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ASYOULIKEIT 

WILLIAMSHAKESPEARE       

DRAMATISPERSONAE. DUKE,livinginexile FREDERICK,hisbrother,andusurperofhisdominions AMIENS,lordattendingonthebanishedDuke JAQUES LEBEAU,acourtierattendinguponFrederick CHARLES,wrestlertoFrederick OLIVER,sonofSirRowlanddeBoys JAQUES ORLANDO ADAM,servanttoOliver DENNIS TOUCHSTONE,thecourtjester SIROLIVERMARTEXT,avicar

CORIN,shepherd SILVIUS WILLIAM,acountryfellow,inlovewithAudrey ApersonrepresentingHYMEN ROSALIND,daughtertothebanishedDuke CELIA,daughtertoFrederick PHEBE,ashepherdess AUDREY,acountrywench Lords,Pages,Foresters,andAttendants 

SCENE:OLIVER'Shouse;FREDERICK'Scourt;andtheForestofArden

ACTI. SCENEI.OrchardofOLIVER'Shouse EnterORLANDOandADAM ORLANDO.AsIremember,Adam,itwasuponthisfashionbequeathed mebywillbutpoorathousandcrowns,and,asthousay'st, chargedmybrother,onhisblessing,tobreedmewell;andthere beginsmysadness.MybrotherJaqueshekeepsatschool,and reportspeaksgoldenlyofhisprofit.Formypart,hekeepsme rusticallyathome,or,tospeakmoreproperly,staysmehereat homeunkept;forcallyouthatkeepingforagentlemanofmy birththatdiffersnotfromthestallingofanox?Hishorsesare bredbetter;for,besidesthattheyarefairwiththeirfeeding, theyaretaughttheirmanage,andtothatendridersdearly hir'd;butI,hisbrother,gainnothingunderhimbutgrowth;for thewhichhisanimalsonhisdunghillsareasmuchboundtohim

asI.Besidesthisnothingthathesoplentifullygivesme,the somethingthatnaturegavemehiscountenanceseemstotakefrom me.Heletsmefeedwithhishinds,barsmetheplaceofa brother,andasmuchasinhimlies,minesmygentilitywithmy education.Thisisit,Adam,thatgrievesme;andthespiritof myfather,whichIthinkiswithinme,beginstomutinyagainst thisservitude.Iwillnolongerendureit,thoughyetIknowno wiseremedyhowtoavoidit. EnterOLIVER ADAM.Yondercomesmymaster,yourbrother. ORLANDO.Goapart,Adam,andthoushalthearhowhewillshakeme up.ADAMretires OLIVER.Now,sir!whatmakeyouhere? ORLANDO.Nothing;Iamnottaughttomakeanything. OLIVER.Whatmaryouthen,sir? ORLANDO.Marry,sir,IamhelpingyoutomarthatwhichGodmade,a poorunworthybrotherofyours,withidleness. OLIVER.Marry,sir,bebetteremployed,andbenoughtawhile. ORLANDO.ShallIkeepyourhogs,andeathuskswiththem?What prodigalportionhaveIspentthatIshouldcometosuchpenury? OLIVER.Knowyouwhereyouare,sir? ORLANDO.O,sir,verywell;hereinyourorchard. OLIVER.Knowyoubeforewhom,sir? ORLANDO.Ay,betterthanhimIambeforeknowsme.Iknowyouare myeldestbrother;andinthegentleconditionofblood,you shouldsoknowme.Thecourtesyofnationsallowsyoumybetter inthatyouarethefirst-born;butthesametraditiontakesnot

awaymyblood,weretheretwentybrothersbetwixtus.Ihaveas muchofmyfatherinmeasyou,albeitIconfessyourcoming beforemeisnearertohisreverence. OLIVER.What,boy!Strikeshim ORLANDO.Come,come,elderbrother,youaretooyounginthis. OLIVER.Wiltthoulayhandsonme,villain? ORLANDO.Iamnovillain;IamtheyoungestsonofSirRowlandde Boys.Hewasmyfather;andheisthriceavillainthatsayssuch afatherbegotvillains.Wertthounotmybrother,Iwouldnot takethishandfromthythroattillthisotherhadpull'doutthy tongueforsayingso.Thouhasrail'donthyself. ADAM.ComingforwardSweetmasters,bepatient;foryourfather's remembrance,beataccord. OLIVER.Letmego,Isay. ORLANDO.Iwillnot,tillIplease;youshallhearme.Myfather charg'dyouinhiswilltogivemegoodeducation:youhave train'dmelikeapeasant,obscuringandhidingfrommeall gentleman-likequalities.Thespiritofmyfathergrowsstrongin me,andIwillnolongerendureit;thereforeallowmesuch exercisesasmaybecomeagentleman,orgivemethepoor allotterymyfatherleftmebytestament;withthatIwillgobuy myfortunes. OLIVER.Andwhatwiltthoudo?Beg,whenthatisspent?Well,sir, getyouin.Iwillnotlongbetroubledwithyou;youshallhave somepartofyourwill.Iprayyouleaveme. ORLANDO.Inofurtheroffendyouthanbecomesmeformygood. OLIVER.Getyouwithhim,youolddog.

