RELG 451. biblical conceptions on family PDF

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VALLEY VIEW UNIVERSITY COURSE CODE: RELG 451 BIBLICAL AND FAMILY DYNAMICS (GROUP WORK) GROUP 1: BIBLICAL CONCEPTIONS OF THE FAMILY

FAMILY FROM A CHRISTAIN PERSPECTIVE God has used the structure of the family to help us understand authority and His plan in our life. The structure of the family is important to so many other laws, principles and teachings in the Bible. When God created Adam and Eve, he established the basis for the family. That is a man and a woman. God stated at that time the principle that a man and woman would depart from their parents and family unit to begin a new family unit. God instituted the family in Genesis 2:18 when He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” He then formed Eve from a rib of Adam as told in verses 21-24 part of which says, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Then in Ephesians 5:31 God says the same thing in the New Testament. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” Without a man and a woman coming together in marriage, there is no family. God’s desire for the family is that it reproduce and multiply. Genesis 1:27 and 28 say, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” God desires that husbands and wives bring forth offspring. This creates more of the definition God has for a family.

Within the family God has given its members roles and responsibilities. Each person may fill one or more of the following roles. HUSBAND: Ephesians 5:25-28 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” God commands husbands to love their wife as their own flesh. When men do not love their wife as they should, they are going against God’s plan for the father of the family. The Bible says that wives are to submit. However, men loving their wife is not 12 conditional on the wife submitting. Yet it stands to reason that she is more likely to submit if he will love her as he should.

FATHER Ephesians 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” The Bible tells us that fathers are to bring up their children in the teachings of the Lord and to not “provoke them to wrath,” or, badger and shame them until they hate their father. WIFE Ephesians 5:22, 23 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.” Wives are told to submit to their husbands. By them submitting to their husbands they are showing a proper relationship to authority. When they submit to and respect authority, it will help children understand their need to submit to the authority over them.

1 2 Vinay Samuel “transformation” A Christian Perspective on the Family. Vol. 13, No. 3. (1996) Sage Publications. David Peach, “How Does God Define Family” https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-does-god-definefamily/,

MOTHER 1 Timothy 5:14 “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” Titus 2:4, 5 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Young mothers are taught by the older women in the church and in their lives to bear children, love their husbands, guide the home, obey, submit and teach their children. By doing so their children will grow up being taught to honor God’s Word. CHILDREN Exodus 20:12 “Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” Children are to obey and honor their parents. This means that they not only need to obey, but to obey in a respectful way that adds value to the family unit and their parents. While we don’t know exactly how long we are given by God to live, we are told that those who honor their parents will live longer lives than they would if they were disobedient, hateful and disrespectful to their mother and father. SIBLINGS I Timothy 5:1-3 “Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; the elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. Honor widows that are widows indeed.” We are being taught that a family unit behaves with respect towards one another. In the church we are to respect and honor others as we would our own brothers, sisters, parents and extended family. WEST AFRICAN PERSPECTIVE ON FAMILY. Family in the African context often refers to what in western terms would be the extended family. A family is generally constituted by three processes, which are blood relations, sexual unions or adoption. Societally sanctioned sexual unions between (two and in cases of polygamous unions, which are not uncommon in Africa, more than two) adults, and on the other hand, blood relations in Africa typically constitute wider relationship than those

