Generations interview final draft PDF

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interview with my grandfather and girlfriend and how aging has affected their views...

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Introduction I interviewed Cletus Linenberger and Mimi Smith for my generation’s interview project. My relationship with them is are grandfather and his girlfriend. Cletus is aged 85 years and Mimi is aged 70 years. What I had hoped to learn from them is how to be successful and happy throughout life. I also hope to better understand their upbringing. My grandfather values family greatly, as he has two daughters, one son and seven, soon to be eight, granddaughters. Even in his later years of life, Clete prefers to stay active. He is on a senior league softball team and enjoys taking walks around the block after dinner every night. Although he is retired, he still enjoys making money by reselling items in his garage sales as well as making birdhouses. After the death of my grandmother, my grandfather met his now “life-partner” Mimi. Mimi and Clete met during one of their favorite activities: yoga. Mimi is a yoga instructor and continues to teach virtual and private lessons even during the pandemic. They have found it as a great activity to do together to promote bonding and physical activity, despite their age and activity level differences. Through Mimi’s seventy years of life, she has raised two daughters and became a grandmother to a beautiful granddaughter. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her family, discovering new restaurants, helping my grandfather with garage sales, and cooking. Since my grandfather has met Mimi, I have personally noticed a new, youthful spirit to him as now he desires to try new things and go new places; something that he had not previously desired to do. 1. What is the most significant world event you have experienced and why? a. Clete said the most significant world event he experienced was the Vietnam War. After completing High School in Washinton, Kansas, Clete immediately joined the military. He spent his career as a member of the Seabee, which is the

construction division of the Navy. He notes that although the Vietnam War was not the most momentous occasion for the world or even the United States, this was the season of his life that he grew as a person. He met many of his friends that he will have until death, and grew immensely in leadership skills. He deems it as the hardest but most fruitful time in his career and personal development. b. Mimi said the most significant world event she experienced was the Stonewall Riots. She was living in Topeka, Kansas during this time, which for many may seems odd that she deemed this as the most significant world event because she was geographically removed from it. However, Mimi has an LGBTQIA+ sibling, so this was a very personal world event for her. She grew up in a very accepting family, and although she realized not many were welcoming of her family’s values, this was the first time she realized the hatred among a community that her brother belonged to. She said this was a time for her of great realization and fear. From that event on, she realized she had to be vocal about LGBTQIA+ rights and do everything to ensure their safety. c. The most significant world event in my life personally would be the Sandy Hook Shooting. Although this was certainly not the first school shooting, this was the first school shooting that I was exposed to as a child. This opened my eyes to the cruelty of the world as well as the risk that going to school imposed on my safety. I distinctly remember having more “code-red” or active shooter drills as a result of this tragedy. This event has also had a lasting impact on me as well as my generation. My peers have used this event as ammunition in enforcing gun laws and ensuring kids’ safety while they are learning. This event serves a reminder of

my personal duty as an advocate to fight for peace of mind and safety while learning for others as well as myself. 2. How do you define “old”? And when do you think old age begins? a. Clete describes old age as “when you have no other option but to rely on things other than yourself for assistance”. He elaborated on this definition by saying that old age begins when you are unable to physically, emotionally, or financially care for yourself permanently. He went on to say that he understands that some people need help “now-and-again” and that does not define them as old, but old age is when you are unable to provide for yourself long term. He defined “things other than yourself” as family members, government programs, healthcare professionals, nursing homes, or privatized care. Cletus believes that old age begins at a different numerical age for everyone. He used the example of his family: he is eighty-five and does not claim himself as “old” because he is fine to care for himself long term as well as day-to-day activities. His brother on the other hand is eighty and due to health complications can no longer can for himself independently and requires the care of a home health nurse. Therefore his brother would be considered old but he would not. b. Mimi’s definition of old age is a bit less straightforward than my grandfather’s definition is. She says that “old” is a feeling, and that “you just know when you are there. Your feelings and attitudes towards things change, you lose interest in some things but you gain interest for others”. Drawing from her own life, she said she used to love to keep on all the fashion trends and was always so focused on her outward appearance and being “style-savy”. However, in this stage of life,

