Summary - The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Covey PDF

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Summary 7 Habits The 7 Habits of Highly Effective an Overview are what we repeatedly Aristotle defined Habit the intersection of knowledge, skill and desire. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three. Knowledge the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why Ski...

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Summary 7 Habits The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People– an Overview ‘We are what we repeatedly do’ Aristotle

“Habits” defined Habit the intersection of knowledge, skill and desire. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three. Knowledge the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why Skill the how to do. Desire the motivation, the want to do. Effective Habits Internalized principles and patterns of behaviour

The Maturity Continuum Dependence (you) -> independence (I) -> interdependence (We)

Effectiveness Defined The seven habits are habits of effectiveness. Because they are based on principles, they bring the maximum long-term beneficial results possible. True effectiveness a function of 2 things: - what is produced? - the producing asset or capacity to produce P/PC Balance P stands for Production of desired results PC stands for Production Capability. The ability or asset that produces The P/PC Balance is the very essence of effectiveness. It’s validated in every area of life. We can work with it or against it, but it’s there. It’s a lighthouse. It’s the definition and paradigm of effectiveness upon which the Seven Habits in this book are based. Effectiveness lies in balance.

Three kinds of assets Physical a tangible asset Financial money. Our own capacity to earn.

Human relationship balance with others

Organizational PC One of the immensely valuable aspects of any correct principle is that it is valid and applicable in a wide variety of areas. When people fail to respect the P/PC Balance in their use physical assets in organizations, they decrease organizational effectiveness and often leave others with dying geese. PC principle in an organization always treat your employees exactly as you want them to treat your best customers. Effectiveness too much focus on P results in ruined health, worn-out machines, depleted bank accounts, and broken relationships. Effectiveness too much focus on PC is like a person who runes three or four hours a day, bragging about the extra ten years of life it creates, unaware he’s spending them running.

Habit 1: Be Proactive The social mirror largely determined by conditioning and conditions, drawn out of proportion. 3 social maps (thinking that you have no control or influence over you) - Generic determinism your grandparents did it to you. Your DNA - Psychic determinism your parents did it to you. Your upbringing - Environmental determinism Someone (or something) is doing it to you.

Between stimulus and response between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose Human endowments: - self-awareness - imagination - conscience - independent will

“Proactivity” Defined We have to initiative and responsibility to make things happen. We are responsible for our own lives.

Proactive Model Stimulus ->

Freedom to choose - Self- awareness - imagination - Conscience - Independent will

-> response

Reactive opposite of proactive, react to environment instead of acting upon it. Conclusion What matters most is how we respond to what we experience in life.

Taking the Initiative Recognizing our responsibility to make things happen. “Use your R and I” Use your Resourcefulness and initiative. Don’t wait for something to happen or someone to take care of you. Seize initiative to do what is necessary, consistent with correct principles, and get the job done.

Act or Be Acted Upon Listening to Our Language The language of people absolves them of responsibility. I am not responsible, not able to choose my response.

Use Proactive language instead of Reactive Language A serious problem with reactive language is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy

Circle of concern/Circle of Influence Another excellent way to become more self-aware regarding our won degree of proactivity is to look at where we focus our time and energy. Proactive Focus Positive energy enlarges the Circle of influence focus their efforts in the circle of influence Reactive Focus Negative energy reduces the Circle of Influence focus their efforts in the circle of concern

Direct, Indirect, and No Control Direct problems involving our own behaviour solved by working on our habits (Private Victories) Indirect problems involving other people’s behaviour solved by changing our methods of influence (Public victories) No control problems we can do nothing about, such as our past or situational realities. solved solved by acceptance

Expanding the Circle of Influence It is inspiring to realize that in choosing our response to circumstance, we powerfully affect our circumstance. When we change one part of the chemical formula, we change the nature results.

The “Have’s” and the “Be’s” The circle of Concern is filled with the have’s: If only I had a more patient husband…” The Circle of influence is filled with the be’s. Ï can be more patient, be wise, be loving. It’s the character focus Anytime we think the problem is “out there,” that thought is the problem.