that are characteristically in western nuclear families. African families are typically extended to aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and other relatives that form a family that functions in unison. The broad concepts of family in many African societies is illustrated in Mandela’s autobiography “Long Walk to Freedom” where he states, “My mother presided over three huts at Qunu, which as I remember, were always filled with babies and children of my relations. In fact, I hardly recall any occasion as a child when I was alone. In African culture, the sons and daughters of one’s aunts and uncles are considered brothers and sisters, not cousins.” In several African communities, family is not limited to space and time, thus, it cuts across generations, relatives living far and near, the living and those who have joined the ancestors, as well as the ancestors themselves who continue to play a role in the lives of the living (Lugira, 2009). This may be viewed as a very inclusive family system, which models the broader inclusive nature and type of African communities, creating a family-like lens through which several social actors are included and relationships interpreted. Obligations to wider kin vary with time, and typically more widely invoked during times of crises, or during certain life cycle events such as funerals and this remains a common practice in extended families on the continent, despite social change. For instance, children are highly desired in many African communities and loved, and their presence have far-reaching consequences for social status, respect, quality of life, perception and veneration of an individual – in life and death. Thus, infant mortality and infertility are among the worse tragedies to befall an individual, the family and lineage (Siegel, 1999). Siegel (1999) also notes that lineage in the African family context is not only biological, nor is it always objectively genealogical, but can be sociological as well. This means that lineage and kinship can be edited. People can be inserted, or insert themselves into certain lineages, often symbolically, but in a very meaningful and effective way. In addition, the notion of family often expands and depending on place and context, non-blood relations and other kinds of relationships may assume familial significance and meaning. Families are expanded through marriages, for instance, and it is also not uncommon for a close friendship to mature into ‘family’, or a friend to be named, regarded and treated as family in acknowledgement of length of friendship and felt levels of closeness, trust and reliability. 3 BIBLICAL FOUNDATIONS OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY If we are to take the literal definition of family, it will include all the people related to us by blood. The Biblical definition of family would be “the union of one man and one 3Siegel, B. (1996). Anthropology Publications.http://scholarexchange.furman.edu/ant-publications/3. Minded M. & Chammah J.K (2018). Families and inclusive societies in Africa. http://www.un.org

woman in matrimony which is normally blessed with one or several natural or adopted children”. Today’s marriage has been made to be all about appearances. Who had the best wedding, whose gown was prettier, etc.no more than a contract that can be broken at the slightest hint of trouble or disagreement? A response to social expectations and pressure from family. On the other hand, the Bible has made very clear as to where it stands on the meaning behind marriage and family. Scriptures show us that family is God’s design and that marriage is a divine institution. The importance of this truth is that marriage and family is not something that is open to our interpretations but institutions that should be revered and preserved. “For this reason, marriage is far more that a human-social contract; it is a divinely instituted covenant”. WHAT IS MARRIAGE? Marriage is a divine alliance between man and woman publicly entered into before God and man. The marital bond is normally completed when that man and woman have sexual intercourse. Principle that shape a Godly marriage are 4

1. PERMANENCE OF MARRIAGE: God’s plan for marriage was always for it to be permanent. The solemn promise to one’s marriage partner made before God is not to be taken lightly (Matt 19:6, Mark 10:9) 2. SACREDNESS OF MARRIAGE: Marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman. Even though there have been instances of polygamy in the bible, God’s plan for marriage is monogamy. 3. INTIMACY OF MARRIAGE: Marriage is the most intimate union of all human relationships. The formation of a new partnership as two people leave their families and start one of their own (Gen 2:22)

4. MUTUALITY OF MARRIAGE: Marriage involves two separate persons and as such, selfishness has no place in the relationship. Marriage partners are to give freely of themselves without prioritizing a single person’s needs. This however does not negate the roles to be 4 Vinay Samuel “transformation” A Christian Perspective on the Family. Vol. 13, No. 3. (1996) Sage Publications. David Peach, “How Does God Define Family” https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-does-god-definefamily/,

played by each party; the husband, the provider and the wife, the helper. (Ephesians 5:22-24, Col 3:18) 5. SPRITUALITY OF MARRIAGE: Although a union between flesh, marriage is also a deeply spiritual union. A vow made by man and woman before God. WHAT IS FAMILY? “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” Gen 2:24. This scripture right here sets the precedence for the formation of a new family. The sexual union between man and woman produces children thereby keeping with God’s command in Genesis 1:28 “be fruitful and multiply…” and completing the family. A good example of family would be Christianity; God as the father and believers as his children Right from the beginning when God gave the command to be fruitful and multiply, it was made clear that family was part of Gods plan. He promised in the Old Testament to be their God and the God of their children. The biblical proof of this covenant would be this rite if circumcision. Equality among the family is key to a Godly family. Seeing as we were all made in His image and likeness, it is fair to say that all members of the family have the same rights and share in the responsibility of maintaining the family. While we are all equal, we are not all the same. Talents, personality, spiritual gifts, etc. we were made in His image but not made to be the same. Differences are not tools of division in a family but rather a reminder that we need each other. Freely giving is also important in a family. Might be time, financial needs, educational needs, spiritual needs, emotional needs. Whatever the need be, family should give freely where and when they are able to. This subscribes to the unconditional love shown to us by God himself5

While the Bible preaches love and equal standing in the family, it also recognizes the hierarchy. This does not mean a dictatorship but order; God, father, mother and children. Again 6while there is a chain of command, all within the family still have their rights.