she no longer cares about fashion trends or what everyone else is doing. She now feels confident in what she likes, and she values comfortability much more than style now. Mimi believes that old age begins at retirement. She noticed from her own life that after retirement is when she noticed a big shift in her values and interests, and figures that many feel similarly when they go through this transition. c. My own definition of “old” is a mix between Mimi’s and my grandfather’s. I think there is a social definition of old, that begins during or after retirement when your role in society changes from being a contributing member to a receiver. However, I think old in individuals should be determined by the person aging. My grandfather is older than his brother chronologically but does not feel “old” even though his brother does. I think that makes sense as old age is a mindset that affects oneself psychologically, physically, and emotionally. If one does not “feel old” then I would not consider them old. 3. What do you like most and least about the aging process? a. Clete’s favorite part of aging is jokingly the senior citizen discounts. “Before COVID, I went to the movies all the time just because I could”, he said with a chuckle. However, after probing a bit, Clete admitted that the best part of aging is to spend more time with family. Because he spent so much time working when my mom and her siblings were little, he had not had time to build relationships with them until retirement. Since ending work, he now has had time to spend with his children, grandchildren, and other family members. On the same end, the worst part about the aging process according to Clete was losing family and

friends. He is no stranger to death, as he spent the majority of his career serving in the military. However, this was expected and there were other friends who were there to support him and go through similar experiences. Now when people die, he says it is difficult because most of the time they were the ones who he normally turned to for comfort. This leaves him feeling lonely and isolated during the grieving process. b. Mimi’s favorite part of the aging process is the increase in free time she has found. She says, “When I was younger I was caring for children and working full-time, I had very little time to do things that I e njoyed”. Since she retired, Mimi has had time to experience and explore new hobbies, her favorite being yoga. Yoga has allowed her to feel confident in herself and her activity levels while tapping into a new community. Even with COVID, Mimi has found ways to connect with the yoga community through Facebook groups and virtually teaching classes. Mimi’s least favorite thing about the aging process is the physical deterioration. “I hate how I find myself taking more medication, going to the doctors more, and moving less”. Mimi has found yoga as a way to combat this. c. My favorite thing about getting older in this stage of life is the increase in freedom. This is the first time in my life that I am responsible for myself and I do not have to consistently get approval from my parents before I engage in activities. My least favorite thing about getting older is the loneliness that comes with independence. This is the first season in my life where I have not had my family physically close to me and I have to make an entirely new set of friends

since coming to college. Although it is exciting to be in a new environment, it is also scary and can be lonely. 4. If you could share one thing with the youth of today what would it be? a. Clete wants the youth of today to know the importance of “taking your time with life”. He says that he valued moving forward quickly to the next stage of life so much more than living in the moment and that is something he regrets. He imparted to me that I should focus on enjoying the simplicity and lack of responsibility that college brings, instead of worrying about the future and wishing away the worry of tests and projects. He says that it is too easy to get stressed about the future, however, we do not have to “borrow the woes of tomorrow”. b. Mimi wants the youth of today to establish themselves before they feed into others. Mimi explains her life as one where she was caring for children and for other people in her community, but she never had a sense of herself and wishes that she developed that early on. She says that you cannot properly care for others when you don’t know how to care for yourself. c. I would tell people my age or slightly younger than me to surround themselves with those different than you. I have found such happiness, joy, and most importantly understanding when I learn from others with different backgrounds, hobbies, and experiences than me. Without these people, I would not be able to grow and relate to those around me. 5. What gives you a sense of meaning and purpose in your life?

a. My Grandfather’s meaning and purpose of life come from his religion. Clete talked about his upbringing in the church and how that gave him a foundation that leads to contentment and belonging. “I am not saying I am a perfect person because of my faith, but it has been a guide to how I should live my life in the best way”. Without his faith, Clete says he would not be as caring and would feel “lost in such a big world”. b. Mimi is different than my grandfather in that she is not religious, but is spiritual. Therefore she has not found her meaning in religion but instead finds meaning in her community. “Those around me make me feel wanted and give me a place in society”. She specifically referenced the yoga community and her family. The yoga community makes her feel like a leader and apart of a worldwide community that all share the same goal. Her family makes her feel loved and “gives [her] life, without them [she] would be nothing”. c. This is a question I am still trying to determine in my stage of life. I have put my meaning and worth in other people and have ended up unhappy and unfulfilled. I have also put my meaning and purpose into school, however that left me feeling not-good-enough and unsuccessful. From what I have seen in those around me, both older and my age, I think I should get meaning and purpose in life from finding what makes me happy and pursuing that, whether that be relationships or hobbies, or passions. 6. What plans do you have for the future? a. In the future, Clete plans to spend more time with family and to hopefully travel. He says, “I love Arkansas, I think it is the prettiest place that God gave us, I

