Interpersonal Communication Week one 7:12-7:18 PDF

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Interpersonal Communication Week one 7/12-7/18 What is Interpersonal Communication? We believe that our personal relationships are the most fulfilling, sustaining and. Satisfying things we have or ever will have in our lives. They are what make life worth living. You practice effective interpersonal communication not for the response you get from others, but for yourself You are the only one you can change. There is no right, there is no wrong…. Only different. And, different is okay’ You may not always get ir right, but the magic is in attempt.

Self concept Reflected appraisal Theory ● Asserts that a large part of your self concept is based on messages from others you have heard throughout your life about you. ●

Messages from significant others are particularly influential

Social comparison Theory Asserts that part of your self concept is based on evaluating yourself in terms of how you compare with others. We use “reference groups” who are the people we use to evaluate our own characteristics. How you feel about yourself might have to do with which reference group you are using. Chapter 4 Perceiving others:

Reality is constructed ● First- order realities ● Physically observable qualities of a thing or situatio Second - Order Realities ● Involve our attaching meaning to first- order things or situations ● Second- order realities don’t reside in objects or events but rather in our minds Example: First- order Reality: Your Friend Calls you a “bonehead” Your Second- Order Reality: Your friend is being Critical. Friend’s Second- Order Reality: The remark was an affectionate joke Selection ● We “Select” which data we will attend to. ● How does the following stimuli influence our selections?Intensity Repetition Contrast Motives Emotional state Organization ● ● ● ● ●

Perpetual Chema Physical Constructs Role Cosnturcts Interaction Constructions Psychological Constructs

Punctuation defined: Determination of cause and effects in as series of interactions. Example: Husband and Wife argue Husband perceives wife as a nag Wife complains husband withdraws from her Each Partner’s “punctuation” affects perception of the dispute.

Interpretation: Makes sense of our perceptions ● Considerations: ● Relational Satisfaction ● Expectations ● Personal Experience ● Assumptions about Human Behavior Negotiation: The process by which communicators influence each other’s perceptions through communication

Chapters 1 ● Communication is important because its presence affects health ●

People with strong relationships have significantly lower risks of coronary disease, hyper tension, and obesity than do people with less social integration.

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Divorced, separated, or widowed people are 5 to 10 times more likely to need more hospitalization for mental illnesss

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Some social scientists have argued that besides helping define who we are, communication is the principal way relationships are created.

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Communication is the primary Goal of human existences . Communication is essential in dealing with more practical matters.

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Communications about using messages to generate meanings In early models of communication- simplistic models characterized communication as a one way, linear event— something that a sender does by encoding a message and delivering it to a passive receiver who decodes it.

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Transactional communication is the dynamic process in which communicators create meaning through interaction

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Messages, whether verbal or nonverbal, don’t have messages in

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Problems often arise because communicators occupy different environments ( sometimes called Contexts): fields of expertise that help them make sense of others behavior

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Noise is anything that interferes with the transmission and reception of a message

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Communication scholars use the term channel to describe the medium through which messages are exchanged

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Mediated communication: sending messages via technological channels such s phones, email, and the internet Communication isn’t something we do to others; rather, it is an activity we do with them

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Some communication is clearly deliberate. You probably plan your words carefully before a professional interaction or offering criticism.We unintentionally send many nonverbal messages.

There are Charactheristics of interpersonal communication ● The first is uniqueness- Whereas social rules and rituals govern impersonal exchanges, the nature and history of particular relationships shape interpersonal exchanges ● The second feature is interdependence. Highly interpersonal communication exchanges reveal that the fate of the partners is connected. ● The third feature is self- disclosure. In impersonal exchanges, we reveal little about ourselves; but in interpersonal exchanges, we often share important thoughts and feelings, usually reflecting our comfort with one another ● The fourth feature has to with intrinsic rewards of interaction. Communicators in relationships characterized by impersonal exchanges seek extrinsic rewards— payoffs that have little to do with the people invol Common Misconceptions ● More Communication is not always better ● Communication will not solve all problems ● Not all Communication seeks understanding ● Effective communication is not a natural ability

Cognitive Complexity is the ability to construct a variety of different framworks for viewing an issue ●

The term richness describes the abundance of nonverbal cues that add clarity to a verbal message.Conversely, leanest describes messages that carry lwaa information due to a lack of nonverbal cues.

Hyper personal communication, is accelerating the discussion of personal topics and rational development beyond what normally happens in face to face interaction. ●

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The tendency to transmit messaged without considering their consequencess is called disinhibition. Multimodality: the ability and willingesss to use multiple channels of communication.

