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Ariella Joffe Section 6 Due Thursday June 26 Week 1 Week 1 Class 2 Assignment—Harmony at Home: The Myth of the Model Family Introduction to Chapter 1: “Harmony at Home: The Myth of the Model Family” p. 17-21. Briefly define the Myth of the Model Family in your own words The myth of the model family is what many Americans want for their family lives. Historically, with the rise of democracy and the idea of determining one’s own way in life, the model family is one of equals. The family is united by love and trust leading to a happy home and family life. The model family is one of a set of parents raising their children with the ideas of sharing, equality, happiness, and entitlement. The house in the suburbs, with the white picket fence and dog, makes everyone feel equal, since it is ideal for everyone to have it. It is a middle group of the varieties of families in America. Read “Looking for Work” on p. 22-26. Answer Engaging Test questions p.26 1-3 Engaging the Text 1) The narrator is attracted to the kind of family depicted on TV because it has what he lacks. His father is not home, there are few toys and clothes in his house, and little money for play. In the family on TV, the parents sit with the children together in the morning for breakfast and take their time. The father is a present figure who helps out the house. The mother on TV is calm, quiet, and collected, while his mother and those around him are loud, forceful, and take action. He views the politeness in the TV families as the correct way to an unchallenging life, so he tries to implement those in his own home, such as wearing shoes to the dinner table. What he sees on TV is a more fun life, meaning a life where one doesn’t have as many troubles or worries, such as the ones that his family and his neighborhood have. He wishes for an uncomplicated life. His desires have little impact on his family because they don’t see the same problems that he sees. His older brother has a friend whose life is like that on TV, so he doesn’t have the desire to reach the unapproachable. His sister has different worries, such as joining her brother on his outings and not getting left out. His mother frets less about what is worn to the table and

Ariella Joffe Section 6 Due Thursday June 26 Week 1 more about getting some food on to the table. At this point in his life, Soto wants to be like everyone else in order to feel less left out, and he feels that bring like the “white TV family” will help him be included in what he views to be America. Engaging the Text 2) The narrator first goes to look for work in order to get rich. He feels that if he is rich, he can live with the manners he sees on TV. Nine-year old Soto sees money as the answer to his problems and as a way to uncomplicated his life. However, he chooses to use the money to go to the pool and to help take others. He changes from viewing money as the answer to solving his life’s complexities to a way to make the day better. Work, now, is a way to become happy and to make others happy. He no longer works to imitate the family on TV, but rather to by joyous and merry. Engaging the Text 3) Soto realizes, as an adult, that the reason for his drive to be like the family on TV is the need to feel equal and a sense of belonging. As a nine-year old, Soto wanted to feel like he was a part of the community around him and part of what he viewed as America. He wanted to wear shoes to the table in order to feel like he was doing what the rest of the country was doing. Soto realizes that what his nine-year old self really wanted was to not feel left out and segregated. What he saw on TV was what he thought was the norm and he was being not included in what was standard. Soto had spent the summer watching the television which showed what he wasn’t: “…the television that showed the comfortable lives of white kids. There were no beatings, no rifts in the family…They hurried through the day making friends and gobs of money, returning home to a warmly lit living room, and then dinner” (2425). His family was a “good family” because they loved each other and did the best that they could. As an adult, Soto sees that he had a good and happy childhood with the support he needed, but as a child, he felt like he was left out and didn’t belong. Analyze the story in the context of the myth.

Ariella Joffe Section 6 Due Thursday June 26 Week 1 This entire period of the story came right before the civil rights movement in America. The narrator was feeling what all the people who were segregated were feeling, which was inequality. He was living on the industrial side of Fresno, right next to a junkyard. His area was full of people just like his family, working class people with regular everyday jobs, such as welders and union plumbers. Soto was feeling a sense of inferiority compared to the “white perfect families,” that he saw on TV (22). The ideals of the myth of the modern family, with equality, tenderness, love, and trust, were appealing to him in order to make him feel like he belonged to the culture of America. He saw money as a way to improve his family life and make it similar to that of the model family. The myth of the model family made him believe that living in a world with money and friends gave people happiness. He saw the family on TV as having it all, with toys, parents who were present, and modesty. Soto feels that if he had the model family, his life would be more level with his views of America and happiness. Read “What We Really Miss About the 1950s” p.27-43. Answer Engaging the Test p 43 #1 and Exploring Connections p.43 #5 Engaging the Text 1) According to Coontz, what we really miss about the 1950s is the social agreement between the government, corporations, and the workers. We miss the deferral assistance programs that were more widespread and generous than they are today. We miss the government helping students go to school and veteran benefits. We also miss that one could buy a house with a small portion of their wages and still have money left for other goods. We don’t miss the” discrimination against women, gays, political dissidents, non-Christians, and racial or ethnic minorities” (40). Exploring Connections 5) Within a cultural context, the Donna Reed Show is about a woman who lives at home and raises her children while her husband goes to work. The photo portrays a happy, close nit family in a large home. Everyone is dressed nicely and presentable. Donna Reed’s job is to be a loving wife and mother, as well as a strong figure in her community. The 1950’s built a strong sense of

