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KOJIMA NAME GENERATOR  Section 1: Determining How Many Names You Have Kojima often creates characters that have many alternate names, so we must first figure out how many names you will have.  1.

Roll a d6. Use this table to determine how many names you have: 15

You have 1 name.

6

You have 1 name + 6 other alternate names.

 2.

If you rolled a 6, you must do this worksheet 6 more times. You do not need to complete Sections 13 on subsequent name generations. 

Section 2: Personal Information Kojima’s characters have names that are directly related to their own character traits. This information will make sure your name fits your personality.  1.

What is your full name? _______________________________________________________________________

2.

What do you do at your occupation? _______________________________________________________________________ 2a. Condense the verb in your answer into a single er noun. (e.g. if you are a sheep farmer, your answer will be “farmer”) _______________________________________________________________________

1

3.

What was your first pet’s specific species/breed? If you never had a pet, please answer with an animal you wish you owned. _______________________________________________________________________

4.

What’s your most embarrassing childhood memory? Be specific. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 4a. Condense this story into two words. _______________________________________________________________________

5.

What is the object you’d least like to be stabbed by? _______________________________________________________________________

6.

What is something you are good at? (Verb ending in ing) _______________________________________________________________________

7.

How many carrots do you believe you could eat in one sitting, if someone, like, forced you to eat as many carrots as possible? _______________________________________________________________________

8.

What is your greatest intangible fear? (e.g. death, loneliness, fear itself) _______________________________________________________________________

9.

What is your greatest tangible fear? (e.g. horses) _______________________________________________________________________

10.

What is the last thing you did before starting this worksheet? _______________________________________________________________________ 

2

11.

What condition is your body currently in? (single word answer) _______________________________________________________________________

12.

Favorite state of matter? _______________________________________________________________________

13.

A word your name kind of sounds like? (e.g. Brian > Brain) _______________________________________________________________________

14.

What is your Zodiac sign? _______________________________________________________________________

15.

If you had to define your personality in one word, what would it be? _______________________________________________________________________ 

Section 3: Kojima Information Kojima character names reflect his own idiosyncrasies. He can’t help himself.  16.

Who is your favorite film character? (NOTE: must be played by Kurt Russell) _______________________________________________________________________

17.

What is the last word of the title of your favorite Kubrick film? _______________________________________________________________________

18.

What is the first word in the title of your favorite Joy Division album? _______________________________________________________________________

19.

What is a scientific term you picked up from listening to NPR once? _______________________________________________________________________

20.

What is a piece of military hardware you think looks cool even though war is bad? _______________________________________________________________________

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21.

What is something you’d enjoy watching Mads Mikkelsen do? _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 21a. Please condense into one word. _______________________________________________________________________

4

Section 4: Determining Your Name Conditions Sometimes, a character will have a plotbased condition that affects their name. You, too, might have a condition that affects your name. Conditions can stack, so please make note of how many your name has.  1.

THE MAN CONDITION: Roll a d4. Use this table to determine whether you have this condition: 13

You do not have this condition.

4

You have this condition. Your last name will include the suffix man. If your name already has man at the end of it, I guess you’re just going to have manman at the end of your name.

 2.

THE CONDITION CONDITION: Roll a d8. Use this table to determine your what this condition will do to you: 15

You do not have this condition.

6

You’re big. Your name must have “Big” at the beginning of it.

7

You are older than you once were. Your name must have “Old” at the beginning of it.

8

You are how you currently are. Please add your answer from Section 2, Number 11 to the beginning of your name.

 3.

THE CLONE CONDITION: Roll a d12. Use this table to determine if you have this condition: 111

You do not have this condition.

12

You are a clone of someone else, or you have been brainwashed into becoming a mental doppelganger of someone else. Find someone who has completed this worksheet and replace 50% of your Kojima name with 50% of their Kojima name.

5

4.

THE KOJIMA CONDITION: Roll a d100 (or two d10s, using one as the 1s place and the other as the 10s place.) Use this table to determine if you have this condition: 168, You do not have this condition. 70100 69

Oh no. You are Hideo Kojima. Hideo Kojima created you and is also you. You are the man who created himself and there is nothing you can do about it. You’re in Kojima’s world—your world—and that’s just the breaks, pal. Stop this worksheet now. You’re Hideo Kojima. Go do the things that Hideo Kojima does.



Section 5: Determining Your Name Category Kojima names fall into a finite number of categories. This section will determine the category in which you name belongs. NOTE: If you have a name + 6 alternate names, you will do this section once to find your true name, and then you will have an alternate name in every other category.  5.

