Partnering Concept Paper PDF

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Partnering Concept Paper...

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Heather Holtrop HDFS 2322 Section 001

Responsiveness, Relational/Companionable Attractiveness, SVR Model, Social Exchange Theory, Growth Dependency/Continuous Maintenance

The first important concept for intimate relationship success is responsiveness. Responsiveness refers to being responsive and attentive to your partner’s needs (Miller, 2015, p. 2, par. 7). Being responsive helps to increase intimacy between partners and this is important because intimacy is what helps couples to grow closer and see themselves as a couple as opposed to two separate individuals (Miller, 2015, p. 3, par. 2). Believing that your partner recognizes, understands and supports your needs is also very important for relationship satisfaction (Miller, 2015, p. 3, par. 1). In a study, researchers sought to examine the intimacy-desire linkage (Birnbaum, Reis, Mizrahi, Kanat-Maymon, Sass, & Granovski-Milner, 2016, p. 5, par. 1). This link is important because “perceived partner responsiveness is inherent to the development of intimacy in sexual contexts, in which people seek understanding, validation, and caring” (Birnbaum, Reis, Mizrahi, Kanat-Maymon, Sass, & Granovski-Milner, 2016, p. 5, par. 1). From this research, we can understand that not only is responsiveness important for intimacy development, but it is also an important component for sexual desire and passion between partners. A couple that is very responsive to each other’s needs will feel that their partner sincerely cares about them, is concerned about their needs and thinks they are special and a priority. Couples can demonstrate responsiveness by being concerned about and acknowledging their partner’s well-being and feelings. One example of responsiveness could be talking to your partner after they had a bad day and acknowledging their problems. Having a partner who is not responsive to your needs can lead you to feel not important and like you are not a priority to them. Another

important

concept

for

intimate

relationships

is

having

a

relational/companionable type of attraction. This form of attraction is concerned with there being a connection between partners, the idea of there being perceived characteristics about another

person which are appealing and interesting (Miller, 2015, p.69, par. 3). A specific form of this type of attraction is similarity, as in liking people who are like us (Miller, 2015, p.91, par. 4). Being similar can mean being similar in many different areas such as age, race, education and social class (Miller, 2015, p.92, par. 2). According to Miller, “there is a straightforward link between the proportion of the attitudes two people share and their attraction to each other” (Miller, 2015, p. 92, par. 3). From this we can see that similarity is very important for the development and progression of intimate relationships because people feel more connected when they share similarities. This will also allow partners to further and intensify their relationship. From a study that focused on trait and goal similarities, it was found that trait similarity was a strong predictor for female relationship satisfaction, meaning women were more satisfied with their relationship when they had similar personality traits with their partner (Gray, & Coons, 2017, p.3, col. 2, par. 4). This is significant because couples that have a lot of similarity will be able to easily find activities to do together since they probably enjoy doing the same type of things. On the other hand, couples that aren’t very similar may have a hard time finding things that both partners will enjoy doing and things they both want to talk about. Not having very many things in common with your partner could also possibly led to more arguments and disagreements so it is important to find a relationship partner that you can connect with and find common interests with. The SVR Model provides important concepts for relationship success. This model is concerned with the three different types of information we can learn about our partners when we are forming a new relationship (Miller, 2015, p. 95, par. 2). “S” refers to stimulus, the characteristics such as sex and age of a partner that first capture your attention. “V” is for values, whether or not you and your partner have similar values or if you have different values but are

still able to make it work. Lastly is the “R” which refers to long-term roles and whether a couple is compatible long-term and in their daily routines (Miller, 2015, p. 95, par. 2). An article from the Journal of Marriage and Family discusses how “there are many tasks which face the couple in the ‘role’ stage before they move into marriage” (Murstein, 1970, p. 469, col. 2, par. 3). Some of the most important areas of a partner that a couple must figure out has to do with their perceived role fit, personal adequacy, and sexual compatibility (Murstein, 1970, p. 469, col. 2, par. 3). This concept is extremely important with regard to intimate relationships because if a couple is incompatible in any area of the SVR Model, then the relationship will probably not work out. A couple could capture each other’s attention, have similar values but if they don’t have compatibility in their daily routines or their long-term goals, then the relationship will fail. Relationships require a lot of compatibility to be successful long-term and this model demonstrates how important this compatibility is because there needs to be compatibility in many different areas of the relationship. Another concept important to relationships is the Social Exchange Theory. Social exchange refers to there being a mutual exchange of desirable or beneficial rewards (Miller, 2105, p. 176, par. 4). A journal article about social exchange discussed how these exchanges can symbolize an “invested relationship that is based on—and motivated by—obligatory exchanges of unspecified favors and benefits” (Colquitt, Baer, Long, Halvorsen-Ganepola, 2014, p.600, col. 1, par. 2). This applies to relationships and is important because for relationships to be successful both partners want to feel as if they are receiving beneficial rewards which outweigh the costs (anything unpleasant, annoying or detrimental) of the relationship (Miller, 2015, p.177, par. 2). When the rewards are greater than the costs the relationship is said to be profitable (Miller, 2015, p. 177, par. 3) and because of this partners should feel fulfilled and content with their

relationship. In a couple, if both partners are providing beneficial things to each other, then the couple will flourish and have a higher level of relationship satisfaction. If one partner provides lots of rewards and they are not receiving anything beneficial in return, then they will feel unappreciated and like they are the only one who cares about the relationship. This will overall create problems within the relationship so it is important that couples always have a rewards-tocosts ratio of at least 5-to-1 in order to feel satisfied and happy with their relationship (Miller, 2015, p. 186, par. 3). The most important concept for intimate relationship success is growth dependency and continuous maintenance. Growth dependency is also called “growth beliefs” and this concept is concerned with the idea that good, strong relationships develop gradually and they are the result of couples going through different challenges and obstacles together and overcoming them as a couple (Miller, 2015, p. 120, par. 1). Continuous maintenance is the idea that relationships require couples to continuously work and put effort into their relationships because in the absence of relationship work, relationships will come to an end (Miller, 2015, p.120, par. 1). One research study over growth beliefs discussed how “in interpersonal relationships, growth theorists believe that relationship growth occurs as a function of overcoming relationship problems” (Canevello, & Crocker, 2011, p.370, col. 2, par. 3 and p. 371, col. 1, par. 1). This study implies that in order for couples to grow closer together they must go through different life challenges and work to get through them by relying on each other. Couples can utilize these concepts by spending time with their partner and doing activities together so they remain connected and intertwined. Couples can also rely on each other to get through hard times and continuously put effort into their relationship so that it is able to continue thriving.

Reference Page:

Birnbaum, G., Reis, H., Mizrahi, M., Kanat-Maymon, Y., Sass, O., & Granovski-Milner, C. (2016). Intimately Connected: The Importance of Partner Responsiveness for Experiencing Sexual Desire. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2016. Canevello, A., & Crocker, J. (2011). Changing relationship growth belief: Intrapersonal and interpersonal consequences of compassionate goals. Personal Relationships, 18(3), 370391. Colquitt, J. A., Baer, M. D., Long, D. M., & Halvorsen-Ganepola, M. D. K. (2014). Scale indicators of social exchange relationships: A comparison of relative content validity. Journal of Applied Psychology, 99(4), 599-618. Gray, J., & Coons, J. (2017). Trait and goal similarity and discrepancy in romantic couples. Personality and Individual Differences, 107, 1-5. Miller, R. S. (2015). Intimate Relationships. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill. Murstein, B. (1970). Stimulus. Value. Role: A Theory of Marital Choice. Journal of Marriage and Family, 32(3), 465-481....