Student-Essays - Grade: 16 PDF

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1) Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree? Answer: It is believed by many that social sites have had adverse ramifications on a person as well as on the community. I totally agree with this assertion. Undoubtedly, social platform has its benefits. Most important of them all is that it provides connectivity to people, especially those who stay at a longer distance. For instance, most of my friends are living in a foreign country. I often use social platforms such as Skype or Facebook to chat and see them at the with a touch of a button. On the other hand, Tthis type of interaction was never possible before the social sites. Nevertheless, the negative impacts social sites have brought far outweigh the benefits. For example, individual who uses a social site more makes his life more sedentary. By using these sites every day, one would gets addicted to their alluring functions and spend most of the time sitting ideal. Before the invention of such sites, I used to spend my leisure time playing outdoor games, but now I mostly stay online on social platforms. This means that I do not exercise and my life has becomes inactive. Furthermore, social sites have also increased the crime rates in the society. Most people upload their photos, on these sites, that can be which are being misused. One of my female friends has found that someone has had stolen her identity and created her fake account on Facebook just to blackmail her for some money. Police were unable to catch the person because he hads malfunctioned modified the IP address of a computer. Therefore, it can be said that social sites have also given birth to the social crimes. In conclusion, social networking platforms are putting substantial negative influences on both an individual and the society. Usage of these platforms would not only make someone lazy, but it also increases the social misdeeds. Full marks for structure. Very well articulated with intro para, first body para taking side of social media, and next two body paras in favour of it's negative impact, and then conclusion. Another big plus is use of examples and personal example. Use of linking words before each paragraph is great as well. Plus, your use of vocab is very high as well which will benefit you, except one word 'malfunctioned' that is used wrongly. Also, your sentences are short and comprehensive, which will greatly benefit you. Things to improve: - Use of has/had is slightly off. When telling a story in the past (your friend's story), use had. It's a solid 7.5 essay. If you avoid mistakes above, it's a 8/8.5 essay

Many people believe that social networking site like Facebook have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. Do what extent do you agree? It is of great concern in society that our general public has been negatively influenced by innumerable social networking websites. Though, this comes with a benefits of being in touch with friends all over the world, but drawbacks relates to the additional screen time, less productivity, low tax collection, and small minimal interaction between family members at home. All these factors make me to agree with the statement. Since the innovation of the latest social networking websites like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter ,; it is more convenient and easy for the masses to be in direct contact with any of their friends or communicate to anyone anywhere inall over the world within. For example, ever since I came back from the United Kingdom, I have nothad never faced any difficulty to be in constant touch with any of my foreign friends. Everyone is just a call away. and wWhat’s even more delightful is the luxury of free calls worldwide through these websites. Nevertheless, the disadvantages of these websites far outweigh the advantages. For instance, current generation is already consuming most of the time on laptops, tablets, and mobile. These websites are distracting youth from their true educational engagements. The latest stats from the department of education show that the children a decade ago were 30% more productive and competent in their content and approach as compared to the students todaythese days. This is one of the leading factors affecting countries'y economic and social growth. Moreover, with free calls worldwide via whatsapp, IMO, Facebook, and Skype, etc. the government is losing a handsome amount of revenue in terms of tax collection from local and foreign calls. If people use landline or mobile for communication all over the world, government can generate enough tax that can be to invested in public welfare projects. For example, in UAE these websites are banned for general public to encourage the usage of landline. Furthermore, it has been observed that there is an increasing level of miss less communication between family members living in the same house. Time families used to spend together while sharing daily routines and experiences isare now being passed on social websites in front of the screen. In conclusion, it is truly worrisome to see our society getting badly impacted by the social networking websites. As a nation, we must focus on our professional growth while spending more time on the productive activities, rather than wasting it to scroll down the screens on websites like Facebook. etc.

Full marks for structure. Very well articulated with intro para, first body para taking side of social media, and next two body paras in favour of it's negative impact, and then conclusion. Use of linking words before each paragraph is great as well. Also, your sentences are short and comprehensive, which will greatly benefit you. I will give it a 7 Band.

To improve: - Though/Although and But don't come together. So when you write a sentence that starts with Although/Though, just write the first part, followed by a comma, and then second part. - Several singular/plural errors that I've corrected. You are losing probably half a band just because of these. - Use the, a, or an, more to make your sentence more coherent. Read out loud to understand where it needs to be. For examples in one sentence 'the disadvantages far outweigh the disadvantages', you used the's really well. Just like in that sentence, use it more often. - Some grammatical errors that I've corrected above. Your biggest error is using extra words. See the words I've cut. It makes it compact and well-written. - Never use etc in essay or speaking. Such list 2-3 things in a solid way. Etc doesn't represent anything. It's informal and slang. Words like 'only' and 'so on' are slang words and not used in essays. When listing things, just like 2-3 things, instead of saying 'A, B, and so on'.