Ariella Joffe Section 6 Due Thursday June 26 Week 1 neighborly commonalities, with people moving to suburbs and spending their free time joining PTA’s instead of working. The value of a strong family unit still appeals to Americans today, but they also want a strong job environment where they can prove their self worth outside of child rearing and maintaining a household. In Freedom from Want, a large family, with many generations, is sitting down to eat a family meal, depicting the ideal of a family gathering as a way to spend time with those you love. It became important to have the connection with one’s family because there was a belief that a more family friendly social and economic environment would provide an easier climate to raise kids on a straight path and give the family hope for a long-term future (Coontz 29). The ideal of the family meal still appeals to Americans, but only on the big holidays, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, as a time to appreciate what your family means to you. Although, Americans generally don’t tend to desire this type of family connection all year long. Analyze the article in the context of the myth The 1950s was the picture image of the myth of the modern family. It meant a stable marriage, a decent home, and a chance to enjoy ones children. There was a move to the suburbs, which had a strong sense of a neighborhood that help each other. There were fewer complicated choices for the parents and the children, which led to less significant decisions and stress. There was a moral order in the community that served as a reference point for the family norms. Even without a postsecondary school education, people were able to receive jobs that could lead them to becoming part of the middle-class. The myth is the accurate portrayal of the 1950s. However, the women didn’t work and were dependent on their marriage. There wasn’t equality in the household because there was job segregation and an educational gap between the men and women. The ideal of the two parents raising two children in a suburban home was true, but it came with consequences. The entire ideal of the model family is one where everyone is equal in a democratic sense, but that wasn’t the case in the 1950s. The women didn’t work, causing

Ariella Joffe Section 6 Due Thursday June 26 Week 1 them to feel unvalued. The myth was how the families were supposed to live, like on the shows, however it was always the ideal that people were striving for yet never reached. Read “The Color of Family Ties…” p.47-55. Answer Engaging the Test p, 55 # 1, 2 and 4 Engaging the Text 1) Politicians and social commentators term families of blacks and Hispanic/ Latinos are disorganized when referring to them as a family unit that does not contain two married parents in the household. By not having married parents, the family ties are determined weaker and disorganized. In Gerstel and Sarkisian’s view, this label is inaccurate because it doesn’t take into account the extended kin of the single-parent household. Many more white people get married and spend their majority focus on their individual household, giving support financially and emotionally, while blacks and Latinos help more with childcare, living arrangements, and household help. A politician might find the term “disorganized” useful because it puts the blame on them. By deeming the black/Latino population unorganized, one is saying those populations have the ability to organize themselves and chose not to; therefore the politicians don’t have to take the responsibility. If it wasn’t the fault of the people and rather due to their circumstances, then the politicians have to help the people, as is their job. Engaging the Text 2) According to the research done by Gerstel and Sarkisian, social class is more important than ethnicity in how people relate to helping their families. The poor Whites are just as likely to give practical help and visit with their extended families as the poor blacks and Latinos. The middle class blacks and Latinos are just as likely as the middle-class whites to give financial support and emotional help to their relatives in need. Only because Whites tend to have more income and higher education that it seems like their ethnicity treats their families different. This critical distinction shows that minority families don’t lead lives of social isolation or have weak family structures (51). For example, the low marriage rates don’t deal with the ethnicity, but rather with the question of if the woman can depend on her marriage.

Ariella Joffe Section 6 Due Thursday June 26 Week 1 Engaging the Text 4) I disagree with the claim that “social policy should explicitly aim to rectify economic disadvantages” made by Gerstel and Sarkisian. If a person is involved with their extended kin and wish to have them involved with their medical doings and job benefits, the area where the line is drawn gets murky. If a single-mother works and receives benefits, how is it determined if the benefits go to her parents or her siblings. As pointed out in this article, each family views their extended family differently and has a different relationship to them. The reason that the current limits are for a spouse or parent (if a minor) is because it is not possible for all the members of the extended family to make the decision. For example, if it was a medical emergency for the mother, does her sibling, parent, or partner make the necessary decisions? Unless specifically started in their file, that designation should go to the immediate family. Social policy should help to even out the economic disadvantages in a way that allows for all the members to get better jobs and to help themselves. Imagine if the single parent was receiving health benefits for their family from the company at which they work, the company cannot always afford to pay for health care for the immediate family, let alone the entire extended kin. In theory, it might be a good thought, but it is near impossible in practice. Briefly analyze in the context of the myth The concept of the extended family goes against the myth of the model family. This extended kin is becoming a commonality in the world today, as the economic situation is in dire straits. Many people cannot afford to live on their own, so they move back in with their parents. More people are remaining unmarried today, while having children or not. The lower classes are living with the entered kin and not just the nuclear family. Grandparents, parents, and children (three generations) can all be living under one roof. The middle-class and upper-class are more likely to live like the model family, where the parents are living with a few kids in a nice big house, but it isn’t the most common way of living today. There can be one working single-parent as opposed to two working parents. A child raised by a single-

