Faith and Tradition in Mother Daughter Relationships PDF

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Exploring Faith and Tradition in Mother Daughter Relationships in the novels Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson and Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel ...

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1 Megan Watson Prof. Hugh Hodges ENGL 1005H 5 December 2014

Faith and Tradition in Mother Daughter Relationships

The novels Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson and Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel display aspects of mother daughter relationships. In the beginning of the novels it is noticeable that the relationships between mother and daughter are weak. As both novels progress the relationships become more dysfunctional. The relationships display aspects of selfishness, narrow-mindedness, lack of understanding and lack of communication. In the novel Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, Jeanette lives her life attempting to please her mother and fit the churches standards. In Like Water for Chocolate, Tita lives her life attempting to please her mother and keep family traditions alive. Jeanette’s mother’s religious beliefs and Mama Elena’s firm beliefs on keeping tradition create barriers in their relationships with their daughters. While trying to find their sense of self, Jeanette and Tita struggle to fit the molds that their mothers and society have created for them. In the novels Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit and Like Water for Chocolate, both Jeanette and Tita have pre-determined roles they must spend their lives living up to. In the novel Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, Jeanette’s mother is a strictly religious woman who sees the world in black and white. There is no room for uncertainty

2 in her world, and people are either friends or enemies. The Catholic/Christian religion places boundaries on the relationship between Jeanette and her mother. Religion controls what they can discuss and how they communicate with each other. The barrier of religion causes lack of understanding and lack of communication, weakening the mother daughter relationship. In the novel Jeanette says, “‘The Lord forgives and forgets,’ the pastor told me. Perhaps the Lord does, but my mother didn’t” (Winterson 109). Jeanette’s mother cannot love her daughter or forgive her mistakes unless she is aspiring to be what her mother wants. Jeanette’s mother adopted her when she was a baby, deciding Jeanette’s entire life for her. Jeanette’s mother did not adopt her out of love or desire for a child, but for God. Jeanette’s mother does not see her as a child or a daughter, but as a missionary of God. Jeanette’s mother constantly tells Jeanette she has been ‘chosen’ and that she is going to ‘change the world.’ In a way, Jeanette’s mother is attempting to re-enact the birth of the child of God. When she decides to adopt Jeanette, she follows a star in the sky to the orphanage, much like the 3 Wise Men following the northern star to Jesus. From the day her mother adopted her she has been forced into a life that she did not choose. Her mother is constraining Jeanette to be something that she is not. Jeanette’s mother controls every aspect of her life. She controls who Jeanette socializes with, where she goes, and how she displays herself. Until forced by the government, her mother does not even allow Jeanette to go to school. Jeanette’s mothers love of God forces her into a life full of religion, not allowing her to grow into who she wants to be. Religion and Jeanette’s mother’s beliefs force her to be what her mother wants her to be, confining her life decisions and choices. Jeanette’s mother’s love of God and strong religious beliefs force Jeanette into a pre-determined life role where she does not have the freedom to be herself.

3 In Like Water for Chocolate, Tita is the youngest daughter born into her family. Her mother gives birth to her in the kitchen, which is where Tita spends almost all of her life. After giving birth to her, Mama Elena passes her off to Nacha, the kitchen cook. Tita grows up learning the ins and outs of her cooking culture. Mama Elena never has the same emotional connection or relationship with Tita as she does her other daughters. The tradition in Tita’s family is the youngest daughter born is never to marry, but instead to live with and serve her mother until the day she dies. Tita soon finds love, which Mama Elena takes away from her. Mama Elena gives Pedro, Tita’s lover, another of her daughters to marry. She tells Tita the tradition is to be carried on and that she will not be married. Tita is confined most of her life to cooking in the kitchen and caring for her mother. After Mama Elena dies, Tita has the right to be married and live the rest of her life. Tita and Pedro still love one another and want to be together. Even after Mama Elena’s death, she continues to haunt Tita, attempting to force her into a life she doesn’t want. In the novel it is said, “Unquestionably, when it came to dividing, dismantling, dismembering, desolating, detaching, dispossessing, destroying or dominating, Mama Elena was a pro” (Esquivel 97). While the novel is referring to her ability to cut watermelon, there is a deeper meaning. Mama Elena’s abilities to do the above are carried over into how she treats others, specifically Tita. Mama Elena’s unhappiness and bitterness stems from her own past, which she cannot let go of. Like Religion in Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, culture and tradition build a barrier between Mama Elena and Tita in the novel Like Water for Chocolate. The lack of understanding in Mama Elena and Tita’s relationship confines Tita to a life of loneliness where she cannot truly be happy or express her love and wants in life. Mama Elena’s bitterness and belief in tradition force

