Infidelity in Military Relationships PDF

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Running head: CHEATING MILITARY SPOUSES

Infidelity in Military Relationships Lauren Carney Eastern Kentucky University

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Abstract The prevalence of impending invariable danger, distance, and stress in military relationships often produces adverse psychological impacts on one or both partners. The purpose of this study was to determine what percentage of individuals involved in military relationships have cheated on their significant other during their relationship. The term relationship can mean any kind of mutually exclusive connection between two individuals, regardless of the status' legal recognition. At least one of the individuals in the relationship must serve/have served in the United States military in order to participate in this survey.

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Infidelity in Military Relationships Introduction A relationship is said to be an intimate connection between two individuals, regarding the other one as their monogamous partner that they prepare to share their life together with. With this definition, a long distance relationship is therefore very similar to any other relationship, with the exception of geographical location. The couple can still communicate often, know that they are safe, and even save up some extra cash to make a weekend trip to see their partner. This led me to wonder if military relationships, (relationships that are long distance and lack all of the benefits a regular LDR has), proposes a test so challenging that there is a correlation between the amount of setbacks from a military relationship and an unfaithful partner. From personal experience, my fiancé (a United States Army soldier) and I have faced many trying times. When your partner is out in the field for weeks at a time doing extensive training exercises and you have no way to contact him, you can't help but think how much easier your life would be if you gave up that relationship and went for something a little more practical and convenient. There are many different kinds of military relationships; different branches, divisions, ranks. Each relationship is unique in its own respects because there is so much variation throughout relationships. A marriage between a Sergeant Major and his wife who live on base together dramatically varies from a college freshman 550 miles away from her PFC boyfriend's base, or a 22-year-old woman engaged to an Airman that is deployed in a combat zone far off in the middle east. Boğda, D., & Şendil, G. (2012) said was proven that infidelity tendency is investigated according to attachment styles and it has been revealed that compared to securely attached individuals, insecurely attached ones has more infidelity tendency. This gave me the notion that the difference between a military relationship and a normal LDR is that having the military factor results in an insecure attachment, and if so, does that lead to infidelity in a military relationship.

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Statement of Hypothesis In this study, I believe there is a direct correlation between the insecurity and dissonance of a military relationship and infidelity in an intimate relationship. This study will prove that 20% of those in military relationships will cheat on their partner. Literature Review London, A., Allen, E. and Wilmoth, J. (2012) proved that veterans are twice as likely as nonveterans to report ever having had extramarital sex (32.17% versus 16.78%) and that this difference persists after controlling for sociodemographic and early-life factors. This research coincides with my prediction that the military produces a life full of stress and solitude, among other very important factors that lead to infidelity. Several different characteristics were further emphasized in the work of Karney, B. R. and Crown, J. S. (2007) including various aspects of both military and civilian lifestyles. These features include the "enduring traits" brought on by the civilian spouse such as personal vulnerabilities that conflict with the duty of the military (combat anxiety, challenging communication, financial stability), as well as complication's from the veteran, such as traumatic war experiences, psychological dissonance, and overall exhaustion from work. Many of these factors highly contribute to the dissolution of a relationship. Sierra, T. A. and Kemp provide research that reports that deployment is one of the biggest strains on a military relationship because of the enormous adjustments both partners must make, and can often lead to infidelity. It is always an individual's choice to accept or reject these consequences to a military relationship. But the choice is made much more difficult for those couples who had been together before the military was ever involved. In a later part of the work of Karney, B. R. and Crown, J. S. (2007) they discuss how these individuals didn't expect or prepare for the daunting tasks ahead of them and had less planning towards how to stabilize their relationship. Cox, J. (2012) provides research for the

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need for couples to communicate because it helps them to create a shared meaning together, which as a result could create feelings of closeness and mutuality. It would be fair to suggest, if couples prepare properly and communicate effectively during the cycle of pre-deployment, smooth transition can be made into the following cycles, reinforcing their current levels of relationship satisfaction and resilience. Methodology Population The population for this study was 57 individuals involved in military relationships, individuals who were indentified through a personal social media website that communicates with only military related couples. With this demographic, I conducted a survey to assess multiple aspects of each individual's relationship, and whether or not they have cheated on their partner/have been cheated on. Of the 57 individuals asked, 9 had admitted to cheating on their partner and 10 had admitted to having been cheated on. 3 (33%) of the ones who had cheated on their partners were female, and 6 (67%) were male. Of the 10 that had been cheated on, 7 (70%) were female, and 3 (30%) were male. Out of the 19 individuals who had unfaithfulness in their relationship, 13 (68%) had also gone through a deployment, the most extreme component particular to a military relationship. Instruments For this study, I used a ten-question survey to assess the individual variances of each relationship and whether or not that individual/their partner has been faithful. I published the survey, Military Infidelity (Carney, 2013), and used a personal social media website (Twitter) to interact with military affiliated couples and ask them to take the survey. My questions were: Q1: What is your gender: Male/Female: I asked this question to determine whether there was a higher rate of infidelity among one gender or the other. Q2: In which branch of the United States military do you serve/have served: Army/Marine

