Time Out vs Sitting Apart W2 P1 PDF

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Summary

What is Time-out? What is Sitting apart? Which is better?
- Jennifer Hooper...

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Time-Out vs Sitting Apart Week Two pt.1

Children Learn What They Live If a child lives with criticism; - He learns to condemn If a child lives with hostility, - He learns to fight If a child lives with ridicule, - He learns to be shy If a child lives with shame, - He learns to feel guilty If a child lives with tolerance, - He learns to be patient If a child lives with encouragement, - He learns confidence If a child lives with praise, - He learns to appreciate If a child lives with fairness, - He lives justice If a child lives with security, - He learns to have faith If a child lives with approval, - He learns to like himself Understanding a bit about children; Linking Development to Problem Solving - Developmental characteristics of young children influence the way in which they problem solve and understand consequences - Need to understand how children experience the world and how their thinking is different than that of an adult Children Are… - Egocentric: They view the world from the standpoint of their own feelings and needs - Concrete Thinkers: They base their understanding of the world on obvious physical characteristics - Limited in verbal skills: It may be challenging to find the words to articulate their emotions and needs

- Physically expressiveness: Children will show frustration and anger by hitting or grabbing - Striving for independence: They want to be able to do things without adult help, we want to make sure that if we are sharing the control with the child we want to give them practice on making choices, finding solutions, expressing their feelings with words and make sure that there will be a result in important new learning for the child - One-thing-at-a-time thinkers: Young children can focus on only one or two attributes or ideas at a time, they might not have the ability to think of more than one or two things at a time - Developing empathy: helping them to develop empathy and self-regulation by modelling as well as supporting a child who might be upset Time out vs Sitting Apart Time out has been traditionally used in the past but trying to show more suitable ways to do this. - Child is told to go somewhere with a time out spot facing a wall and they’re alone with a determined number of minutes. Often parents are told to withhold attention when using a time out - Adult-centered approach - It may provide immediate relief but there is no long-term impact - It doesn’t teach children alternatives or provide long term solutions - Hostile environment, confrontational situation, conflict will increase behaviors that you are trying to eliminate - Can make a child angry and defiant, undermines safety which won’t help build relationships - They need to feel trusted, and safe - Teaches children that it is acceptable to use power to control other people or used as a threat Why Time-Out Is Out In what ways is ‘Time Out’ adult centered? - When they are in time out, the tactic can prevent a behavior in the moment, but it can also make a child feel abandoned or rejected

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- It is vastly popular and preferred to harsher traditional discipline tactics like spanking - There are still better ways, although it is better than physically harming What do children learn when in time out? - Do not actually help children to learn regulate their emotions or moral values from right to wrong - You feel the need to place your child in time out - The child asks when they can come out - The child is running away - When time out is used for the same offence over and over - You feel the need to place your child in time out for everything - Angrier when you struggle to get your child to quiet down to start the timer - Shaming is a toxic effect Sitting Apart (Time In) - Removing a child from a dangerous situation or problem that the child is not yet ready to deal with - The child is respectfully lead to a calming down spot that is going to be near the caregiver so that they can express their feelings - During the time in, parents are encouraged to empathize with the child’s feelings and often just a quiet connection is needed - It doesn’t mean that you have to let the child continue with the behavior, it gives you the opportunity to connect and adjust changes that need to be made - The child is allowed to return to the activity as soon as they have calmed down and has talked about what happened - This includes thinking about problem solving and how to avoid this problem in the future - Children are likely to feel that their needs are being considered and making a connection between correction is presented - Children are given time to process a range of feelings, it will take them time to process the feelings - Parents won’t create a power struggle; it helps you feel more in control and working with the child - Children don’t feel isolated shamed or scared

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Think about it… Is there a difference between ‘time out’ and ‘sitting apart’ with children? - Sitting apart is more child guided - The child learns control - they can join when they are ready, with their emotions etc. - Time out is strict and does not resolve the behavior and in turn can make it worse Think about it… Why we don’t use time out Why we do use sitting apart - They could feel humiliated - Our end goal is not to - Threatened leave the child alone - It could heighten the - We are helping the child behavior calm down - Feelings of neglect and - Talking about feelings rejection - Calming place - We shouldn’t use the feelings of control What is a ‘calming place’? - A calming place is a quiet space in the room where a child can take a moment to breathe and feel safe and secure to express their feelings and emotions - Choose to go to be alone if they are too upset to problem solve - More acknowledgment of feelings - Not shamed or punished - Soothing things /books, glitter bottles, play doh, sensory items/ - Children can choose to learn when they are ready to problem solve - Time for their feelings so they can recover from the strong feelings and decide when they are ready to come back and problem solve Common Uses of Sitting Apart 1. A ‘calm down’ strategy for the child 2. A chance to think about what has happened 3. A chance for the child to think about their plan

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4. Protect the rights and safety of the child and other children from a dangerous situation 5. The educator may need to take a short break to calm down or regain thoughts Guidelines for Sitting Apart - Child must be in sight at all times - When a child is directed to the sitting area spot, it is done in a respectful way *consider the child’s dignity* - The child makes the decision when they are ready to return to the group - If a child attempts to move away from the sitting apart spot with the intention of talking to the other children and/or teacher but they do not appear ready, the teacher directs the child back to the spot and reminds them that once they are calm, they can get up to problem solve - Before returning to the group, the child discusses with the other child and/or teacher about what happened - This includes talking about how the child can resolve the problem and possible how it can be avoided in the future How does this information tie into Time Out and Sitting Apart? - We can see why sitting apart is a much more effective strategy, there is a disconnect between the problem and time out - They learn from experiences, there’s no connection between the action and the consequence or the punishment - They need adults to cognitively and emotionally regulate - They need connection; you want them to learn that they have adult support when they’re struggling - We need to teach strategies to problem solve - Come here vs Go Away

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