ADAM.Is'olddog'myreward?Mosttrue,Ihavelostmyteethin yourservice.Godbewithmyoldmaster!Hewouldnothavespoke suchaword. ExeuntORLANDOandADAM OLIVER.Isitevenso?Beginyoutogrowuponme?Iwillphysic yourrankness,andyetgivenothousandcrownsneither. Holla,Dennis! EnterDENNIS DENNIS.Callsyourworship? OLIVER.WasnotCharles,theDuke'swrestler,heretospeakwithme? DENNIS.Sopleaseyou,heishereatthedoorandimportunesaccess toyou. OLIVER.Callhimin. ExitDENNIS'Twillbeagoodway;and to-morrowthewrestlingis. EnterCHARLES CHARLES. Good morrow to your worship. OLIVER. Good Monsieur Charles!What'sthenewnewsatthenewcourt?CHARLES.There'snonews at the court, sir, but the old news; that is, the old Duke is banished by hi younger brother the new Duke; and three or four loving lords have put themselvesintovoluntaryexilewithhim,whoselandsandrevenuesenrichthe newDuke;thereforehegivesthemgoodleavetowander.OLIVER.Canyou tellifRosalind,theDuke'sdaughter,bebanishedwithherfather?CHARLES O,no;fortheDuke'sdaughter,hercousin,solovesher,beingeverfromtheir cradlesbredtogether,thatshewouldhavefollowedherexile,orhavediedto staybehindher.Sheisatthecourt,andnolessbelovedofherunclethanhis own daughter; and never two ladies loved as they do. OLIVER. Where wil theoldDukelive?CHARLES.TheysayheisalreadyintheForestofArden andamanymerrymenwithhim;andtheretheyliveliketheoldRobinHood ofEngland.Theysaymanyyounggentlemenflocktohimeveryday,andflee the time carelessly, as they did in the golden world. OLIVER. What, you wrestle to-morrow before the new Duke? CHARLES. Marry, do I, sir; and I cametoacquaintyouwithamatter.Iamgiven,sir,secretlytounderstandtha youryoungerbrother,Orlando,hathadispositiontocomeindisguis'dagains

metotryafall.To-morrow,sir,Iwrestleformycredit;andhethatescapesme without some broken limb shall acquit him well. Your brother is but young andtender;and,foryourlove,Iwouldbeloathtofoilhim,asImust,formy ownhonour,ifhecomein;therefore,outofmylovetoyou,Icamehitherto acquaint you withal, that either you might stay him from his intendment, o brook such disgrace well as he shall run into, in that it is thing of his own searchandaltogetheragainstmywill.OLIVER.Charles,Ithanktheeforthy love to me, which thou shalt find I will most kindly requite. I had mysel noticeofmybrother'spurposeherein,andhavebyunderhandmeanslaboured to dissuade him from it; but he is resolute. I'll tell thee, Charles, it is the stubbornestyoungfellowof France;fullof ambition,an enviousemulatorof everyman'sgoodparts,asecretandvillainouscontriveragainstmehisnatura brother.Thereforeusethydiscretion:Ihadasliefthoudidstbreakhisneckas his finger. And thou wert best look to't; for if thou dost him any slight disgrace, or if he do not mightily grace himself on thee, he will practise against thee by poison, entrap thee by some treacherous device, and neve leave thee till he hath ta'en thy life by some indirect means or other; for, assurethee,andalmostwithtearsIspeakit,thereisnotonesoyoungandso villainousthisdayliving.Ispeakbutbrotherlyofhim;butshouldIanatomize him to thee as he is, I must blush and weep, and thou must look pale and wonder. CHARLES. I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he come tomorrowI'llgivehimhispayment.Ifeverhegoaloneagain,I'llneverwrestle forprizemore.Andso,Godkeepyourworship! ExitOLIVER.Farewell,goodCharles.NowwillIstirthisgamester.I hopeIshallseeanendofhim;formysoul,yetIknownotwhy,hates nothingmorethanhe.Yethe'sgentle;neverschool'dandyetlearned; fullofnobledevice;ofallsortsenchantinglybeloved;and,indeed,so muchintheheartoftheworld,andespeciallyofmyownpeople,who bestknow him,that Iamaltogether misprised.Butit shallnot beso long; this wrestler shall clear all. Nothing remains but that I kindle theboythither,whichnowI'llgoabout. Exit

