Metaphor essay - Grade: A PDF

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This is for Dr. Baker's class. ...

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Samantha Wallace Dr. Baker CST 477, Metaphor Essay April 10, 2016 One of the negative metaphors of conflict I can relate to is that conflict is a wound. This metaphor specifically applies to my sister and I. We have gotten into several bitter arguments before that have left us with emotional pain, and it seems like no matter how much we promise to each other, we open those wounds back up when we experience conflict. We often bring up past shortcomings from each other’s experiences that really can set off our tempers. This influences my perspective on conflict because I feel I sometimes have to inflict a wound on someone to solve conflict, and other people do so as well. By creating a wound, you can have the upper hand in another fight. This is often times however, due to power struggles. One party wants the power. Another metaphor I can relate to is conflict is a heroic adventure. This viewpoint comes from when I am helping other people solve their conflicts. It’s funny how when we solve our own conflicts, it seems like a matter of life or death, but when it comes to someone else’s conflicts, we want to be the hero and stop the parties from wanting to kill each other. It is a big hypocrisy; I will help other people in their conflicts and they these people will look at me like I’m a hero because I did something super simple to stop a conflict. It’s an adventure because there are ups and downs in solving the conflict. This metaphor makes me feel like I can have some selfconfidence in my own conflict style skills because I am able to help other people, even if I am horrible at dealing with my own conflicts. Lastly, I view conflict as musical improvisation. Keep in mind that music improvisation can go well or it can sound terrible, or it can go smoothly. This metaphor can be positive, negative, or

neutral. When someone starts a conflict with me for no reason, the “improvisation” can go anywhere. When actively engaged in a conflict, the improvisation could go bad or it could be okay or end up being good. This metaphor makes me feel like conflict can be out of my control or else it can be something in which I go along with the flow; even sometimes purposely messing up the smooth flow so I can change the rhythm or tone of the improvisation. Conflict is up to the parties, it can g smooth if both parties go along with their pitches. Or, it could feel disjointed because both parties want their way. My grandma’s 70th birthday was last march. For her birthday, we decided to take her to New York City since she had never been to the city. She grew up in upstate New York as a child but was too poor to go into the city. Therefore, this was a big deal for my sister and I. We wanted this birthday to be legendary. In the end, we ended up spending five grand each on this trip. Initially, we agreed on the hotel arrangements after months of arguing, however. We would argue so much that my grandma could hear us screaming across Skype; she was in Flagstaff I was in Phoenix. Luckily, my grandma never figured out what we were arguing about. For Christmas, we gave our grandma the trip itinerary for New York, and my sister and I had all the arrangements made. Things took a nasty turn, however. After realizing how much money we spent on this hotel, I decided we needed to change the room arrangements. The original hotel costed $4,000 for one week. I knew the trip was going to be a nightmare if we didn’t have enough money to spend doing extracurricular activities in the city. Besides, we weren’t going to be in the hotel room much anyways! My sister had it in her head that we would have enough money for activities after that ridiculous expense, and I knew things needed to change. Funny thing is we originally decided on a $5,000 hotel for a week, but I got her to change to this one. Now, I wanted to change it again, but for good reasons.

I told my sister that we should stay at hotel C, since it was only $2700 for one week instead of $4500; cost was nearly cut in half. It was also a nice hotel just like the one we originally planned. The only trade-off was having to take the subway for seven miles into the city. I also mentioned how we would have so much more money for activities. She wouldn’t budge, and we argued so loudly that I had to go into my car to fight with her about it. Finally, I approached my grandma about it. She was upset that we spent that much money on a room. I even talked to my aunt Flavia about the issue, and she agreed with me. I forcibly cancelled the other room arrangements and booked a non-refundable hotel with my grandma once we decided we were going to save money and just take the subway into the city. She didn’t mind the trade-offs and was quite pleased that we had a lot more money to spend doing activities. I told my sister about cancelling the one trip and booking the other price about three weeks before we were to leave (we left in march, made the change mid-January, and were just telling her the information near the end of February). She got so livid that she posted a Facebook status about how she hated her family and that she wasn’t going on the trip because of what I did. My aunt Flavia wrote my sister a nasty letter about how her behavior was unacceptable and how I was just trying to do what is right and my aunt agreed with what I did. The problem was my aunt called my sister names in that letter, and I helped my aunt write it; I approved of the nasty names. Also, my sister paid for half of the hotel cost, and I owed her $650. I transferred that extra money to her afterwards, but she never accepted it. My sister was so angry that she insisted she wasn’t going on the trip, wanted all her money back (that hotel cost didn’t include the flights!), and that she was never going to go on a trip with me again. Needless to say, after she finally talked to me, she got on the plane and got over it.

This is the metaphor that conflict is a battlefield. I should have done the whole situation completely differently. First off, I should have tried my best to come to an agreement with my sister. However, it seemed impossible after we booked hotel B instead of hotel A. She was set in her ways and it was “her way or the highway.” Hotel C wasn’t even an option anymore. We had already inflicted several emotional wounds into each other after arguing over the first hotel arrangements we made. Second, I waited until three weeks before we were leaving to inform her of the change my grandma and I made to the arrangements, and that since it was non-refundable, she had no choice. I should have told her somewhat sooner, although I know that probably would have kept us pitted against each other even longer. Third, I approved of my aunt sending her a disgusting letter full of hurtful things that I later learned made my sister cry for days. I felt absolutely terrible after I learned that my sister had been crying almost every night after I told her the changes, and even before the changes she was crying because we were arguing about the hotel arrangements once again. That letter was my hugest regret, and I should have left my aunt out of the whole mess. Not only did I strain my relationship with my sister, I strained the relationship between my aunt and sister. To this day, my sister is still trying to respect my aunt after that letter she sent her that I approved. It is getting much better though now, and I feel like they are able to speak to each other again. All in all, it was quite an emotional experience. We did have a great trip for the most part. At times, my sister did let me have it, complaining about the subway and the hotel. I didn’t even argue back, for I knew she had a right to complain. After all, I did coerce the changes and now I decided to deal with the consequences. She needed to vent her emotions, and I let her do it completely since I had so much guilt from the letter. To this day, we still get mad/laugh about the situation, but we remember how fun the trip was. That’s what matters ultimately to us both....