Boys will be boys VIP Card PDF

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Mahsa Maadelat Professor Nael Bhanji AJ Vosper WMST-1002H 09 February 2021 “Boys Will Be Boys” VIP Card It will not sound right if I say I have only heard the phrase “Boys will be Boys”, but it will be right if I say I have felt this stereotype with all of my body cells billions of times. I was grown up with only one sibling or in other worlds, only an older brother. And by saying OLDER I don’t mean that he is 30 and I am 18; no, he is 20 and I am 18 − which will be 19 in 4 months. So, despite our relatively insignificant difference in the age, our lifestyle differences are very substantial. The most essential difference between us, which undoubtedly leads to further, bigger and smaller differences, is regarding our genders. For instance, he is allowed or maybe even expected to make mistakes, be aggressive, swear a lot or talk like a boss to everyone because that’s who he is and “Boys will be boys”; it is in his DNA to do all these and no one should be annoyed by that, because he is a boy. Being a boy was just like an excuse for his actions no matter whether they were wrong or right. Masculinity is a lowkey new term for a set of behavaivorses of men: some cliches and behaviours such as that men should always be emotionless and tough. Overall, in my opinion this phrase is nothing but a groundless justification for masculinity.

An aspect of masculinity is that men are thirsty of power, even if they have to achieve it by using violence. In the 2013 documentary called Tough Guise 2, the differences between being a

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human-being and being a person who uses violence to show his manhood has been shown. Also, in Tough Guise 2 documentary, Katz defines the tough guise label as a cover to hide their amenability because they grew up in a culture of masculinity (Tough Guise 2). There were many old resources that demonstrate that violence is in boys/men genes, so it is out of their control; they are boys! BOYS WILL BE BOYS! Teenage boys, especially, are constantly becoming more familiar and more pushed forward to the violence culture, exclusively through technology and media. I believe that boys and girls are born with the same qualities, but the way that they grow up and are taught is based on their own emotions, including the dominance through violence. The development of children − no matter boys or girls − does not have any connection with their mentality or their emotions. These doctrines are very harmful, unhealthy and unwholesome for young generations, and trying to normalize them would injurious society. Tomorrow’s men, who are today's boys, will be yielded to masculinity and become emotionless, molestation, and the most important, they will give credence to the term “Boys will be boys”.

Another aspect of masculinity implies that whatever is not masculine is hideous, and boys are able to insult it by using “Boys will be boys” as a good and reasonable excuse. One of those things that boys insult a lot through history, is LGBT people. Mocking gay people or men who have some feminine qualities, proves the masaculinity of the mockers. “Practices that reflect basic homophobia – imitating same-sex eroticism, calling someone queer or mincing about with limp wrists – are also about policing gendered identities and practices” (Pascoe 145). Also, as Katz in Tough Guise 2 mentioned, boys are law enforcement officers of gender, and they decide which gender is acceptable for whom. Men are taught that anything other than masculinity is not right and, furthermore, calling a straight man gay, would bring all of his manhoodness and

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masclin identity down; but on the other side, mocking and insulting others would increase their power in masculinity. “Boys defend against homophobic teasing and harassment by assuring others of their sexuality” ( Pascoe 148). Boys are allowed to be homophobic and also to comment about it all the time because, as always, they have the VIP card of “Boys will be boys”.

As mentioned before, masculinity does not only affect boys and their lives, but also has massive impacts on women’s lives every day. Women have always been victims of men's masculinity, and they have always been the receivers of men’s harshness; let it be from their spouses or perfect strangers. As a girl, I can explain my own experiences of getting assaulted by a group of guys who got rejected by me pretty friendly, and I am one hundred percent sure that I am not the only one who has experienced these kinds of awful events. These events are all the consequences of the “Boys will be boys” VIP card: a boy should never get rejected, otherwise he is a weak GUY with no power; so he needs to reassert his power as soon as possible by any means. The basis of these problems is the upbringing of boys. Boys are always expected to tease and mock any girl they like, and also have been taught to be always sexually aggressive. In one sentence, boys are not held accountable for their actions, and the why of this matter lies in having the VIP ticket of “Boys will be boys”, so no one should complain.

To sum this all up, no one is born with a characteristic. We all make up our characters and behaviours throughout our lives. Masculinity was never born with any boy; no man is born aggressive, harsh, emotionless, and etc.; they all learn to possess these features. I wish if all these could be taught otherwise: if boys were taught to not be masculinist, not use violence, and not be tough in expressing their emotions, and if they could learn that if they want to be respected, they

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first have to respect; masculinity would have not much fans than it does today. Personally, I am not feminist because I believe that it has no point to do with life − no offence to feminists, by the way. I think that we are all humans before we want to be feminists or masculinists. We have to respect people, no matter what their genders, orientations, preferences are in life. People have some basic rights that have to be respected. “Boys will be boys'' is the VIP card that many masculists give to boys and so they use it as an excuse every time they need, and always claim “VIP! Very Important Person, Boys will be boys”. It is better to teach them that everyone in this world is important, and nothing, especially the gender, can make anyone anymore important or entitled for having more power over the others.

Citation & References: 1. Earp, Jeremy, Jackson Katz, Jason T. Young, Sut Jhally, and David Rabinovitz. Tough Guise 2: Violence, Manhood & American Culture, 2013. 2. Pascoe, C. J. “Guys are just homophobic” Rethinking adolescent homophobia and heterosexuality, Introducing the New Sexuality Studies, edited by Steven Seidman, Nancy L. Fischer, Chet Meeks, 2016, pp. 143-150....