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Corps/Navy/Air force/Coast Guard/I am not in the military, but my partner is: I asked this question to get a general idea of which branch had the highest rate of unfaithfulness. Q3: What branch of the United States military is your partner in: Army/Marine Corps/Navy/Air force/Coast Guard/I am not in the military, but my partner is: I asked this question to include those who are not serving but are in a relationship with someone who is. Q4: Have you/your partner gone through a deployment: Yes/No: This question was asked to see if there was a correlation between the anxiety of deployment and cheating. Q5: Have you ever cheated on your partner: Yes/No: This question was one of the main points of this survey. Q6: Has your partner cheated on you: Yes/No: This question was one of the main points of this survey. Q7: What is your relationship status: In a relationship/Engaged/Married: I asked this question to determine when cheating occurs and if the relationship survived even with infidelity Q8: If you have cheated on your partner, what was the reason: Intoxication/ Lonely/You have fallen for another person geographically convenient (closer to you)/I honestly don't know/Other/I have not cheated: This question helps determine why infidelity occured. Q9: Do you regret cheating on your partner: Yes/No/Indifferent/I did not cheat: I asked this question to better assess why infidelity occurred, as in if the relationship is beginning to dissipate. Q10: What is your age: 15-18/19-21/22-25/26-29/30 or higher: This question was asked to see what age group infidelity occurs the most within. Data Analysis I used percent averages to draw conclusions from the data generated from the survey Military Infidelity. If a greater than 60% response was given, then I accepted that result as a true, accurate indicator.

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Discussion I highly expected there to be some sort of correlation between the military and infidelity in committed relationships. In a normal relationship, Laumann et al. (1994) reports that in a study of 884 men and 1288 women, 25% of men and 15% of women have engaged in adulterous acts at least once during a committed relationship. In my study of only 27 males and 29 females affiliated with the military, 33% reported that there was infidelity in their relationship. In the 9 individuals that had cheated on their partner, 33% of them were female, and 67% were male (particularly ones in the Army). Of the 10 that had been cheated on, 70% were female, and 30% were male. Out of the 19 individuals who had unfaithfulness in their relationship, 13 (68%) had also experienced the hardship of a deployment. of the 56 individuals surveyed, 100% of the males are veterans of the United States military, and .05% of females currently serve/have served. There is clearly a strong indicator that in a military relationship, more males cheat on their partner than females. There were even two male respondents who said that they do not regret cheating on their partner, and another who said they have fallen for another person more geographically convenient to them. It is also evident that there is a very high rate of infidelity in military relationships, compared to Laumann et al. (1994) who's studies showed that 25% of men had cheated, which is very close to my result of 22% of unfaithful males. Sierra, T. A. Kemp's research corresponds to this study because 68% of the relationships involved with infidelity had also suffered through a deployment. Deployments are a significant part of the military lifestyle, and it is proven through multiple studies (such as the work of Riviere, L.A, Merrill, J.C., Thomas, J.L., Wilk, J.E., & Bliese, P.D. (2012), who proved that there was a distinct percentage increase of .08% infidelity in marriages that have gone through a military deployment) that the long stressful journey of a dangerous and tormenting deployment causes infidelity in a relationship.

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Conclusions I chose this topic because I personally am in a military relationship and have always inquired as to whether the military lifestyle has an impact on infidelity in relationships. I have always assumed that the rate of cheating would be higher among military couples because there are so many detrimental factors to this sort of life, like mental stability, responsibility, anxiety, loneliness, etc. It is a widely known fact that very many people in the military eventually lose their strength and give in to cheating on their partner, even though 7 out of 9 (78%) of them regret cheating on their partner afterwards. There are, of course, many flaws with this study. I was only able to ask a maximum of ten questions with my survey, limiting the background knowledge I could obtain from the individuals in the study. It would have also been beneficial to have a much higher number of study participants so that the numbers could be more accurate, as 57 individuals could never be an accurate representative for the approx. 1,800,000 U.S. service members in potential relationships, and that's just an estimate of active duty members, not including previously served veterans. My hypothesis was disproven because more people cheated than I had actually anticipated. By looking at the other, more well-developed, studies included in my research, it is safe to say that there is a slight correlation between the military service and infidelity in a relationship/marriage. There are far more men in the military than females, so it is also safe to say that more men cheat on their partner than females due to the extensive and stressful work that they are put through.

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References Boğda, D., & Şendil, G. (2012). INVESTIGATING INFIDELITY TENDENCY AND CONFLICT MANAGEMENT BASED ON ATTACHMENT STYLES AND GENDER. Electronic Journal Of Social Sciences, 11(40), 205219. Carney, L. (2013). Military infidelity [Online forum comment]. Retrieved from http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/DWBSRXS Cox, J. (2012). Relationship Satisfaction and Resilience: Military Couples and Deployment. Karney, B. R., & Crown, J. S. (2007). Families under stress: an assessment of data, theory, and reseach on marriage and divorce in the military (Vol. 599). Rand Corporation. Laumann, E. O., Gagnon, J. H., Michael, R. T., & Michaels, S. (1994). The social organization of sexuality: Sexual practices in the United States. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. London, A., Allen, E., & Wilmoth, J. (2012). Veteran Status, Extramarital Sex, and Divorce: Findings from the 1992 National Health and Social Life Survey. Journal of Family Issues, 1. Retrieved March 12, 2013, from http://vets.syr.edu/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/ResearchBrief_Lo RIVIERE, L. A., MERRILL, J. C., THOMAS, J. L., WILK, J. E., & BLIESE, P. D. (2012). Marital Functioning in the Army Marital Dissolution Trends and Correlates of Marital Dissolution Intent among US Soldiers following Combat Deployments. Handbook of Counseling Military Couples, 19. Sierra, T. A., & Kemp, H. Strategies for Working with Military Couples....