Relationship Analysis PDF

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One of the final papers. Was uploaded to Safe Assign through online class. ...

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HLTH 220 6/29/17

Relationship Lifestyle Analysis Paper

After taking the love style test, I was quite surprised by my results. I identified most closely with three love styles, eros, pragma, and agape. All of the scores were extremely close to each other. I found this interesting because it made me reflect on how I used to treat relationships during my earlier years in college. As a freshman, I came into college wanting to let loose and just have fun. I ended up going out almost every night, getting drunk, and finding some random girl at a frat party to hit on. I can’t say I’m proud of this, but that’s how I acted as an immature freshman. During this stage in my life I was a Ludus love type. I would continually meet new girls, get to know them for a little, and then basically move on when I got bored. It was interesting to take this test now and see how much my attitude towards love and relationships has changed as I matured. The love styles eros, pragma, and agape sound very fitting for my personality now. Shortly after my crazy freshman days, I settled down and got a girlfriend who I have been dating now for almost two years. This has been my longest and only real serious relationship. My romantic style, eros, is the drive that I feel to want to make my girlfriend feel special. Often, I like to do subtle things for her as simple as getting her flowers or ice cream when she’s stressed. We like to go on spontaneous hikes and weekend trips together. I also know how strongly attracted I am to her in both a physical and emotional way. My logical style, pragma, sheds light on why I was so attracted to her in the first place. Nicole, my girlfriend, is extremely intelligent. She is the exact kind of girl you would want to take home to meet your parents. She has a good head on her shoulders and

HLTH 220 6/29/17 knows what she wants to do with her life. Overall, Nicole would make a good life partner. Between working with kids and just being overall responsible, she definitely puts me in my place. Lastly, is the selfless, agape, love. Truthfully, at first I was only like this because Nicole’s love style is definitely agape. She constantly puts everyone before herself and does so much for me with nothing expected in return. After seeing how she treats me, I had the internal drive to treat her the same way. I guess overtime I have developed some of these traits on my own and now do acts of kindness just because also. I think the positive aspects of my styles are that I usually have fairly good communication. I do not tend to bottle things up, but rather talk about the problem out loud. Also, I feel as though I make my girlfriend feel loved. She never has to wonder about my feelings for her or if I will be there for her. Loyalty and trust is extremely important in relationships and I think that those qualities go hand in hand with my love styles. The one true negative aspect of my love styles that I would want to change would be that I could be judgmental at times. For example, eros love often stems from strong physical attraction to another person. I will admit, the first time I met my girlfriend the first thing that I noticed was that she was very attractive. I didn’t really get to know her first, I just knew I wanted to be with her. This also explains why my Storge love style was so low. I feel that this may be a negative aspect because in the future, if me and Nicole ever did break up, and I had to start dating again, I may miss out on someone because sometimes I judge people off the bat on their looks. In order to change this bad habit, I think the best route is to just be very open. It is probably healthy to talk to people that I wouldn’t normally think about talking too. Even if it is just as friends, it is important to step outside my comfort zone because there are

HLTH 220 6/29/17 probably some really cool people out there I could meet. The action I think that would be best in order to facilitate change would be to talk to new people at the next social gathering I attend. Once I arrive, rather than going to someone who I know, I can approach someone from a different fraternity or friend group. This way, I can branch out more and expand my friend group. I also want to hold off judgment in my head until I actually get to know them. It is not enough to form an opinion about someone solely on the way they look. Instead, after I talk to them if we have a good conversation where I learn a little bit about them I can start to see if I can see myself being friends with them or not. I think this plan is very reasonable because it is easy to encounter new people often while being at school. In fact, this is probably the prime time to do so. With the amount of diversity at Towson I am bound to meet a lot of different and interesting students. Although it may be difficult to step outside my comfort zone, realistically it is not an extremely challenging goal to meet. I can make this plan happen on my own time as well and when it is convenient for me to go out. This plan is likely to work because once I start meeting new people I think I will want to continue without having to pressure myself to do so. Ideally, I would like to put this plan into action as soon as possible. The summer is a very social time to go out so it is not unreasonable to start now. Also, this way, I can possibly gain some new friends before going into the next school year. I plan to start by slowly working my way talking to at least one new person when I go out with no judgment. Each time I go out I can raise the amount of strangers I encounter.

HLTH 220 6/29/17 I think one of the hardest things about this change is that it will be difficult to measure success. Overall, I think I will be able to determine if I was successful when I graduate school. Since I am going into my senior year I am getting closer and closer to graduating. Once I graduate I will be able to evaluate the relationships I have around me. There are a few possible outcomes that can happen from graduation. It is possible that I stay in close touch with my friends. Unfortunately, it is also possible that those relationships fall apart. My success will be measured when I still have a few good quality relationships with friends and even my girlfriend. If it turns out that those relationships flaked, then I know I have not reached success yet. In summation, I am excited to see what the future holds. With this new mindset it will be interesting to see how my new relationships with people are formed. The hardest part about my change is that I will be stepping out of my comfort zone. It is extremely hard for me to not be quick to judge someone. If I want to change my bad habits I definitely think recognizing the issue and trying to fix the problem is the best solution....