Peer Review 1 (Binge-watching) PDF

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Notes Bold= revision Specific Aims -Nice beginning paragraph -The fourth sentence sounds confusing maybe try, “Viewers do not need access to cable or television channels to watch shows. Additionally, many television companies give access to their shows on their websites without any membership fees.” -For the organization of the specific aims, I believe after each aim you state your specific hypothesis for that aim. I don’t think the syllabus states this but I did a lot of research online and all the examples say to state the aim and then the hypothesis i.e. Aim 1: Are people more likely to binge watch a show or watch in the classical fashion of week by week? Hypothesis: There will be a difference in amount of people who binge watch shows and the amount of people who watch television in the classical fashion. -For your main hypothesis, I think you should restructure it. Maybe try, “The development of streaming sites will make a difference in amount of viewers who binge watch television.” Also I would separate the definition of binge watching and your hypothesis. Maybe put the definition of binge watching in your first paragraph. -I understand what you say by “classical fashion” but I would consider rewording or renaming the classification. Significance -consider changing “Americans and people of the world” to “watching television has become a regularity within society.” - The second sentence, “the way people viewed” - The beginning of the third sentence is redundant from the second sentence, consider revising. - “ America now binge watch, which is defined…” - Reorganize your sentence before the graph, I like your choice of words but it is a little choppy -Consider revising this sentence “Knowing how binge watching television affects the individual, in terms of sleep, disease, and food related issues is important during a time with many problems linked to television.” to “As television viewing rates are increasing, discovering how binge watching television affects viewers in terms of sleep, disease, and food related issues are important.”

-such as “type II diabetes and heart problems however, there has been little research done comparing…” - “but the research community has not had a chance to come up with it yet.” -> don’t quite understand what you mean by this. They haven’t done enough research? -“If the proposed aims are achieved, the knowledge related to binge watching may influence how much is watched, in terms of quantity, in addition to the hours of which the watching takes place. Proving that binge watching leads to adverse interpersonal effects can cause the person to change how they binge their shows.” -> great sentences! - For your last sentence I’m a little confused earlier in your aims you said that you wanted to see how binge watching television affects social aspects. In your last sentence of your significance you state that proving that binge watching television promotes social interactions might be too predictive. You might want to say the results from this study could clarify if binge watching television affects social aspects in a negative or positive way. Innovation -Consider taking out “It means to watch multiple episodes in rapid succession.” Because you have defined binge watching in your previous sections. -By proving that there are consequences to binge watching tv, whether positive or adverse, this study will open up a new area of interest into the social atmosphere in the world today.” -> nice sentence! Approach -Aim 1 Rational is really well stated. Great use of words and is clear. -“The subjects will be given a survey that will have many questions…” -“The way people eat, how much, what times, how big are the portion size, do they take time to make real meals of do they throw something together quick are all ways that binge watching can affect the food patterns of the individual.” -> consider restricting and rewording this sentence. -The organization of your approach section is awesome! Very clear, concise, and organized. Inclusion of Women, Minorities, and Children -“our research aims to include all minorities to get a better sense…” -“ If there is a financial…”

Overall I really like your topic because it is so prevalent and relatable. I would suggest rereading your work out loud and listening to your sentence structure. Your approach and specific aims sections are really great! I was really nitpicky while I edited because I really wanted to help in any way I could. Don’t be taken away by all the notes, your paper was great! I hope this helped!...