The Other End of the Stick Before we totally shift our life focus to our circle of influence, we need to consider two things in our circle of concern that merit deeper thought – consequences and mistakes. While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences. The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it. This literally turns a failure into a success.

Our response to any mistake affects the quality of the next moment. It is important to immediately admit and correct our mistakes so that they have no power over that next moment and we are empowered again.

Making and Keeping Commitments The power to make and keep commitments to ourselves is the essence of developing the basic habits of effectiveness.

Habit 2:

Begin with the End in Mind

What it means to “Begin with the end in Mind” habit 2 applies to many different circumstances and levels of life, the most fundamental application of “begin with the end in mind” is to begin today with the image, picture, or paradigm of the end of you life as your frame of reference or the criterion by which everything else is examined. Work towards that vision.

All things are created twice There is a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation, to all things.

By Design or Default All things are created twice, but not always by our design. Whether we are aware of it or not, whether we are in control of it or not, there is a first creation to every part of our lives. We are either the second creation of our own proactive design, or we are the second creation of other people’s agendas, of circumstances, or of past habits.

Leadership and Management – The Two Creations Leadership is the first creation Management is the second. No management success can compensate for failure in leadership.

Rescripting: Becoming Your Own First Creator Use imagination and conscience In developing our own self-awareness many of us discover ineffective scripts, deeply embedded habits that are totally unworthy of us, totally incongruent with the things we really value in life.

A Personal Mission Statement focuses on what you want to be (character) and to do (contributions and achievements) and on the values or principles upon which being and doing are based. A personal mission statement based on correct principles becomes the same kind of standard for an individual. Once you have that sense of mission, you have the essence of your own proactivity. You have the vision and the values which direct your life. You have the basic direction from, which you set your long- and short-term goals. You have the power of a written constitution based on correct principles, against which every decision concerning the most effective use of your time, your talents, and your energies can be effectively measured.

At the Center In order to write a personal mission statement, we must begin at the very center of our circle of influence, that center composed of our most basic paradigms, the lens though which we see the world. Four interdependent life-support factors of the center of the circle of influence - Wisdom - Security

- Guidance - Power

Alternative Centers - Money - Spouse - Family - Work - Possession - Pleasure - Friend/enemy - Church - Self

Identifying Your Center Look at your life support factors

A Principle Center By centering our lives on correct principles, we create a solid foundation for development of the four life-support factors. By centering our lives on timeless, unchanging principles, we create a fundamental paradigm of effective living. It is the center that puts all other centers in perspective.

Writing and Using a Personal Mission Statement Your mission statement becomes your constitution, the solid expression of your vision and values. It becomes the criterion by which you measure everything else in your life.

Paradigms of Interdependence Effective interdependence can only be built on a foundation of true independence. Private victory proceeds Public victory. Self-mastery and self-discipling are the foundation of good relationships with others.

The Emotional Bank Account a powerful metaphor in describing relationships and in defining the P/PC balance in an interdependent reality. A metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. It’s the feeling of safeness you have with another human being. Deposit: Withdraw:

courtesy, kindness, honesty, etc discourtesy, disrespect, betraying your trust, etc

By depositing you build up a reserve By withdrawing my Emotional Bank Accounts get overdrawn.

Six Major Deposits 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Understanding the individual Attending to the little things Keeping Commitments Clarifying expectations Showing personal integrity Apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal (the laws of love and the laws of life?)

P Problems are PC Opportunities a chance to build the EBA that significantly affect interdepend production

The habits of interdependence With the paradigm of EBA in mind, we’re ready to move into the habits of public victory.

Habit 4:

Think Win-Win

Paradigm It basically means a pattern, a model, a representation, something that stands for something else. It comes from the mental image you have in your mind of the way things are ‘out there’. The images we carry in our heads of the way things are, of reality, come from our own backgrounds, our own experiences.

Six Paradigms of Human Interaction 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Win/Win Win/Lose Lose/Win Lose/Lose Win Win/Win or No Deal

Which Option is the Best? It depends. Football game is Win/Lose for example If you value a relationship and the issue isn’t really that important, you may want to go for Lose/Win Win/Win is best for an interdependent reality

Win/Win or No Deal No deal means that if we can’t find a solution that would benefit us both, we agree to disagree agreeably. Anything less than Win/Win in an interdependent reality is a poor second best that will have impact in the long-term relationship. If you can’t go Win/Win, No-deal is often the way to go.