Ariella Joffe Section 6 Due Thursday June 26 Week 1 parent view a relationship differently than a child who was raised by a married couple and gains their “perfect image” differently. A child who grows up in a split house, who grows up without influence from two parents, will lead a very different life in thoughts and attitudes than the child who grew up in a “model family” type setting. The culture of the ethnicities isn’t what is shown in relation to the family, but rather the financial burden of the class structure. A poor person cannot afford to have the values of the myth of the model family, so it is not a common practice for them. Review the Visual Portfolio (p.57-64). Optional Question: Do you have any comments? See questions on p. 65-66 for some guidelines or ideas) All people view a family differently. There are the mythical model family with the two kids and the picket fence, but there are others as well. There are that families that have large dinners and retreats with so many people that one might not know their cousin. There are single parents without support systems. There are gay couples who might adopt children and raise them with the mindset that “you can be whoever you chose to be.” There are mixed families and cultural/spiritual families. Additionally, there are people who chose to forgo family life altogether and live alone, with their work as a companion. Whether a person agrees or disagrees with a family lifestyle, we are all different people and see the world in a different way. Read “Proposition 8: The California Marriage Protection Act” p.67-68 Answer Engaging the Test p. 68 #1 Engaging the Test 1) The title, “California Marriage Protection Act,” is intended to show that the constitution of marriage is only between a man and a woman. Protecting the establishment of marriage would be to vote for proposition 8 which would define marriage as only between a man and woman. Prop 8 opponents would critique this title as saying that marriage is defined as a formal union recognized by law. If marriage is a formal union, then people of the same-sex can get married in order to receive the

Ariella Joffe Section 6 Due Thursday June 26 Week 1 benefits of a couple legally together. A title they might suggest for Prop 8 is “Redefining the Term Marriage in California.” Then the question becomes one of a definition and not of a change in the concept of a union that has been around for hundreds of years. Read “Prop 8 Hurt My Family—Ask Me How” p.69-74. Analyze in the context of the myth The question of the model family came up in 2008 with the passage of proposition 8, which changed the definition of marriage in the California Constitution to between “only a man and a woman.” The passing of Proposition 8 lead to verbal harassment, physical abuse, job loss, etc. to both the LGBT community and their supporters. There is a new ideal about the structure of a family and it is the married same-sex couples. They have followed the model family by having married parents raising children in a suburban town, but differ in the parents being from the same gender. The same-sex couples also see the model family as the ideal and strive for it. They see the children happily growing up in a neighborly town where the obstacles are few and the equality is great. They want to have families filled with love and trust. They feel that they have an “unalienable right” to be able to get married and have it recognized by the law, so that they can strive for the myth of the perfect American family, because after all, America is the land of opportunity and freedom. Read “The Conservative Case for Gay Marriage” p.75-82. Answer Engaging the Text p 82 #1 Engaging the Test 1) This essay by Olson challenges the assumption that all conservatives are against same-sex marriage. Olson, a former member of the Reagan and George W. Bush administrations, is a leading American conservative who supports same-sex marriage. According to Olson, same-sex marriage falls in line with conservative values of marriage as a building block of our nation. It is a bond between two people who want “to create a loving household and a social and economic partnership” (76). The conservative view of the institution of marriage is being celebrated by the LGBT who want to have that

Ariella Joffe Section 6 Due Thursday June 26 Week 1 union. Olson is defining conservative values as the search for equality, which is the founding principle of the country. Since the central dogma of conservatives is that all people should be equal, then people should be allowed to be a part of the same institution of marriage as heterosexual couples. My ideas of being a conservative include equality, but are more strongly related to sticking with the ideas of the past, with some small changes, since history does repeat itself. The world is constantly changing, and therefore we need to be as well, but I believe that conservatives are saying it is better to be traditional than to completely throw out old ideas in favor of new ones without time to adjust. Analyze in the context of the myth Olson is following the myth of the model family. His argument is that the institution of marriage is so sacred and a model, that gays want to share in the institution. He doesn’t see a difference in the parents being a man and woman versus same-sex couples, as long as they live their family life in the same manner. There is no difference, to him, between parents as long as they raise their children right. With all the changes in today’s world, the model family is one that has two parent figures with at least one child. A child gives the parents someone to pass their knowledge, morals, and beliefs onto. Having a loving trustful home to grow up in is the myth of the family. If same-sex couples can raise their children in that type on environment, then they should have the right to have a family in that manner. Write a short paragraph in which you discuss which articles from the chapter so far resonated most and least for you. Did any of them change your thinking? Reinforce your existing opinion? Be as specific as possible. The article that resonated most with me was “What We Really Miss About the 1950s.” I grew up in that type of small community where the father went to work and the mother stayed home and volunteered at the school. It wasn’t a suburban neighborhood, but my entire community lived close to each other. I

Ariella Joffe Section 6 Due Thursday June 26 Week 1 went to religious private schools with the same people in my community, so we were a tight close knit group. We have weekly family dinners and they sometimes include the extended family. My parents taught me that family is the most important things and that one should always make their family a priority, over work. I come from a very traditional househol...