would like to go back some time”. He has another granddaughter on the way and hopes to be able to meet her and care for her. Most importantly, he does not want to waste his remaining time doing things he does not enjoy or like, he says that life goes too quickly to do boring or uncomfortable things. b. Mimi wants to spend her future years with her family and friends. She says, “My goal is to take my granddaughter to Disney, she has never been and it is somewhere every child should visit”. She also mentioned wanting to teach more yoga, cook new recipes, and entertain more family and friends once the pandemic is over. She agreed with my grandfather when he said that he won’t do anything he won’t enjoy anymore because life is too short. c. In the future, my goals are to finish my education and to begin to build a family. I will be mindful to enjoy this season and all the joys that come with college. However, looking at the future I hope to become a nurse and focus on caring for my patients and bettering my career. I also hope to find a life-long partner and build a large and loving family with them. 7. What advice would you give on living a long and happy life? a. To live a long and happy life, Clete says that one must keep perspective on all events. He says that “You cannot get hung up on the little things and let it ruin your day. Because if little things ruin enough days, a whole chapter of your life is ruined”. He says that one must realize that every sad or disappointing moment is fleeting and it will all pass. It is more important to focus on the good and positive in your life and the world around you.

b. Mimi’s advice for a long and happy life is to spend time with those who make you happy. She says that it is important to be around people who “fill your cup” and that makes you laugh no matter how your day was. She says that this is something you should consistently be looking for in relationships and that no one should waste their time with people who do not make you happy. c. My advice for a long and happy life is to find a balance of work and play. I have noticed that adults around me are most happy when they have a good balance between their work life and their home life. My mom is a good example; she is a preschool director and cares deeply about the children she works with but after work is able to enjoy time with her family and doing hobbies and activities that she enjoys. 8. What is your favorite memory when you were my age(college-aged; 18-22)? a. My grandfather’s favorite memory was when he was twenty and he was visiting my grandmother’s family in Los Angeles. After dinner, they snuck off and took a bus to go to the beach. They made it to the beach and spent the majority of the night on the beach laughing and enjoying the warm weather. b. Mimi’s favorite memory was having her first daughter at age twenty-one. She said it was the day her life changed for the better and she finally realized what it meant to love someone. c. My favorite memory in this stage of life occurred this year. My sorority went into quarantine and most members that lived in the house left to quarantine in their homes. However, three other women and I decided to stay in the house, and it was

the most fun I have had in a long time. We spent the next two weeks on our sundeck and watching movies late at night. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Conclusion Through this interview, I realized there are so many similarities in how my grandfather and I have in common. I and my grandfather both enjoy our families, as that is something that my grandfather expressed that he takes great pride in his family and I also value family greatly. We also both find meaning in our religion and faith. Even though my grandfather is Catholic and I am Christain, we both consider our faith very important to our lives and see it as a guide for our lives. Although not fully expressed in this paper, my grandfather was consistently making jokes throughout the interview about aging; he consistently put a positive spin on some somber topics. I think this is something I get from him, as I am constantly joking and making others smiles I also found great differences between my grandfather and I during the conduction of this interview. One of the most profound differences is hearing about his life at my age and comparing it to my life currently. At twenty he was already married to my grandmother and was working in the military. I, on the other hand, live in a sorority house and have very few responsibilities other than school. It makes me appreciate how fortunate I am to be able to receive an education without insane responsibilities. It also allows me to understand my grandfather more. He sometimes makes comments about how “easy I have it” which frustrates me but I realize now the differences we had growing up. Along with the similarities I shared with my grandfather, I also realized I shared many similarities with Mimi. We both value our respective communities. Mimi is very invested in her yoga communities and maintains connections within the yoga community during COVID by being a part of facebook groups and zooming with others who share her passion. I am invested in

my sorority and also use social media to connect to those also in my sorority and apart of greek life as a whole. It is interesting to see how we both used social media and online resources to stay connected to our communities. Even though we had similarities, Mimi and I also had our differences. Like my grandfather, we come from very different backgrounds. She grew up in Topeka, Kansas in a very large family. She did not have the opportunity to go to college because she was already married and wanting to start a family. I on the other hand, grew up in a smaller family that had the resources to support me through college so I could focus on my higher education. This again, makes me feel grateful and lucky to have the current opportunities that I have.

Final Paragraph Going into this interview I thought I knew everything about my grandfather and Mimi. However, I was surprised to hear their advice and to hear about their favorite memories at this stage in life. It allowed me to grow closer to them. I had also not had an opportunity to talk to Mimi in depth before this interview. Considering she is a major part of my grandpa’s life, I am excited that I was able to have this opportunity to get to know her better. Overall, I would say this was a positive experience as I got to know my family on a deeper level and they got to know me....