4 Tita into a pre-determined life role where she does not have the freedom to make her own choices. Jeanette lives most of her childhood and early teenage years abiding by her mother’s rules, expectations and her way of life. While Jeanette’s beliefs sometimes differ from her mothers, she does not voice them. Jeanette uses writing as an escape from the world she lives in. With her mother controlling every aspect of her life, Jeanette lacks freedom and the right to express her individuality. Her stories give her a sense of freedom, allowing her to express her feelings, thoughts and beliefs without being judged and without her mother attempting to change any of it. At several points in the novel Jeanette attempts to reach out to her mother and connect with her on an emotional level. Jeanette attempts to confide in her mother more than once about her feelings for Melanie, which she pushes aside. Anything Jeanette believes or expresses that her mother does not agree with she decides is wrong. Instead of accepting her for who she is, her mother’s immediate belief is that anything wrong with Jeanette is the work of the Devil or Demons. Jeanette’s mother is blinded by religion and sees Jeanette as a task rather than a daughter. As Jeanette grows older she begins defying her mother by refusing to repent for things she has done and being in relationships with other girls. In the novel Jeanette says, “In her head she was still queen, but not my queen anymore. Walls protect and walls limit. It is in the nature of walls that they should fall” (Winterson 110). Ultimately Jeanette’s mother cannot cope with the fact that Jeanette is no longer living within the confines she has built around her, and asks her to leave. Jeanette reciprocates her mothers feeling of being disowned. Jeanette has realized she will never be the daughter her

5 mother wants. In the end Jeanette chooses not to live up to the pre-determined role her mother has chosen for her, and lives her life with the freedom to make her own choices. Like Jeanette, Tita ultimately escapes the pre-determined role in life her mother and her family traditions placed on her. Until adulthood Tita obeys her mothers wishes and orders. She watches her sister marry the man she loves, cooks in the kitchen all day and cares for her mother. Tita’s sense of escape is displayed through her cooking and the food she prepares. The emotions she feels are unintentionally put into the food she is preparing, and affects anyone who eats it. Many of the meals and desserts she prepares cause disruption in her family’s way of life. Shortly after Mama Elena’s death, Tita finds letters to her true lover. Mama Elena lived her life in secret, hiding her affair with the man she loved while married to Tita’s father. In the end, she took her bitterness out on Tita by upholding the family tradition. Once Mama Elena dies, Tita should be free to live her life by her own accord and make her own choices, but even in death Mama Elena continues to haunt her. Near the end of the novel Esquivel says, “During the funeral Tita really wept for her mother. Not for her castrating mother who had repressed Tita her entire life, but for the person who had lived a frustrated love” (Esquivel 138). After Mama Elena’s death, Tita sees her mother in a different light. She is able to understand her mother’s pain, and is finally able to relate to her. It is not until Tita stands up for herself that she is truly free of her mother. By showing her sense of self, her own thoughts and her feelings, Tita is able to leave the life of a pre-determined role placed on her by her mother and her culture behind and live her life with freedom and the right to make her own choices.

6 Both Jeanette and Tita went through similar struggles in their lives. Their mothers had strong beliefs that did not allow them to be who they were. Jeanette and Tita lived in secluded environments with uncompromising mothers who controlled every aspect of their lives. Their mother’s pasts with lovers and their life experiences contributed to the forcing of their daughters into pre-determined life roles. As Jeanette and Tita grew older they longed for freedom and individuality, first expressing themselves through writing and cooking, but eventually that outlet was not enough. The pre-determined life roles Jeanette’s mother and Mama Elena attempted to force Jeanette and Tita into could not be lived up to. Through most of their lives Jeanette and Tita attempt to live up to the standards set for them by their mothers, their faith and their culture. Jeanette and Tita eventually end up escaping these expectations, living their lives with the freedom to express themselves, their individuality, their wants and the ability to make their own choices.

7 Works Cited Esquivel, Laura. Like Water for Chocolate: A Novel in Monthly Installments with Recipes, Romances, and Home Remedies. New York: Doubleday, 1992. Print. Winterson, Jeanette. Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit. New York, N.Y.: Atlantic Monthly, 1987. Print....