Chapters 3 ● We form our self image by the process of costal comparison or evaluating ourselves in comparison with others. ● Reference groups- others against whom we evaluate our own Charactheristics ● Refelcted appraisal: a mirroring of others judgements Self evaluations can be distorted for several reasons ● ● ● ●

Obsolete information Distorted feedback Perfectionism Social expectations

The Self fulfilling prophecy occurs when a persons expectations, make the outcome more likely to occur. ● Holding an expectation for yourself or for others ● Behaving in accordance with that expectation ● The expectation coming to pass ● Reinforcing the original expectation. Impression management— the communication strategies people use to influence how others view them Equivocation are statements that are not literally false but cleverly avoid an unpleasant truth. Chapters 4 First order realities are physically observable qualities of a thing or situation. Second order realities involve our attaching meaning to first order things or situations Perception Process ● Step one: selection- determingin which data we will attend to Several factors cause us to notice some messages while ignoring others: Intensity- is something that is louder, larger, or brighter stands out. Repretition- repetitious stimuli can also attract our attention. Contrast or change. Unchanging people or things are less noticeable ●

Organization or arranging it in some meaningful way to make sense of the world

We use various types of schema to classify others including Physical, Rolebased, Interaction- based, psychological Punctuation to describe the determination of causes and effects in a series of interactions ●

Interpretation is attaching meaning to sense data— plays a role in virtually every intepersonal act. Several factors cause us to interpret a person’s behavior

Relational Satisfaction. A behavior that seems positive when you are happy with a parent might seem completely different when the relationship isn’t satisfying Expectation: if you go Ito a conversation expecting hostile attitude you’re likely to hear a negative tone in the other person’s voice PErsonal expetience: if you have been taken advantage by landlords in the past, you might be skeptical about reclaiming your cleaning deposit. Personality: A study found that people with cold dispositions have difficulty interpreting and labeling the emotions of others. Narratices are the stories we use to describe our personal worlds. Stand point theory to describe how a persons position in society have shapes her or his view Attriubution to describe the process of attaching meaning to behavior. Primary effect: our tendency to pay more attention to, and to better recall, things that happen first in a sequence. The Halo effect describes the tendency to form a overall positive impression of a person on the basis of one positive characteristic The horns effect ( also called the devil or pitchfork effect) occurs when a negative appraisal adversely influences the perceptions that follow. Confirmation bias: we tend to seek out and organize our impressions to support that opinion Fundamental attribution error: the tendency to give more weight to personal qualities than to the situation when making attributes. Self- serving bias means that when we perform poorly, we usually blame external forces Empathy is then ability to recreate another person’s perspectives to experience the world, from his or her own point of view.

Chapter 5 ●

Lsnguage is symbolic: Words are arbitrary symbols that have no meaning in themselves.

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The lignuistic agreements that make communication possible can be codified in rules.

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Phonological rules govern how sounds are combined to form words. For instance thee words champagne, double, and occasion have the same meanings in French and in English but their pronunciations different across the two languages

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Syntactic rules govern the way symbols can be arranged

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Semanticc rules govern the meaning of language as opposed to its structure,

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Pragmatic rules tell us what uses interperations of a a message are appropriate

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Langage is subjective

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Lingusitic relativity— that a language both reflects and shapes the worldview of those who use it

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Convergence is the process of adapting ones speech style to match that of others with them one wants to identify.

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Powerless language: tentative and indirect word choices with hedges and hesitations. Powerful language: direct and forceful word choices: with declaration and assertions Speakers who use powerful speech are rated as more competent, dynamic, and attractive. A Disclaimer is a type of powerless speech that attempts to distance a speaker from remarks that might be unwelcome. Sexist language “includes words, phrases, and expressions that unnecessarily differential between females and males or exclude, trivialize or diminish either sex.

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Racist language reflects a worldview that classifies members of one racial group as superior and others as inferior Ambiguous language consists of words and phrases that have more than one commonly accepted definition Abstraction ladder that shows how we can use a range of specific to abstract terms for describing an object, event or situation. Relative language Gaines meaning by comparison. Relative words such as fast and slow, near and far, and short and long are clearly defined only through comparison. Evaluative language seems to describe something but really announces the speakers attitude towards it IF you approve say: thrifty, traditional, extrovert, cautious, progressive, information, eccentric. IF you disapprove, say cheap, old- fashioned, loudmouth, coward, radical , propaganda, crazy.

Chapter 6 ● Eblems are culturally understood substitutes for verbal expressions. Culture also affects how nonverbal cues are monitored ● Nonverbal regulators are cues that help control verbal interaction. Example: changes o vocal intonation, adrawl on the last syllable or the stressed syllable in a clause, and a drop in vocal pitch or loudness. ○ Nonverbal behavior reflects how a person feels. I Impressionamangement is getting others to view us as we want to be seen. ● Manner refers to the way we act, how we deliberately stand and move, the way we control facial expressions, etc. ● Appearance involves the way we dress, the jewelry or other artifacts we wear, hair, makeup, scents, and so on. ● Setting involves the physical items we surround ourselves with. Kinseics describes the study of how people communicate through bodily movements. Ocuelesics is the study of how the eyes can communicate. Social scientists use the term haptics to distinguish the study of touching. Voice Role in communication:

