Interpersonal Communication Final PDF

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Emotional Intelligence ● The ability to recognize feelings, to judge which feelings are appropriate in which situations ● Amygdala: creating the flight-fight response to danger Physiological responses of Emotions ● Response process: we experience emotion when external stimuli cause physiological change in us Perceptual Influences on Emotions ● Perceptual view of emotions (appraisal theory): subjective perception shape what external phenomena means to us Cultural & social Influences on Emotion ● Framing rules: define the emotional meanings of situations ● Feeling rules: tell us what we are expected to feel (deep acting vs. surface acting) ● Emotion work: the effort to generate what we think are appropriate feelings in particular situations ● Interactive view of emotions Function of the Pain Body ● Negative psychic energy ● Eliminate the power of the pain body ○ Become aware of the pain body ○ Do not feed the pain body ○ Use visualizations to disconnect from your pain body ○ Avoid toxic relationships ○ Only you can disempower your pain body Reasons we may not express emotions ● Cultural and social expectations ● Self protection ● Protecting others-impact on intimacy ● Social and professional roles Ineffective emotional expression ● Speaking in generalities Guidelines for communicating emotions effectively Communication Climate ● The overall feeling or emotional need between people Relational Dialects ● Autonomy vs connection ● Novelty vs predictability ● Openness vs closedness Negotiating Dialectical Tension ● Neutralization ● Selection

● Separation ● Reframing Levels of Confirmation and Disconfirmation ● Confirmation feeling known and valid ● Evaluation vs description ● Certainty vs Provisionalism ● Strategy vs Spontaneity ● Control vs Problem Orientation ● Neutrality vs empathy ● Superiority vs equality Keys to effective job interviewing ● Be prepared ● Take cues from the interviewer for when to shut up ● Ask great questions Defining Interpersonal Conflict ● People in relationships have different views ● Conflict is natural; ● Conflict can be expressed overtly or covertly ○ Passive aggressive ○ Games ● Social groups shape the meaning of conflict behavior ● Conflict can be ,managed well or poorly ● Conflict can be good for individuals and relationships Orientations to Conflict ● Avoid (turtle) lose lose ● Compete (lion) win win ● Compromise (zebra) split the difference ● Accommodate give in’(chameleon) ● Collaborate/Problem solve(dolphin) Responses to conflict ● The exit: walk away from the conflict situation ● The neglect: deny or minimize conflict ● The loyalty: stay loyal to a relationship despite differences ● The voice: Unproductive Communication patterns during conflict ● The early stages ● Middle stages ● Later stages Conflict management skills ● Listen mindfully How dolphins resolve conflict ● Go to the balcony ● Disarm the other person ● Change the game

● Make it easy to say yes ● Make it hard to say no Principle Centered negotiation ● Maintain the goal of a wise outcome ● Separate the people from the problem ● Identify interests rather than positions ● Brainstorm solutions ● Develop criteria to evaluate the merit of options ● Select best option or options Guidelines for effective communication during conflict ● Show grace when appropriate: put aside our own needs; let go of anger, blame and judgement; show unearned, unrequired kindness Restorative Justice ● Group conferencing model ○ What happened from the perspective of everyone ○ What need to be done to make amends ● Dialogue circles The nature of friendship ● Willingness to invest ● Acceptance ● Trust ● Support The development of friendship ● Meeting ● Fledgling friendship Friendship deterioration ● Abrupt ending ● Gradual waning ● Serious violation of friendship rules Pressures on friendship[ ● Internal tensions ○ Diverse communication styles ● External pressures ○ Competing demands ○ Personal changes ○ Geographic distance Guidelines for communication between friends ● Engage in dual perspective ● Communicate honestly ● Grow from differences ● Don't sweat the small stuff ● Men form friendships on doing things together ● Women tend to talk more Committed romantic relationships

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Relationships between individuals who assume they will be primary Dimensions of romantic relationships ○ Passion: intense positive feelings ○ Commitment: ○ Intimacy Styles of loving ○ Primary styles of living ■ Eros; passionate & intense ■ Storage: comfortable or even kneeled ■ ludus : playful & fun; not committed ○ Secondary styles of loving ■ Pragma: pratica; ■ Mania: emotional extremes’ ■ Agape: intense passion & constancy Growth ○ Individuality ○ Invitational communication ○ Explorational communication ○ Intensifying communication ○ Revising communication Navigation ○ Relational culture ■ How to deal with dialectal tensions ■ Rules & rituals ○ Placemaking Deterioration ○ Intrapsychic processes ○ Dyadic processes ○ Social support ○ Grave dressing processes ○ Resurrection processes Guidelines for communic...