SCENEII.AlawnbeforetheDUKE'Spalace EnterROSALINDandCELIA CELIA.Ipraythee,Rosalind,sweetmycoz,bemerry. ROSALIND.DearCelia,IshowmoremirththanIammistressof;and

wouldyouyetIweremerrier?Unlessyoucouldteachmetoforget abanishedfather,youmustnotlearnmehowtorememberany extraordinarypleasure. CELIA.HereinIseethoulov'stmenotwiththefullweightthatI lovethee.Ifmyuncle,thybanishedfather,hadbanishedthy uncle,theDukemyfather,sothouhadstbeenstillwithme,I couldhavetaughtmylovetotakethyfatherformine;sowouldst thou,ifthetruthofthylovetomeweresorighteouslytemper'd asmineistothee. ROSALIND.Well,Iwillforgettheconditionofmyestate,to rejoiceinyours. CELIA.YouknowmyfatherhathnochildbutI,nornoneisliketo have;and,truly,whenhediesthoushaltbehisheir;forwhat hehathtakenawayfromthyfatherperforce,Iwillrenderthee againinaffection.Byminehonour,Iwill;andwhenIbreakthat oath,letmeturnmonster;therefore,mysweetRose,mydear Rose,bemerry. ROSALIND.FromhenceforthIwill,coz,anddevisesports. Letmesee;whatthinkyouoffallinginlove? CELIA.Marry,Iprithee,do,tomakesportwithal;butlovenoman ingoodearnest,nornofurtherinsportneitherthanwithsafety ofapureblushthoumaystinhonourcomeoffagain. ROSALIND.Whatshallbeoursport,then? CELIA.LetussitandmockthegoodhousewifeFortunefromher wheel,thathergiftsmayhenceforthbebestowedequally. ROSALIND.Iwouldwecoulddoso;forherbenefitsaremightily misplaced;andthebountifulblindwomandothmostmistakeinher

giftstowomen. CELIA.'Tistrue;forthosethatshemakesfairshescarcemakes honest;andthosethatshemakeshonestshemakesvery ill-favouredly. ROSALIND.Nay;nowthougoestfromFortune'sofficeto Nature's: Fortunereignsingiftsoftheworld,notinthelineamentsof Nature. EnterTOUCHSTONE CELIA.No;whenNaturehathmadeafaircreature,mayshenotby Fortunefallintothefire?ThoughNaturehathgivenuswitto floutatFortune,hathnotFortunesentinthisfooltocutoff theargument? ROSALIND.Indeed,thereisFortunetoohardforNature,when FortunemakesNature'snaturalthecutter-offofNature'swit. CELIA.PeradventurethisisnotFortune'sworkneither,but Nature's,whoperceivethournaturalwitstoodulltoreasonof suchgoddesses,andhathsentthisnaturalforourwhetstone;for alwaysthedullnessofthefoolisthewhetstoneofthewits.How now,wit!Whitherwanderyou? TOUCHSTONE.Mistress,youmustcomeawaytoyourfather. CELIA.Wereyoumadethemessenger? TOUCHSTONE.No,byminehonour;butIwasbidtocomeforyou. ROSALIND.Wherelearnedyouthatoath,fool? TOUCHSTONE.Ofacertainknightthatsworebyhishonourtheywere goodpancakes,andsworebyhishonourthemustardwasnaught. NowI'llstandtoit,thepancakeswerenaughtandthemustard