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? With the increased use of social media in the recent years, many people are becoming more concerned about the adverse effect the networking media have has on the individuals and the society. While there are countless of benefits of using social media, like Facebook and Instagram, in my opinion, uncontrolled and excessive use of such media have has its toll on both the individuals and the society. Undoubtedly, the advantages of using social media are many. Firstly, social media have has brought friends and relatives together more than ever before. This is especially true for those who live far away. We can now instantly reach to the dear ones and get and share latest updates of each other , even if we are located in the different continent. Secondly, social media provides a positive platform to share knowledge with each other in the community or in an institution. For example, sStudents can now easily share their notes and ideas with their classmates and even with their teacher using these platforms. However, the disadvantages of social media outweigh the advantages in several ways. Younger generations spends a significant amount of time each day on social networking. To give an example, my 16-year-old niece uploads a minimum of ten pictures every day, and share multiple statuses and moments on the Facebook. This, consequently, has affected her productivity and ledad to a decrease in study time, which in turn ledad to a poorer grade in college. In addition, sharing excessive personal information and moments publicly leads to a breach of an individual's privacy. People with bad intentions can now easily track individuals to do harm. For example, Ssocial networking provides a huge platform for cyberbullying. Young girls committing suicide after experiencing cyberbullying is a common news in the newspapers around the world. To sum up, social networking is an inescapable reality of the modern civilization. Despite significant positive aspects of such media, the disadvantages of the platforms are many and need to be looked for. Individuals, especially younger generation, should always use the networking site in moderation and keep their personal information private as much as possible. This is a rather well structured essay. Full marks for structure and arguments, and linking words and vocabulary. This is a 7-7.5 Band essay, but can easily be made 8+ essay if above corrections are worked upon. - Your has/have are usually off. Always see what is the actual thing that you are going to describe with has/have or is/are. - There are a lot of places where we need to write 'the'.

- I avoid many mistakes by reading my paragraph loud to myself to see how it feels in saying. We make mistakes in writing that we don't in speaking. Reading out loud and listening to it help us catch those mistakes. Many people believe that social networking site like Facebook have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. Do what extent do you agree? As wWe all know that social networking websites, such as Facebook, Whatsapp, and IMO, have become the part of our lives. like Facebook, Whatsapp, Imo etc. I think they have more negative influence on individuals and society as a whole.our public individually and as a whole. On one hand, some people found find these sites as modern technologicaly advancements that provides , an easiest easy way to communicate with others in the outer world. That’s why they are gaining popularity day by day. For instance, today a five- year-sold kid knows well about Facebook or Google. On the other hand, drawbacks of social websites, such as (Facebook,) far outweigh its benefits. Firstly, people are becoming Facebook addicts. This trend is visible in people of all ages. addiction users that actually distract people of all ages. Secondly, misuses of such sites is becominge more common. For exampleTo illustrate this, youngsters are trying to seek real friendships and relations over these sites, here rather than using them for as information tools. point of view. Thirdly, usage of Facebook and other sites for long hours can be considered as is just the wastage of time. Fourthly, instead of having privacy rules, a lot of users are still unaware of setting their personal information. As a consequence, their data remains open and sometimes get hacked. Unfortunately , I have been the victim of it. Lastly, some people use these social networking sites to violate religions, nationalities and personalities. even, Tthus, negatively disturbing the social environment. For example, likewise cartoonish paintings of religious and political persons created a lot of violation on social media last year. To sum up, I think that the use of social websites has have more negative impression on our community, both personally and collectively. It is being a wastage of time and energy, and prevent concentrating our youth from concentration on their tasks and goals.

This essay unfortunately won't get a 7 even. There are several issues with it. The biggest one is structure. 1) For the structure, either use 2 reasons per paragraph and explain them, or use 1 reason and 1 example of it. For example, your last reason is well-explained. But your reason number 1 and 3 are just mere oneliners. Your reason number 2 and 4 are more than one-line but still just mere description. Instead of giving many reasons, explain each reason in more detail with context.

Your paragraph in favour of social media doesn't follow this rule either. You started well by saying that 'it provides easy way of communication' but didn't build upon that point. You should have given an example of how it is solving communication problem rather than getting distraction to children knowing about Facebook. 2) There are a lot of grammatical errors which I've corrected. Do analyse them and learn from them. 3) You will greatly benefit by reducing the sentence sizes. Sometimes one sentence of yours has as much as 3. Try using shorter sentences, and starting new sentences instead of connecting many sentences. 4) I avoid many mistakes by reading my paragraph loud to myself to see how it feels in saying. We make mistakes in writing that we don't in speaking. Reading out loud and listening to it help us catch those mistakes. In your essay, there are several errors in how a sentence is written. Read out loud to yourself to see if the flow seems right. 5) Never use etc. in essay or speaking. Such list 2-3 things in a solid way. Etc. doesn't represent anything. It's informal and slang. Words like 'only' and 'so on' are slang words and not used in essays. When listing things, just like 2-3 things, instead of saying 'A, B, and so on'. 6) Just be aware of your tone. You are not lecturing so don't use words like, 'This WILL make this happen'. Instead say, 'This CAN make this happen'.

