Radical Candor by Kim Scott - Summary PDF

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Ra Rad dic ica al C Ca and ndo or: Be A Kic ickk-Ass Boss Without Los Losing ing Yo Your ur Humani Humanity ty by Ki Kim m Sc Scot ot ottt Cha Chapte pte pterr 1

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BE BEING ING THE BO BOSS SS IISN SN SN’T ’T EEAS AS ASY. Y. Having personal relationships with those who report to you will impact everything that follows – the culture of your team, their ability to collaborate, and the ability to be radically candid with one another. The “emotional labor” required to be a boss can be exhausting, but it is necessary for the good of your team. It’s not enough to simply be a good manager or a good leader – successful bosses are able to both professionally manage their teams and build strong relationships with the people they manage. Bosses have three areas of responsibility: 1. Guidance: create a culture of guidance (praise and criticism) that will keep everyone moving in the right direction 2. Team-building: understand what motivates each person on your team well enough to avoid burnout or boredom and keep the team cohesive 3. Results: drive results collaboratively If you’re a person who manages people in any size organization, you have to remember you are working with human beings. Because of our humanity, we all have quirks and weaknesses. We are flawed and need constant feedback for growth, and we should also seek it from the teams we lead.

YOU GO GOTT TT TTA A HAV HAVE E TTRU RU RUST ST Before offering feedback, establish a trusting relationship with ea each ch person who reports directly to you . Many people fear getting to know people on a more personal level – they think it’s unprofessional, don’t want to be seen as weak, fear wasting time, or power dynamics get in the way. However,there iiss a virtuous cycle between your responsibilities and your relationships. You strengthen your relationships by learning the best ways to get, give, and encourage guidance; by putting the right people in the right roles on your team team;; and by achi achieving eving results collectively that you coul couldn dn dn’t ’t dream of indi individually. vidually.

AND IF YO YOU U DON’ DON’T T HAVE TRUST TRUST?? When you fail to give people the guidance they need to succeed in their work, or put people into roles they don’t want or aren’t well-sui well-suited ted for, or push people to achieve results they feel aare re unrealistic, you erode trust.

WHA WHAT T IS R RAD AD ADIC IC ICAL AL C CAND AND ANDO OR? There are two dimensions to radical candor: CARE PERSONALLY You have to be your whole self and care about each of the people who work fo forr you as a human being . Caring personally is about doing thin things gs yyou ou already know how to do. It’ It’ss about acknowledging that we are all people with lives and aspirations that extend beyond those rrela ela elated ted to our shared work. It’s about finding time for real conversations; about gett gettin in ingg to know each other at a hum human an level; about learning what’s important to people; about sharing with one another wha whatt makes us want to get out of bed in the morning and go to work – and what has the opposite effect effect..

MYTH: “Keep it professional” – This phrase denies that people should bring their whole selves to work, re all huma human n beings, with human fee feelings, lings, and, even at otherwise, nobody is comfortable at work. We aare work, we need to be seen aass ssu uch. REALITY: “Bring your whole self to work” – even though you’re the boss, it’s okay to show some vulnerability with the people who report to you. Something as simple as admitting you don’t know something can go a long way in creating an environment where others can do the same. MYTH: “Managerial Arrogance” - The boss is better or smarter than the people who work for them. REALITY: The There re are few things more damaging to human relationships than a sense of superiority. Only when you actually care about the wh whole ole person wit with h your whole self can you build a relationship. CHALLENGE DIRECTLY is;; this is sometimes the best way to show people Tell people when their work isn’t good enough, and when it is you care about them. Challenging directly shows your team that you care enough to give them meaningful feedback, and you’re willing to admit when you’ve failed and will work to fix the mistakes. MYTH: Your team should never be mad at you. REALITY: People are going to be mad at you. If nobody is ever mad at you, it’s possible that you aren’t really challenging them enough. Jerry Maguire clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1B1_jQnlFk Radical candor ONLY works if the other person knows your feedback is coming from a place of care for them. Radical candor is NOT: An invi invitation tation to nitpick three ree unimportant things said Only use radical candor when it really matters. A good rule of thumb is toleave th each day .

