Perfect Mate Essay PDF

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1 Martin WRC I 18 September 2016 “Will Your Marriage Last” - Aviva Patz

In Aviva Patz' Article Will Your Marriage Last, she reviewed the experiments and work carried out by Ted Huston—professor of human ecology and psychology at UT—during The PAIR (Processes of Adaptation in Intimate Relationships) Project and went on to discuss his main findings as well as compare that with her failed marriage and newfound relationship. As deduced from the article presented by Patz, the criteria of Ted Huston, the characteristics onset by Princess Tiana ands Prince Naveen from Princess and the Frog, as well as the results of the UTSA 'Ideal Mate' student survey, relationships are most likely to last with the integration of a courtship in which the true feelings and thoughts of the spouses are shown, the overall people attempting to be together both possess good character qualities and look for a relationship for the correct reasons, and do not follow the typical Hollywood romance that looks great in the movies but falls short in real life. First, a Examination of the Early Stages of Marriage. Many newlyweds are far from being blissfully in love. Couples who begin with with pure—bliss are divorce prone because of the high levels of romantics are hard to maintain. Marriages beginning with less ‘Hollywood romance’ have a better chance. Long, lack-luster marriages are not prone to divorce. They begin as less fulfilling and continue that way. The loss of love and affection,not the emergence of personal issues is what causes divorce. Satisfied Spouses were Happy Newlyweds. How well spouses got along predicted their future, a major distinctive factor between the divorced and those still married was the amount of change within the first relationship over the first two years.

2 Couples who divorced showed a loss of initial levels of love and affection, rather than conflict. Feelings may determine a Union’s Fate—Disillusionment—Lovers put their best self on display ignoring the issues that seem to arise. After they are married, though their true personalities shine through and theres a blatant shift from idealism to realism that leads to disappointment and a loss of love. When a marriage fails, couples are commonly vulnerable to disillusionment when their courtships are brief. Courtships filled with drama and marriages driven by external circumstances are doomed to fail. When Marriages Succeed, using the ‘Enduring Dynamics’ model, partners show signs of early behavioral patterns and maintain them with stability. Major difference between happily married couples and unhappy ones is the level of satisfaction. All married couples eventually fall out of the Honeymoon phase but those who stay together transition from a romantic relationship to that of a working partnership. Western society makes and portrays marriage as the key adult relationship, putting pressure upon people to get married. Also, the storybook, Hollywood romance—unrealistic passion.

Keeping in line with this sort of Hollywood romance is the introduction of my perfect Disney relationship between that of Prince Naveen and Princess Tiana. Now although fictional, their love is an admirable and everlasting one. Together they posses the perfect combination of 'destined for greatness' criteria: A courtship that wasn't always clouds and rainbows, but one of the occasional hurdle--in which the couple cleared with the support of each other--, strongminded people to deal with each other's differences in healthy, beneficial ways, a positive environment that includes a strong support system, and of course, it couldn't hurt that they both grew into beautiful people both inside and out. Now, the couple's relationship wasn't always one for the stars. There were many problems in the beginning and one wouldn't dare refer to them as

3 lovers, let alone friends. But, this was most likely to be expected considering the prince turned Tiana into a frog in the first place and insisted on carrying his arrogant, easy-going attitude wherever he went. However, one may find true love where the least expect it. For instance, Princess Tiana stumbles upon the essence of love all whilst she is pursuing what she's truly passionate about. Love is not even on her radar due to the fact that she's so focused on fulfilling her dreams so that she doesn't realize what she already has until it is almost ripped from underneath her. But when she does finally open her eyes and allow herself to feel, it just makes her that much more admirable. She embodies the characteristics that menu should look for in their ideal mate (intelligence, beauty, diligence, passion, aspiration, and moral) which is another thing that strengthens the couple's chances. Also, she works tirelessly to fulfill her dreams but still finds love while becoming successful in her own right, portraying a great precedence for those women looking to belong in a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Prince Naveen perfectly fits into her life as a perfect partner because when they do fall in love, they both accept the fact that each of them are not perfect but they accept each other's flaws and carry on together. A final trait contributing to their long lasting marriage is the fact that their love knows no bounds, in their rather brief time together, they experience a lot of emotion, strife, and adventure. So it's no secret that when time seemingly runs out for them to become humans again, they're so contempt with just being that they decide to stay in frog form in order to be together. As equal partners in their relationship, they make their decision which in turn insets the true underlying magic within them that shifts them back to human form presenting to the world the wonderful lasting relationship of the Prince Naveen and Princess Tiana. Subsequently, this romantic story of The Princess of the Frog can be truly relatable and if only a fraction of the characteristics of their lasting marriage were matched, a solid relationship

4 would surely blossom. Determined to test this theory, we turned to perform our own experiment. The purpose of this experiment was to determine the most sought out characteristics of the ideal mate by means of a survey of UTSA men and women. Below are the results of this experiment:

5

The Perfect Mate Survey: Results Summary of the Graph: Based upon the most desirable traits of women as judged from men—those being Morality, Attractiveness, and Sense of humor— UTSA men are likely to be in somewhat successful relationships due to their frequent choice of morals, important because a good portrayal of character not blinded by Hollywood theatrics is pertinent for god relationships. Ted Huston—Professor of Human Ecology and Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin—also mentions how such qualities could make or break a good relationship, deduced from his findings of The PAIR Project.

Top Ten Traits-Women-1 TRAIT

NUMBER

Humorous

108%

Kindness

65%

Attractiveness

65%

Intelligence

48%

Honesty

45%

Loyalty

40%

Passion

39%

Athleticism

27%

Confidence

20%

Communication

13%

Figure 1: Data Graph 1: Women’s Top Ten Traits of Ideal Mate 110%

83%

55%

28%

0% Humorous

Kindness Attractiveness Intelligence

Honesty

Loyalty

Passion

Athleticism

Confidence Communicati

6 Men's Results

Summary of the Graph: Based upon the traits selected as most desirable of men from a women’s standpoint—including that of a Sense of Humor, Kindness, and Attractiveness— UTSA women are likely to be in successful relationships, especially due to the high level of choice for the humor trait, which Ted Huston—Professor of Human Ecology and Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin—describes as essential to a good courtship and later on marriage, after performing The PAIR Project.

Top Ten Traits-Men TRAIT

NUMBER

Morality

82%

Attractiveness

64%

Humorous

56%

Outgoing

42%

Intelligence

42%

Athleticism

26%

Passion

22%

Ambition

16%

Loyalty

16%

Cooking Skills

12%

Figure 2: Data Graph 2: Men’s Top Ten Traits of Ideal Mate 90%

68%

45%

23%

0% Morality

Attractiveness Humorous

Outgoing

Intelligence

Athleticism

Passion

Ambition

Loyalty

Cooking Skills...