Roll a d20. Use this table to determine your name category. Once you have figured out your name category, you can skip ahead to the section that outlines the rules of your name: 1

You have a NORMAL NAME (See Section 6)

26

You have an OCCUPATIONAL NAME (See Section 7)

710

You have a HORNY NAME (See Section 8)

1113

You have a THE NAME (See Section 9)

1417

You have a COOL NAME (See Section 10)

1819

You have a VIOLENT NAME (See Section 11)

20

You have a NAME THAT LACKS SUBTEXT (See Section 12)



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Section 6: NORMAL NAME Kojima’s early work includes lots of characters that have names that are widely considered to be “normal.” Was this just because, in the early years, he didn’t have the power to say, “I’m Hideo Kojima, I can name someone DieHardman if I want to” without people questioning him? Probably.  1.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 1 here. This is your full Kojima name: _______________________________________________________________________

2.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4.

3.

That’s your name. Your Kojima name is probably just your actual name. Sorry if you were expecting something wild. Skip to Section 13.

Section 7: OCCUPATIONAL NAME Kojima’s characters tend to be driven by the work that they do. That often carries over to their names. You, too, can be nothing more than your job.  1.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 2a here. This is your last name: _______________________________________________________________________

2.

Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your first name: 1

Your answer to Section 2, Number 15

2

Your answer to Section 2, Number 6

3

Your answer to Section 2, Number 13

4

Your answer to Section 3, Number 16

 3.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4.

4.

That’s your Kojima name. Skip to Section 13.

7

Section 8: HORNY NAME Kojima’s characters and stories are irrevocably horny. Weirdly horny, sure, but horny nonetheless.  1.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 3 here. This is your last name: _______________________________________________________________________

2.

Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your first name: 1

Your answer to Section 2, Number 12.

2

Your first name is “Naked.”

3

Your answer is Section 2, Number 6.

4

Your answer to Section 2, Number 14.

 3.

If you feel like it, your middle name can be “Lickable.” I won’t stop you.

4.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4.

5.

That’s your Kojima name. Skip to Section 13.



Section 9: THE NAME Kojima loves to make people have names that start with the word “The” and they usually symbolize fears or unstoppable forces. You are now that unstoppable force.  1.

Your first name is “The.”

2.

Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your last name: 1

Your answer to Section 2, Number 8

2

Your answer to Section 2, Number 9.

8

3

Your answer is Section 2, Number 4a.

4

Your answer to Section 3, Number 20.

 3.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. If you have any conditions that go at the front of a name, they now go directly after “The.”

4.

That’s your name. Skip to Section 13.

Section 10: COOL NAME Kojima loves to be cool. Sometimes, his idea of cool is a bit strange, but it is always cool to Hideo Kojima, and that’s what matters.  1.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 3, Number 21a here. This is your first name: _______________________________________________________________________

2.

Roll a d6. Use this table to determine your last name: 1

Your answer to Section 3, Number 17.

2

Your answer to Section 3, Number 18.

3

Your answer to Section 3, Number 19.

4

Your answer to Section 2, Number 6.

5

Your answer to Section 2, Number 8.

6

Your answer to Section 2, Number 13.

 3.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4.

4.

That’s your name. Skip to Section 13.

 

9

Section 11: VIOLENT NAME Sometimes, a Kojima name can be very threatening and violent, like Sniper Wolf, or The Fury. Now you can also be threatening and violent.  1.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 5 here. This is your last name: _______________________________________________________________________

2.

Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your last name: 1

Your answer to Section 3, Number 19.

2

Your answer to Section 2, Number 12.

3

Your answer to Section 3, Number 20.

4

Your answer to Section 2, Number 9.

 3.

That’s your name. Skip to Section 13.

Section 12: NAME THAT LACKS SUBTEXT Sometimes, Kojima gives up and just names a character exactly what they are. Congratulations. You are exactly what you do.  5.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 10 here. This is your full name: _______________________________________________________________________

6.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4.

7.

That’s your name. Skip to Section 13.

  

10

Section 13: Explaining Your Name Kojima’s characters know that their names are meaningful, and theywill tell you it completely unprompted. You, too, must explain your name to any potential friends, foes, or shadowy government institutions.  1. Use the following blank to fill in your monologue. Explain your Kojima name to the best of your ability. Feel free to draw from personal experience, friendships you’ve had, or just say some guy on the internet made you fill out an 11page worksheet to gain this name. Here’s a start: Hi, I’m _________________________________________, and if you’re wondering how I got this name, well, let me tell you. I ___________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ 

CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE COMPLETED THE KOJIMA NAME GENERATOR.

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