WHE WHEN N TE TEA AMS TRU TRUSST TTHEI HEI HEIR RB BOSS OSS IF the people who repot to you trust you, they’re more likely to: riticism 1. Accept and act on your praise and ccriticism 2. Tell you what they really think about what you are doing well and, more importantly, not doing so well another her her,, meaning les lesss pus pushin hin hingg the rock up the hill again and 3. Engage in the same behavior with one anot agai again n 4. Embrace their role on the tea team m getting ting results 5. Focus on get

WHY NOT JJUS US UST TP PLLAIN OLD HON HONES ES ESTY? TY? When you Care Personally and Challenge Directly, you’re using candor, recognizing that you may not always have the answers. Honesty and candor both mean that you’re offering your opinions on something, but only There’s re’s not much humility in believing you know the candor implies that you’re open to the opinion of others.The truth, and your team will be grateful for your willingness to talk things through.

YOUR HUMA HUMANITY NITY IS AN ATTR ATTRIBUT IBUT IBUTE, E, NOT A LIABI LIABILITY, LITY, TO BEIN BEING G EFFECTI EFFECTIVE. VE. The source of everything respectable in a man either as an intellectual or as a moral being [is] that his errors are corrigible. He is capable of rectifying his mistakes, by discussion and experience. Not by experience alone. There must be discussion, to show how experience is to be interpreted. -John Stuart Mill

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Sheryl Sandburg told Kim Scott she made a great presentation, but said “um” too many times, and offered to find and pay for a speaking coach for her. Can you think of a time someone who really cared about you offered advice with tangible help? What’s your version of Scott’s “Um” story?

GOOD GU GUIDANCE IDANCE When being radically candid, offer tangible help to show that you truly care and you’re not just being critical. It also shows you’re willing to invest in someone as a member of your team. Being aware of where you fall in the radical candor framework will help you achieve this – you’ll know when you’re failing to care personally or failing to challenge directly. IMPORTANT: The names of the quadrants are BEHAVIORS NOT PERSONALITY TRAITS. Don’t use these to label people because everyone will be in each one of these quadrants at some point – even you.

RADICAL CANDO CANDOR R FRAMEWOR FRAMEWORK K RADICAL CANDOR This is where you want your behavior to be, and it can change your life if you’re listening when others are radically candid with you. It It’s ’s not mea mean. n. IIt’ t’ t’ss cle clear! ar! o Radically Candid Praise: Contextualize praise, make it personal, and be specific or it sounds insincere. Ask others to gauge your guidance (ask for feedback). § Ex. “I admire that you are a Little League coach. You do as good a job integrating your work and life as anyone I know. I always wonder if I’m spending enough time with my kids, and the example you set by coaching helps me do better. Also, the things you’ve learned from the Positive Coaching Alliance have been enormously helpful in our work.” criticize ticize the wins. o Radically Candid Criticism: To keep winning, cri o The secret to winning…is to point ou outt to great players what tthey hey could have done better, even when they have just won a game. Es Espec pec pecial ial ially ly when they have jjust ust won a game. o Be very careful not to slip into Obnoxious aggression… OBNOXIOUS AGGRESSION This is when you outright criticize someone without taking two seconds to show them you care – belittling employees, embarrassing them publicly, or freezing them out. It’s better to be obnoxiously aggressive than ruinously empathetic, though, which explains why assholes get such a leg up in the world – at least you know ncompetent.” where you stand with them. People would rather work for a “competent asshole” than a “nice iin The worst kind of Obnoxious Aggr Aggre ession happens when one person really understands another’s vulnerabilities and then targets them, ei either ther for sport or to assert dominance. front ont ont-stabbing -stabbing ; blaming a person’s internal essence rather than their o Obnoxiously aggressive criticism: fr external behavior for a mistake they made. This is bad because it leaves no room for change – it’s a behavior not a personality trai trait! t! Nobody is a bona fide ass hole all the time time.. And all of us are obnoxiously ag aggress gress gressive ive some of the time.

