Communication- 03:02:2020 PDF

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Communication Intimacy in interpersonal relationships  Dimensions of Intimacy o Closeness:  Physical  Intellectual Sharing  Emotional  Shared activities o Do relationships need all four qualities to be “intimate”?  Male/ Female Intimacy Styles o Current research shows not as much difference between men and women as previously thought (Debra  Both have close relationships  But shared activities vs. disclosure  Gender Differences o Women report talk  Intimacy  Nurturing, caring, helping, non-confrontational  Want to be likes  Stories show relationships, create goodwill bonds  Give more feedback when listening  Ask more questions o Men report talk  Independence  Assertive, ambitious, competitive  Want to gain status (One-upmanship)  Stories told as a “Can you top this?”.  Ask verbal sparring questions  Self-Disclosure

o Revealing information is that:  Deliberate  Significant  Not known by others  Self-Penetration Theory: o

SELF

 Why Self-Disclose?  Catharsis  Self-Clarification  Self-Validation  Reciprocity  Impression Management  Relationship Maintenance and Enhancement  Control  Guidelines for Self-Disclosure o Self-disclose the kind of information you want others to disclose you o Move self-disclosure to deeper levels o Continue intimate self-disclosure only if it is reciprocated  Models of Self-Disclosure: Johari Window

Everything about you

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Known to self / Not known to self

Known to others/ Not known to others

 Johari Window Known to Self

Not Known to Self

Known to Others

Not Known to

Open

Blind

Secret

Unknown

Others  Managing Conflict Withdraw Accommodate Force Compromise Collaborate

Physically/Psychologically removing self from group Satisfying others’ needs at expense of own Showing no concern for needs of others Both sides give up ideals to end argument Working together to find mutually satisfying solution

 Assertiveness: Expressing Our Needs and Rights o Passive Behavior

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Lose/ Lose Win/ Lose Win/ Lose Lose/ Lose Win/ Win

 When people do not state their opinions, share feelings, or responsibility for their behavior o Aggressive Behavior  When people forcefully lash out to achieve their goals with little regard for the situation or for the feelings, needs, or rights of others  Be Assertive o Own your feelings o Avoid confrontational language o Use specific statements directed to the behaviors at hand o Maintain eye contact and a firm body position o Maintain a firm but pleasant tone of voice o Avoid hemming and hawing  Characteristics of an Assertive Message  Behavior description > Interpretation of other person’s behavior > Description of your feelings > Description of the consequences > Statement of intentions > 

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