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? Socialising online is great fun and a trend these days. It can be beneficial but at the same time, it may prove fatal as well. I partially agree that use of social sites , like Facebook, can adversely impact a person or the community. In On one hand, the networking on social websites helps people to be connected and , know what's happening in one’s world, as it is an easy way of staying in touch with one another. For instance, I met one of my graduation friends on Facebook almost after almost twelve years. I tried all my sources to find him before, but only this helped. On the other hand, this showcases your personal life in front of public or people whom you probably do not know. Some can become jealous or some would and think you are showing off. Additionally, Children children can get addicted and attracted to some of these networking sites. For example, in 2016, 18 children died playing a game called ‘Blue Whale’ on Facebook , which basically motivates and encourages you to do dangerous activities like suicide. Moreover, your personal data and profile can be leaked or processed by an external entity for their own use. There has have been incidents where profile pictures were downloaded and then used unethically. A good illustration on example of this is the latest news of data leak by a company called ‘Cambridge Analytica’ where they which stole Facebook user’s data and sold it to many companies and political parties. In conclusion, one should limit the use of social sites just to browse and connecting to friends rather than divulging their personal information to anyone. Authorities and government should try and regulate the content so that it is not exposed to wider public or business entities. If necessary steps are not taken, then I agree to some extent that this can negatively affect a person or the society.

This is the most well-written essay. A 7.5 band. Even 8 is possible if some mistakes are reduced. - Always 'on one hand' not in one hand. - I think you will greatly benefit by reducing the sentence sizes. Sometimes one sentence of yours has as much as 3 parts that are connected by 'and' 'so' 'as'. Try using shorter sentences, and starting new sentences instead of connecting many sentences. - One more mistake that is common is using words out of order. For example, not 'almost after 12 years'. Instead, 'After almost 12 years'. I avoid these mistakes by reading my paragraph loud to myself to see how it feels in saying. We make mistakes in writing that we don't in speaking. Reading out loud and listening to it help us catch those mistakes.

Many people believe that social networking websites such as FB have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society . To what extent do you agree? These days, Tthere is an ongoing debate between people that whether the usage of different websites is beneficial owing to the changing trends of the society, while others opine or the usage of such applications and websites can be detrimental for to the society. While there are strong arguments on both sides, I personally believe there are more down sides of using the social media. In this essay, I shall discuss both facets of the argument while presenting my point of view. Firstly, what the inception of internet and websites have done, is that it has brought people together. People, especially the elderly, who had lost contact with their mates after schools and colleges can now stay be in contact with each otherthem. A recent research suggests that, almost 60% of the inhabitants of the world have active accounts on Facebook and all such application s , while and 50% of thesem are being active users. Furthermore, Facebook and social media websites are also being could be used as a primary tool for advertisement and media campaigns, providing opportunities to earn livelihood for several people.. However, children these days , spend a lot of their precious time in using these websites. As a result, their studies are badly affected. and Even worse, they no longer take part in outdoor games , or indulge in physical activities. Taking part in extra-curricular activities was once considered a key part in a child’s upbringing. A cousin of mine, who was a very studious student at school lost his focus way in college, and eventually dropped out due to excessive time wasteage on using computer and all such websites. In addition, since the inception of the internet and social media in particular, people prefer to staying in contact with their friends and families on Facebook ,Whatsapp , Twitter and all such websites in general to avoiding social contact. As a consequence, relationship bonding, once considered a pillar of strength is no longer a pivotal part in the society. In my country , during the religious events and festivals, people even prefer to greet one another on Facebook or Whatsapp on religious events and festivities, instead of rather than visiting each other. While there are strong arguments on both sides , I believe usage of the social networking sites should be minimized and it should be used only as a leisure activity, or when one has an ample spare time.

This is in the range of 6.5-7 Band.

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In the last few years, social networking sites are becoming extremely popular among in the people of all ages. Some people think that it has indulged some negative effects on the prospect of individual and social life. In my opinion, productivity and importance of social value are affected severely by the heavy adoption usage of the popular social websites like Facebook. Social networking sites may not have been would not be so popular if they dido not have any positive side attributes. By utilizing their large enormous big network on social media and various facilities, people are easily becoming entrepreneurs. to many new businesses. When those these sites were not available, it was very difficult to bear the expenses of marketing and as a result, new businesses were not created significantly common. But after the introduction of websites introducing the site like fFacebook, it has become is very easier to come up with any new business idea, and introduce thatit in front of ...