o Obnoxiously aggressive praise: belittling compliments; Imagine your boss tries to praise you in an email to the entire company, but instead reveals that your compensation is way less than what you should be making, and you learn you’re doing all the dirty work. It’s meant to be a compliment, but it isn’t. MANIPULATIVE INSINCERITY This is taking the easy way out. It’s what happens when you don’t care enough about a person to challenge them directly. If your behavior falls into this quadrant most of the time, you’re probably a little too worried aboutt how people will perceive you, you’re less willing to say about being liked. When you are overly worried abou what needs to be said. o Manipulatively insincere praise: the false apology;When you beha behave ve badly and gget et called out for it, an all all--too natural re response sponse is to become less genuine and more political. DO NOT apologize if you don’t mean it – take time to understand the other person’s thinking, then come up with a solution that addresses both of your concerns. RUINOUS EMPATHY There’s a Russian anecdote about a guy who has to am amputate putate his dog’s tail but loves him so much that he cuts off an inch each day, rather than all at once. Don’t be the kind of boss who’s so scared to hurt people, you only drag out the pain. Ruinous empathy is dangerous because thegoal is to make the person feel better rather than to point out really great work and push for mor more e of it. Your job as a boss is NOT to prevent tension at work – it’s to lean into it, welcome it. Whe When n bosses are to too o invested in everyone ge getting tting along, they also fail to encourage people on their team to criticize one another for fear of sowing disco discord. rd. They create the kind of work environment where “being nice” is prioritized at the expense of critiquing, and therefore, improving actual performance. Ruinous empathy is a two-way street that doesn’t build trust on either side. Your employees don’t know anything is wrong until you have to fire them, and the boss doesn’t know anything is wrong until their employees quit. o Ruinously empathetic praise: “Just trying to say something nice”; Specific praise is just as important as specific criticism. Don’t say it unless you mean it, and really express why it is you mean it.

RADICAL CANDO CANDOR R GAMEPLAN Start by asking for criticism, not by giving it: Don’t dish it out before you show you can take it. o You’re acknowledging that you’re not always right o You’re gonna get a lot of good feedback from your team o You’ll know how it feels (so you’ll be better at giving feedback later) o Your team will trust you When you actively solicit criticism, encourage it at all costs to yourself, and resist the urge to react defensively. If you see someone critic criticizin izin izingg a peer inappropriately, say something. But if somebody criticizes you inappropriately, your job is to listen wit with h the intent to underst understand and the then to reward the candor. Ask like this: “Is there anything I could do or stop doing that would make your lives better?” and then count to six. And then if nobody says anything, count to ten. Reward their candor and act on it as soon as possible, no matter how small the feedback is.

Ba Bala la lan nce pr praaise an and d cr criiti tici ci cism sm sm.. Worry more about praise, less about criticism – but above all be sincere. • It’s important to give people more praise than criticism because it guides people in the right direction and encourages people to keep improving. The notion of a “right” ratio between praise and cri criticis ticis ticism m is dangerous, because iitt can lead you to say things that are unnatural, insincere, or just plain ridiculous. Patronizing or insincere praise like that will erode trust and hurt your relationships just as much as overly harsh criticism. • Get your facts straight: Before you criticize someone, you know you want to get the facts straight. The same goes for praising someone – Ide Ideally ally you’d spend just as long ge getting tting tthe he fac facts ts right for praise as for cri crittic icism ism ism..

Understan Understand d the perilous border betwee between n Obnoxious Aggression and R Radical adical Candor The fundamental attribution error highlights the role of personal traits rather than external causes – remember, it’s ’s crucial to do it very clearly and to arti articulate culate why…and to get it’s not personal. When you offer feedback, it them back on track. Be humble, helpful, offer guidance in person and immediately, praise in public, criticize in private, and don’t personalize personalize.. M Make ake it clear that the problem is not due to some unfixable personali personality ty flaw. Share stories when you’ve bee been n criticized for something similar. People who are m more ore concerned with getting to the right answer than with being right make the best bosses. “I don’t mind being wrong. And I’ll admit that I’m wrong a lot. It doesn’t really matter to me too much. What matters to me is that we do the right thing.” -Steve Jobs

YOU YOUR R FLY IS DOW DOWN N We’ve all been in the situation where we’re not sure if we should tell someone their fly is down or not. What would behavior in each of the four quadrants of the radical candor framework look like?

The next time you spot a metaphorical fly down, imagine where your response falls in this framework. Hopefully this helps you to see more clearly how to both care personally and challenge directly.

