Positive Effects of Divorce on Children PDF

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Positive Effects of Divorce on Children Research on the effects of divorce in the last few years have been inclined towards the negative side. For instance, the generalized effects of divorce on children have been seen to range from increased depression to drop in academic performance. However, this study aims to prove that divorce has its positive effects on affected children. It is important to note that despite there being positive sides of a divorce, most divorces are rarely friendly. Jeynes (2012) argues that the aftermath of divorces may be positive and beneficial to affected children if the current state of events is abated by a family separation and the past conflicts settled. The children are further likely to benefit since they are no longer exposed to conflicts and violence by their parents. According to Strong & Cohen (2013), parental conflicts before a divorce may force children to take sides thus, a separation is inevitably important to save the children from developing antagonistic attitudes towards each other. Generally, children who tend to positively gain from parental divorce come from families that communicate effectively with each other and with their children before and after a divorce. Similarly, if parents keep their children out of their quarrels during the period that follows the divorce, the children are likely to take the divorce process positively and not exhibit negative effects. Some of the positive effects of a divorce are therefore discussed in the consequent paragraphs. Firstly, divorce in cases where parents were constantly at conflict can be positive for the children. As in, it may help the children avoid developing violent behaviors. For instance, in cases where parents are constantly abusive and violent towards each other a separation by the parents will help the children overcome exposure to disturbing and intolerable violence.

According to Emery (2013) when children are exposed to constant conflict by their parents, they may be affected and in most cases, develop unwanted personalities. This can be attributed to the fact that parents at the verge of divorce rarely have time to care for their children. Secondly, a divorce can bring out the best in children. Most so in cases that involve older children with siblings. This is in light of the fact that after a divorce, the older children will develop a sense a responsibility and thus the need to care and protect the siblings. ho have siblings. Such may happen in the absence of a father figure or vice versa. They do so by showing compassion and kindness to them. The effects of such actions on the persona of the older siblings is positive. That is, they are obliviously molded into mature and responsible adults at earlier years of development. However, Everett (2014) is of the view point that these parenting roles taken by older siblings on the aftermath of parental divorce is mostly common in girls. Strong & Cohen (2013) equally concur that most girls are quite happy to take parenting roles after a divorce process unlike their counterparts (boys). The general positive effect of taking such roles on the aftermath of divorce is that children mature up caring for each other. Thirdly, children of divorced parents are likely to develop valuable interpretation of the aspects of life. Unlike their counterparts who still enjoy the care, support and love from both parents, children of divorced parents are exposed to great tribulations that add important life teachings to their personality. Fine & Harvey (2013) highlight the benefits of such teaching to encompass, a more caring child, helpful and responsible in nature, assertive to the needs of those around them and tolerant when handling sensitive situations of life. Such qualities are developed from experiences of violence and conflicts at home. Thus, in order to avoid experiencing the same detrimental effects of a divorce in future, the children grow up trying to understand and interpret life situations before taking certain steps and actions. For example, when faced with

problems they may ask themselves certain questions such as what would our parents have done? Consequently, they gain practical skills such as problem-solving skills. This further implies that a divorce may be positive to the affected children thus, it is upon the divorced parents to help their children go through the transition. Fourthly, divorce may help the children become more self-sufficient. For example, in situations where a divorce brings forth economic challenges say for a single mother, the children must learn to adapt and become more helpful and responsible (Everett 2013). They consequently have to do house chores in order to ease the burden shouldered on a single parent. Selfsufficiency will come in the sense that when the parent is at work and the children are from the school they can do dinner before the parent comes, they can also do laundry or go for grocery at the local shops. It will help the children develop an identity of independence and consequently help them see this strength as a positive outcome of their parents' separation. Furthermore, children after witnessing a divorce from parents learn that marriage should not be taken for granted. Studies in the recent past have also shown that children form divorced parents develop a holistic understanding of the stakes involved in matrimony. They thus, know that there is the need to fully and conscientiously understand a spouse in order to have a successful marriage. Such lessons come from long term experiences and close of observation of their parents’ marital situation before they finally end up in separation. In sum, they develop the urge to build future marriages that are stronger and happier than the one their parents had. “Children from divorced parents always want to succeed where their parents didn’t.” (Emery 2013 p. 32).

Lastly, divorce also helps affected children become resilient and adaptable to different life situations. Most divorces aside from cheating cases, arise due to change in economic status of one of the spouse. For instance, if a partner loses his/her job, difficulties begin to arise since the family can barely hold on as house bills increase with no means of settling them. The result is constant conflict that end up in courts and lastly in divorce. However, affected children after witnessing such situations develop a sense of resilience and adaptability such that in future they are well prepared to handle situations involving economic hardships and consequently save their marriages. Conclusion Despite most research by academicians portraying the effects of divorces as generally negative towards affected children. This paper clearly proves that the positive sides of a divorce with regard to children abound in equal measures. Even though most divorces are not entirely friendly towards children, the positive effects that come with the aftermath must also be considered. For instance, as discussed in this paper children from divorced families develop good personal attributes such as resilience, adaptability, responsibility and many more. On the flipside, it is imperative that parents going through a divorce avoid exposing children to violence that may in the long run affect their personality.

References Emery, R. E. (2013). Cultural sociology of divorce: an encyclopedia. Los Angeles, SAGE. Fine, M.A. and Harvey, J.H., 2013. Handbook of divorce and relationship dissolution. Psychology Press. Everett, C., 2014. Divorce and the Next Generation: Effects on Young Adults' Patterns of Intimacy and Expectations for Marriage. Routledge. Jeynes, W., 2012. Divorce, family structure, and the academic success of children. Routledge. Strong, B. and Cohen, T.F., 2013. The marriage and family experience: Intimate relationships in a changing society. Cengage Learning....