as a selfish person. He refused to respect how things made me feel and to adhere accordingly to them. This was reflected clearly through our monological sex relations. I expressed often that he did not care to satisfy my needs and that our sex life was mainly all about him or that doing something I did not like was unfair to him. He refused to adhere to dialogical sex, where shared consideration and both our needs could be fulfilled. This resulted in our sex life halting entirely.(GM 143) Dialogical sex is necessary sexual communication that can influence respect and overall wellness between couples. Relationships are a complicated unification that require members to practice regular maintenance strategies. Being personally committed is essential when striving to sustain relations. Furthermore, this form of commitment requires effort through daily communication and use of couple behaviors. By executing these strategies, members unquestionably develop long lasting and nourishing relationships....