wasgood,andyetwasnottheknightforsworn. CELIA.Howproveyouthat,inthegreatheapofyourknowledge? ROSALIND.Ay,marry,nowunmuzzleyourwisdom. TOUCHSTONE.Standyoubothforthnow:strokeyourchins,andswear byyourbeardsthatIamaknave. CELIA.Byourbeards,ifwehadthem,thouart. TOUCHSTONE.Bymyknavery,ifIhadit,thenIwere.Butifyou swearbythatthatisnot,youarenotforsworn;nomorewasthis knight,swearingbyhishonour,forheneverhadany;orifhe had,hehadswornitawaybeforeeverhesawthosepancackesor thatmustard. CELIA.Prithee,whois'tthatthoumean'st? TOUCHSTONE.OnethatoldFrederick,yourfather,loves. CELIA.Myfather'sloveisenoughtohonourhim.Enough,speakno moreofhim;you'llbewhiptfortaxationoneofthesedays. TOUCHSTONE.Themorepitythatfoolsmaynotspeakwiselywhatwise mendofoolishly. CELIA.Bymytroth,thousayesttrue;forsincethelittlewitthat foolshavewassilenced,thelittlefoolerythatwisemenhave makesagreatshow.HerecomesMonsieurLeBeau. EnterLEBEAU ROSALIND.Withhismouthfullofnews. CELIA.Whichhewillputonusaspigeonsfeedtheiryoung. ROSALIND.Thenshallwebenews-cramm'd. CELIA.Allthebetter;weshallbethemoremarketable.Bonjour, MonsieurLeBeau.What'sthenews? LEBEAU.FairPrincess,youhavelostmuchgoodsport.

CELIA.Sport!ofwhatcolour? LEBEAU.Whatcolour,madam?HowshallIansweryou? ROSALIND.Aswitandfortunewill. TOUCHSTONE.OrastheDestiniesdecrees. CELIA.Wellsaid;thatwaslaidonwithatrowel. TOUCHSTONE.Nay,ifIkeepnotmyrankROSALIND.Thoulosestthyoldsmell. LEBEAU.Youamazeme,ladies.Iwouldhavetoldyouofgood wrestling,whichyouhavelostthesightof. ROSALIND.Yettellusthemannerofthewrestling. LEBEAU.Iwilltellyouthebeginning,and,ifitpleaseyour ladyships,youmayseetheend;forthebestisyettodo;and here,whereyouare,theyarecomingtoperformit. CELIA.Well,thebeginning,thatisdeadandburied. LEBEAU.TherecomesanoldmanandhisthreesonsCELIA.Icouldmatchthisbeginningwithanoldtale. LEBEAU.Threeproperyoungmen,ofexcellentgrowthand presence. ROSALIND.Withbillsontheirnecks:'Beitknownuntoallmenby thesepresents'LEBEAU.TheeldestofthethreewrestledwithCharles,theDuke's wrestler;whichCharlesinamomentthrewhim,andbrokethreeof hisribs,thatthereislittlehopeoflifeinhim.Soheserv'd thesecond,andsothethird.Yondertheylie;thepooroldman, theirfather,makingsuchpitifuldoleoverthemthatallthe beholderstakehispartwithweeping. ROSALIND.Alas!

TOUCHSTONE.Butwhatisthesport,monsieur,thattheladieshave lost? LEBEAU.Why,thisthatIspeakof. TOUCHSTONE.Thusmenmaygrowwisereveryday.Itisthefirsttime thateverIheardbreakingofribswassportforladies. CELIA.OrI,Ipromisethee. ROSALIND.Butisthereanyelselongstoseethisbrokenmusicin hissides?Isthereyetanotherdotesuponrib-breaking?Shallwe seethiswrestling,cousin? LEBEAU.Youmust,ifyoustayhere;forhereistheplace appointedforthewrestling,andtheyarereadytoperformit. CELIA.Yonder,sure,theyarecoming.Letusnowstayandseeit. Flourish. EnterDUKEFREDERICK,LORDS,ORLANDO, CHARLES,andATTENDANTS FREDERICK.Comeon;sincetheyouthwillnotbeentreated,hisown perilonhisforwardness. ROSALIND.Isyondertheman? LEBEAU.Evenhe,madam. CELIA.Alas,heistooyoung;yethelookssuccessfully. FREDERICK.Hownow,daughterandcousin!Areyoucrepthitherto seethewrestling? ROSALIND.Ay,myliege;sopleaseyougiveusleave. FREDERICK.Youwilltakelittledelightinit,Icantellyou, thereissuchoddsintheman.Inpityofthechallenger'syouth Iwouldfaindissuadehim,buthewillnotbeentreated.Speakto him,ladies;seeifyoucanmovehim.