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Rate: how rapid you read Tempo: emphasis on different words Volume: whisper the first sentence Pitch: how high or low your voice is Accent: regional or international lilt

Paralanguage describes the way a message is spoken. Spatial zones ● Intimate distance begins with skin contact and ranges out to about 18 inches. ●

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Personal distances ranges from 18 inches at its closest point to 4 feet at its farthest Social distances ranges from about 4 to 12 feet. Within this zone, the distance between communicators can have a powerful effect on how we regard and respond to others Public distance is Hall’s term for the farthest zone which runner outward from 12 feet. In farther reaches of public space— 25 feet and beyond, two way communication. Is almost impossible

Territory is a stationary area we claim Monochromic, emphasizing punctuality, schedules and completing one task at a time. Other cultures are more polychromic with flexible schedules in which multiple tasks are pursued. The importance of beauty has been emphasized in the arts for centuries. Clothing is a means of nonverbal communication it is a way for someone to strategically hide problem areas and accentuate assets. It convey a variety of messages to others including ● Economic level ● Education level ● Trustworthiness ● Social position ● Level of sophistication ● Economic background ● Social Background ● Educational Background ● Level of success

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Moral character

Chapter 9

Sometimes we have no choice: Children can’t select their parents, and most workers aren’t able to choose their colleagues. In many other cases, however, we seek out some people and actively avoid others. For instance, physical appearance seems to be the primary basis for attraction for speed daters These first impressions can influence secondary ones. For example, when photos rated as attractive accompany online profiles, raters appraise the profile text more positively similarity thesis, perhaps the strongest determinant of relationship formation is similarity to another person . For example, one study foundthat similar values about politics and religion are the best predictors of mate choice—significantly more than attraction to physical appearance or personality traits The old saying “opposites attract” seems to contra- dict the principle of similarity. In truth, though, both are valid.Differences strengthen a relationship when they are complementary—when each partner’s characteristics satisfy the other’s needs. ocial exchange theory : This approach suggests that we seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with the relationship. Social exchange theorists define rewards as any outcomes we desire. omparison level of alternatives (CLalt). This standard refers to a comparison between the re- wards she receives in her present situation and those she could expect to receive in others (Overall & Sibley, 2008). We like to be around talented people, probably because we hope their skills and abilities will rub off on us. On the other hand, we are uncomfortable around those who are too competent—perhaps because we look bad by comparison.

relational maintenance—aimed at keeping relationships operating smoothly and satisfactorily The goals in the initiating stage are to show that you are interested in making contact and to demonstrate that you are a person worth talking to After making contact with an interesting new person, we generally begin a phase known as experimenting, the search for common ground. We usually start with the basics: “Where are you from? What’s your major?” From there we look for other similarities: When a relationship begins intensifying, communicators increase their amount of contact and the breadth and depth of their self-disclosure. As the relationship strengthens, the individuals enter an integrating stage; they begin to take on an identity as a social unit. Invitations begin to come addressed to a couple. Social circles merge. During the bonding stage, partners make symbolic public gestures to show the world that their rela- tionship exists and that a commitment has been made. differentiating. This transition often shows up in a couple’s pronoun usage. Instead of talking about “our” weekend plans, differentiating con- versations focus on what “I” want to do. Differentiation also can be positive, considering that people need to be individuals as well as part of a relationship. Think, for instance, of young adults who want to forge their own unique lives and identities, even while maintaining their relationships with their families of origin In the circumscribing stage, partners reduce the scope of their contact with each other. The word “circumscribe” comes from the Latin mean- ing “to draw circles around.” Distinctions that emerged in the differentiating stage become more clearly marked and labeled: “my friends” and “your friends”; “my bank account” and “your bank account”; “my room” and “your room.” The stagnating relationship is a shell of its former self. We see stagnation in many workers who have lost enthusiasm for their job yet continue to go through the motions for years. The same sad event occurs for some couples who unenthusiastically have the same conversations, see the same people,

and follow the same routines without any sense of joy or novelty. people in a relationship begin to create distance between each other by avoiding. Sometimes they do it under the guise of excuses ut many do deteriorate and reach the final stage, terminating, which has its own distinguishable pattern (Conlan, 2008). Characteristics of this stage include summary dialogues of where the relationship has gone and the desire to dissociate. Maintaining relationships, then, is about managing these compet- ing goals. Scholars call these struggles dialectical tensions: conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible desires exist simultaneously in a relationship. The conflicting desires for con- nection and independence are embodied in the integration–separation Internally (within a relationship), the struggle shows up in the connection– autonomy dialectic: Social scientists use the term metacommunication to describe messages that refer to other messages (Craig, 2005; Weder, 2008). A helpful model is Robert Sternberg’s (2004) triangular theory of love. He maintains that love has three components: Intimacy: This is the closeness and connectedness one feels in a relationship. Intimacy can be found and expressed in all the relational contexts described in this chapter. Using temperature as an analogy, Sternberg reg...