5 Andreas j. Köstenberger “The Bible’s Teaching on Marriage and the Family” (2011) family research council, Pr. Daniel Dei & Pr. Alex Y.A. Briandt-Coker “Bible and Family Dynamics Lecture Notes” (2018) 6 Pr. Daniel Dei & Pr. Alex Y.A. Briandt-Coker “Bible and Family Dynamics Lecture Notes” (2018), Andreas j. Köstenberger “The Bible’s Teaching on Marriage and the Family” (2011) family research council

CHRISTIAN ATTITUDE TOWARDS MARRIAGE AND FAMILY As Christians, God has already set an example of what our attitude towards marriage and family should be. The selfless love, kindness, patience, selfless giving; the fruits of the spirit are what should guide our attitude towards marriage and family. These attitudes are: A SPHERE OF LOVE: Be it marriage or family, love is key. All that God has done for us, he did out of love and so believers should be able to do same. Husband must love his wife and parents must love their children. Marriage cannot and should not be limited to a purely sexual relationship. It is ultimately a partnership that should be cherished for its diversity and individual responsibilities that make it work. Just as Jesus was sacrificed, husbands and wives should be ready to do same for each other. They should also strive to raise their children in the ways of the Lord. Love can be of three types. EROS, AGAPE and PHILIA (in this paper, we will be focusing on Eros and agape). Eros deals with the desire for sexual intimacy while agape deals with selfless, unconditional love. When Eros and agape come together, we achieve a higher form of love. Eros without agape in a relationship is destructive and agape without Eros could lead either party to seek sexual intimacy elsewhere. Therefore, sexuality can only function properly within the institution of marriage. Sexual relations are not to be regarded as just a fulfilment of basic human desire or viewed as just a reproductive process. “It is also deeply embedded in the human dignity of human beings due to their creation in the image of God”

Parenthood consists of loving caring for and teaching the children by their parents. Children should be taught to love God and their fellow man and also generosity, kindness justice, gratitude, humility, integrity, patience, etc.

A SPHERE OF STEWARDSHIP: Christianity has always been loud about the idea of stewardship. Authority shouldn’t result dictatorship but rather service; to your wife, to your children and vice-versa. This is founded in the idea of equality, no one person should regard the service of another as their right but rather seek to reciprocate the actions.

A SPHERE OF SELF-DENIAL: Stewardship only works when it is done with an attitude of self-denial. While various opinions exist on the matter of servitude, as an embodiment of Christ on earth we should learn to submit ourselves to each other. Pride and authoritativeness will only destroy that which you have built. Stewardship is key in maintaining both a happy home and family. A SPHERE OF OBEDIENCE: Obedience to God is the sum total of a Christian’s life. Marriage and family are not left out. In marriage, Gods laws about faithfulness, love, stewardship, etc. are not to be shunned. As a Christian couple, our lives should reflect total obedience to the will of the lord and of course this also extends to the family. God’s commands should not be regarded as suggestions or requests or perhaps a guideline; it is an absolute. Husbands should love their wives and wives should love their husbands. Children should honor their parents and follow instructions given to them. Parents should train their children in the way of the Lord.7

Marriage and family are all part of the Creator’s plan for His people. The bond of marriage should be respected for the divine institution that it is. The vows taken before God should be upheld and not be taken lightly. Christians should endeavor to uphold God’s principles on the subjects of marriage and family; using the Bible as the reference point for all problems we encounter. The Christian attitude towards marriage should be that of love, obedience, stewardship and self-denial. Christians should strive to manifest the fruits of the spirit in both the marriages and families.8

7 Andreas j. Köstenberger “The Bible’s Teaching on Marriage and the Family” (2011) family research council, Pr. Daniel Dei & Pr. Alex Y.A. Briandt-Coker “Bible and Family Dynamics Lecture Notes” (2018) 8 Andreas j. Köstenberger “The Bible’s Teaching on Marriage and the Family” (2011) family research council, Pr. Daniel Dei & Pr. Alex Y.A. Briandt-Coker “Bible and Family Dynamics Lecture Notes” (2018)...