CELIA.Callhimhither,goodMonsieurLeBeau. FREDERICK.Doso;I'llnotbeby. DUKEFREDERICKgoesapart LEBEAU.MonsieurtheChallenger,thePrincesscallsforyou. ORLANDO.Iattendthemwithallrespectandduty. ROSALIND.Youngman,haveyouchalleng'dCharlesthewrestler? ORLANDO.No,fairPrincess;heisthegeneralchallenger.Icome butin,asothersdo,totrywithhimthestrengthofmyyouth. CELIA.Younggentleman,yourspiritsaretooboldforyouryears. Youhaveseencruelproofofthisman'sstrength;ifyousaw yourselfwithyoureyes,orknewyourselfwithyourjudgment,the fearofyouradventurewouldcounselyoutoamoreequal enterprise.Weprayyou,foryourownsake,toembraceyourown safetyandgiveoverthisattempt. ROSALIND.Do,youngsir;yourreputationshallnotthereforebe misprised:wewillmakeitoursuittotheDukethatthe wrestlingmightnotgoforward. ORLANDO.Ibeseechyou,punishmenotwithyourhardthoughts, whereinIconfessmemuchguiltytodenysofairandexcellent ladiesanything.Butletyourfaireyesandgentlewishesgo withmetomytrial;whereinifIbefoil'dthereisbutone sham'dthatwasnevergracious;ifkill'd,butonedeadthatis willingtobeso.Ishalldomyfriendsnowrong,forIhavenone tolamentme;theworldnoinjury,forinitIhavenothing;only intheworldIfillupaplace,whichmaybebettersuppliedwhen Ihavemadeitempty. ROSALIND.ThelittlestrengththatIhave,Iwoulditwerewithyou.

CELIA.Andminetoekeouthers. ROSALIND.Fareyouwell.PrayheavenIbedeceiv'dinyou! CELIA.Yourheart'sdesiresbewithyou! CHARLES.Come,whereisthisyounggallantthatissodesirousto liewithhismotherearth? ORLANDO.Ready,sir;buthiswillhathinitamoremodestworking. FREDERICK.Youshalltrybutonefall. CHARLES.No,IwarrantyourGrace,youshallnotentreathimtoa second,thathavesomightilypersuadedhimfromafirst. ORLANDO.Youmeantomockmeafter;youshouldnothavemock'dme before;butcomeyourways. ROSALIND.Now,Herculesbethyspeed,youngman! CELIA.IwouldIwereinvisible,tocatchthestrongfellowbythe leg.Theywrestle ROSALIND.Oexcellentyoungman! CELIA.IfIhadathunderboltinmineeye,Icantellwhoshoulddown. CHARLESisthrown.Shout FREDERICK.Nomore,nomore. ORLANDO.Yes,IbeseechyourGrace;Iamnotyetwellbreath'd. FREDERICK.Howdostthou,Charles? LEBEAU.Hecannotspeak,mylord. FREDERICK.Bearhimaway.Whatisthyname,youngman? ORLANDO.Orlando,myliege;theyoungestsonofSirRowlanddeBoys. FREDERICK.Iwouldthouhadstbeensontosomemanelse. Theworldesteem'dthyfatherhonourable, ButIdidfindhimstillmineenemy. Thoushouldsthavebetterpleas'dmewiththisdeed,

Hadstthoudescendedfromanotherhouse. Butfaretheewell;thouartagallantyouth; Iwouldthouhadsttoldmeofanotherfather. ExeuntDUKE,train,andLEBEAU CELIA.WereImyfather,coz,wouldIdothis? ORLANDO.IammoreproudtobeSirRowland'sson, Hisyoungestson-andwouldnotchangethatcalling TobeadoptedheirtoFrederick. ROSALIND.Myfatherlov'dSirRowlandashissoul, Andalltheworldwasofmyfather'smind; HadIbeforeknownthisyoungmanhisson, Ishouldhavegivenhimtearsuntoentreaties Ereheshouldthushaveventur'd. CELIA.Gentlecousin, Letusgothankhim,andencouragehim; Myfather'sroughandenviousdisposition Sticksmeatheart.Sir,youhavewelldeserv'd; Ifyoudokeepyourpromisesinlove Butjustlyasyouhaveexceededallpromise, Yourmistressshallbehappy. ROSALIND.Gentleman,Givinghimachainfromherneck Wearthisforme;oneoutofsuitswithfortune, Thatcouldgivemore,butthatherhandlacksmeans. Shallwego,coz? CELIA.Ay.Fareyouwell,fairgentleman. ORLANDO.CanInotsay'Ithankyou'?Mybetterparts Areallthrowndown;andthatwhichherestandsup

Isbutaquintain,amerelifelessblock. ROSALIND.Hecallsusback.Mypridefellwithmyfortunes; I'llaskhimwhathewould.Didyoucall,sir? Sir,youhavewrestledwell,andoverthrown Morethanyourenemies. CELIA.Willyougo,coz? ROSALIND.Havewithyou.Fareyouwell. ExeuntROSALINDandCELIA ORLANDO.Whatpassionhangstheseweightsuponmytongue? Icannotspeaktoher,yetsheurg'dconference. OpoorOrlando,thou...