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Understan Understand d What Motivates Eac Each h Person on Your Team Helping people take a step in tthe he direction o off their d dreams reams

Ro Rock ck ckssta tars rs vs vs.. Su Sup pers ersttar arss To be a good boss, you have to understand everyone’s life goals and ambitions, as well as how their jobs fit into that. o Rock stars: solid as a rock. The rock stars love their work. They have found their groove. They don’t want the next job if it will take them away from their craft. These are the people you mo most st re rely ly on . If you promote them in into to ro role le less they don’t want or aren’t suited for, however, you’ll lose them – or, even worse, wind up firing them. need ed to be challenged and given new opportunities to grow constantly. o Superstars: ne People in superstar phase are bad at Rockstar roles, and people in Rockstar phase are bad at superstar roles.

Don Don’t ’t fo focus cus on ambit mbition ion ion.. Do Don’t n’t put p per er erman man manen en entt llab ab abels els on pe peopl opl ople. e. Do Don’t n’t bur burn no ou ut you yourr ro rock ck ssttars and bo bore re you yourr ssup up upers ers erstar tar tars. s. Forget what YOU need from people, and get to know what they need! They will be much happier and more successful in their work if they’re doing what they want to do. Start from scratch with your people – don’t let preconceived notions of their disposition get in the way. People change, and you have to, too. No person is an excelle excellent nt performer, they just performed excellently last quarter. Try using the word “growth” instead of “potential” when assessing your team. “What growth trajectory does each person on my team want to be on right now?” or “Have I given everybody opportunities that are in line with what they really want?” or “What growth trajectory do my direct reports believe they are on? Do I agree? And if I don’t, why don’t I?”

Find Ou Outt What Mat Matters ters 1. What motivates each person on your team? 2. What are each person’s long-term ambitions? 3. How do their current circumstances fit into their motivations and life goals? When you begin to understand your team more fully, you’ll see that they’re usually on one of two trajectories (Don’t forget, people don’t stay in the same trajectory forever!): o Steep growth: gene generally rally chara characterized cterized by rrapid apid change – learning new skills or deepening existing ones quickly. It’s not about becoming manager – iit’s t’s abo abou ut having an increased impact over time. o Gradual growth: ch characterized aracterized by stability – steadiness steadiness,, accumulated knowledge, and an attention to detail that someone in a superstar phase migh mightt not have the focus or patience for.

Mo Moti ti tiva va vattion ionss are Hig High hly P Per er erso so sona na nal. l. Your job as a boss is not to provide purpose but instead to gge et to know each of your direct reports well enough to understand how each derives mea meaning ning from their work. Don’t try to come up with a sense of purpose and pound it into everyone’s hea heads. ds. A story about Christopher Wren, the archi architect tect responsible for rebuilding ST. Paul’s Ca Cathedral thedral after the Great Fire of London, explains what I mean. Wren was walking the length of the partially rebuilt cathedral when he asked three bricklayers what tthey hey were do doing. ing. The first bricklayer responded ““I’m I’m working.” The second said, “I’m building a wall.” The third paused, loo looked ked up, and then said, “I’m building a cathedral to the Almighty.”

Be a Partne Partner, r, not a micr microma oma omanager. nager. Don’t ignore the people on your team who are doing great work for those who are struggling. Ta Take ke the time to help the people doing the bes bestt work overcome obstacles and make their good wor workk even better. This is time consuming because iitt rrequires equires that you know enough about the details of the person’s work to understand the nuances. o Help do the work o Challenge people questions tions o Ask a lot of ques Is spending more time with your high achievers a good strategy? Scott argues that moving from great to stunningly great is inspiring, and seeing what truly exceptional performance looks like will help those who are failing to see more clearly what’s expected of them.

Gro Growth wth fra framewo mewo mework. rk. Use this simple framework, but don’t abuse it. Make sure that you’re seeing each person on your team with fresh eyes every day. People evolve, so don’t put people into these boxes and leave them there!

EXCELLENT PERFORMANCE/GRADUAL GROWTH TRAJECTORY Praise, but don’t always promote (think rock stars). o Fair performance ratings o make sure rock stars aren’t getting low performance ratings just because they aren’t gunning for the next big promotion. o Recognition o Designate them as “gurus” or “go-to” experts – generally, p...