Character The foundation of Win/Win. Three character traits essential to the Win/Win paradigm: 1. Integrity Say what you mean and mean what you say. You can’t go for a win/win if you don’t know what is harmonious with our innermost values. 2. Maturity the balance between courage and consideration. Consideration for others + courage for yourself 3. Abundance mentality There is enough for everyone, someone doesn’t need to lose for you to win.

Relationships A relationship where the EBA is high is an ideal springboard for Synergy

Habit 5: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood Principles of Empathic Communication We have a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But we often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first.

Character and Communication If you want to influence or interact effectively, you first need to understand. You can’t do that with technique alone. Your character is constantly radiating, communicating. From it, in the long run, a person can come to instinctively trust or distrust you and your efforts.

Empathic Listening Listening with intent to understand. Seek first to understand, to really understand. Empathic listening gets inside another person’s frame of reference. You look out through it, you see the world the way they see the world, you understand their paradigm, you understand how they feel. Don’t project your own experiences upon others, assuming they are going through the same thing. Listen what they have going on. Empathic listening is so powerful because it gives you accurate data to work with. Instead of projecting your own autobiography and assuming thoughts, feelings, motives and interpretation, you’re dealing with the reality inside another person’s head and heart. The risk is that you open yourself up to be influenced as well. Investment in Emotional Bank account

Diagnose before you prescribe Seek first to understand. If you don’t have confidence in the diagnosis, you won’t have confidence in the prescription.

Four autobiographical Responses 1. Evaluate 2. Probe 3. Advise 4. Interpret

agree/disagree ask questions based on our own frame of reference give counsel based on our own experience try to figure people out, explain their motives & behaviour based on our own.

Empathic listening stages 1. Mimic content repeat what they have said, no judgement 2. Rephrase the content put another’s meaning in your own words 3. Reflect Feeling pay attention to what the other feels, not says 4. Rephrase the content and Reflect the feeling: combine step 2/3. As you seek to understand, you help the other with his own thoughts and feelings. As long as the response is logical, you can effectively give counsel. But the moment the response becomes emotional, you need to go back to empathic listening.

Understanding and Perception How do we transcend the limits of our individual perceptions so that we can deeply communicate, so that we can cooperatively deal with the issues and come up with Win/Win situations? Answer is Habit 5.

Then seek to be understood When you someone knows you have personal credibility, empathic side and logic they will understand you more.

One on One Focus on circle of influence.

Habit 6: Synergize The essence of principle-centred leadership and parenting. It catalyses, unifies, and unleashes the greatest powers within people.

Synergy defined the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. The relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself. It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part.

Synergistic Communication open your mind and heart and expressions to new possibilities, new alternatives, new options. You begin with the belief that parties involved will gain more insight, and that the excitement of that mutual learning and insight will create a momentum toward more and more insights, learning, and growth.

Synergy in the Classroom almost as if a group collectively agrees to subordinate old scripts and to write new ones

Synergy in Business Instead of respectful, careful and predictable, be open, authentic and out-thinking.

Synergy and Communication

Trust

High | / Synergetic | / Respectful | / Defensive |/___________ Low Cooperation

(win/win) (compromise) (win/lose or lose/win) High

Fishing for the Third Alternative When there are conflicting opinions, don’t try to go for just one of them or just compromise, use them as the groundwork to find out the root of the problem, the motivations of those involved, and then come up with a solution that satisfies them both. Synergize.

Negative Synergy Sameness is not oneness; uniformity is not unity. Unity, or oneness, is complementariness, not sameness. Sameness is uncreative… and boring. The essence of synergy is to value the differences.

Valuing the Differences The essence of synergy – the mental, emotional, the psychological differences between people. The key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are. (page 290)

Force Field Analysis any current level of performance or being as a state of equilibrium between the driving forces that encourage upward movement and the restraining forces that discourage it. Increasing the driving forces may bring results for a while, but as long as the restraining forces are there, change becomes increasingly harder.

All Nature is Synergistic More of a summary (page 296)...