Peer review commentary assignment. PDF

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ENG-105 Peer Review Worksheet: Commentary Part of your responsibility as a student in this course is to provide quality feedback to your peers that will help them to improve their writing skills. This worksheet will assist you in providing that feedback. To highlight the text and type over the information in the boxes on this worksheet, double-click on the first word. Name of the draft’s author: Ashley Davis Name of the peer reviewer: Breendina A. Pleshe Reviewer After reading through the draft one time, write a summary (3-5 sentences) of the paper that includes your assessment of how well the essay meets the assignment requirements as specified in the syllabus and the rubric. Upon reading this draft, It was put together fairly well. However, while reading the introduction paragraph, I wanted to say that this "which came back to show that the adults, who were of the ADHD cases and amazingly 90% of them had no history of this disorder has a child.", made very little sense to me how it is worded. I also see clear defined subtopics, but in the end of the introduction paragraph I didn't see a clear thesis sentence that re-iterates your 3 subtopics, make sure to get that in there, but you have a great foundation for it :). You have 8 references, definitely at least five, maybe a bit overkill though since it drags your reference page into 2 pages, maybe chop one from the block if able to. Overall great skeleton for a paper though :)

After a second, closer reading of the draft, answer each of the following questions. Positive answers will give you specific elements of the draft to praise; negative answers will indicate areas in need of improvement and revision. Please be sure to indicate at least three positive aspects of the draft and at least three areas for improvement in reply to the questions at the bottom of this worksheet. Commentary Content and Ideas 

How effectively does the thesis statement identify the main points that the writer would like to make in this commentary? No clear thesis yet, however three clear bold headed sub-topics.

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How descriptive is the writer’s choice of a label to name the issue in question? Really delves into the topic, can see research was certainly done.

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How effectively does the writer frame an issue at the beginning of the essay? Well enough without a full thesis, clearly it’s the phenomenon of ADHD, which their opinion seems to lean towards the aspect the disease is real, and can even affect adults later in life but not always as a child. (I hope I pieced that together right)

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How effective is the writer’s analysis of the issue in terms of causes and consequences? Very good, can see clear research done, just needs to be elaborated upon and have proper citation added.

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How persuasively is evidence used to support assertions and enrich the essay? Evidence is used to show the management of ADHD,impairment of ADHD and the phenomenon as a rationale illness, must still be expounded upon with own words and in-text citation.

How effectively does the essay’s content support the thesis by using strategies appropriate for commentaries, as outlined in chapter 10 of Writing with Purpose? The draft has some elements of strategies outlined in chapter 10, such as persuasion and diversity in perspective.

Organization 

How effectively does the introduction engage the reader while providing an overview of the paper? The current draft's first sentence drew me in, explaining ADHD's definition. however it was the second sentence that left me trying to piece it's information together. It did not have a clear thesis.

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Please identify the writer’s thesis and quote it in the box below. Without a clear thesis, I pieced it from the subtopics, a thesis for this paper could be: ADHD is most likely to be a real phenomenon, there are officiated facts about ADHD management, there is clear driver impairment in those who have been diagnosed, and ADHD can be latent until adulthood.

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How effectively do the paragraphs develop the topic sentence and advance the essay’s ideas? Overall well, needs some more information, but a strong start.

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How effectively does the conclusion provide a strong, satisfying ending, not a mere summary of the essay? It's actually really well done, I would just create and reiterate your thesis, and then also add a summary of the subtopics to make it longer. :)

Format 

How closely does the paper follow APA formatting style? Is it double-spaced in 12 pt. Times New Roman font? Does it have 1" margins? Does it use headers (page numbers using appropriate header function)? Does it have a proper heading (with student’s name, date, course, and instructor’s name)? Yes

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No Add optional clarification here

Are all information, quotations, and borrowed ideas cited in parenthetical APA format? Yes

No Need to get those in-text citations in there.

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Are all sources listed on the references page in APA format? Yes

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No Add optional clarification here

Is the required minimum number of sources listed? Yes No Add optional clarification here

Language Use and Style 

Are the voice and tone of the essay effective in characterizing ideas and creating the appropriate mood? If “No,” please provide examples of ineffective or inappropriate voice and tone. Yes No Add optional clarification here

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How effectively does the paper incorporate a variety of sentence structures that strengthen the ideas, create vitality, and avoid choppiness in the writing? Yes No Add optional clarification here

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How would you assess the writer’s diction (i.e., word choice)? Does the writer use active verbs, concrete nouns, and precise words? Yes No Add optional clarification here

Grammar and Mechanics 

Does the writer use proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling? If “No,” please provide examples of errors in need of correction. Yes No spelling/grammar errors

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Is the writing clear and comprehensible throughout the draft? If “No,” please provide examples in need of improvement. Yes No second sentence, introduction paragraph.

Three things that I liked about your draft are: 1. I like that I was able to piece it together with the clear subtopics 2. I can tell that you did your research 3. I like the work I can tell you put into the draft, likely in haste.

Three things that could be improved are: 1. Thesis

2. Grammar & Spelling 3. Give this bad boy a Title and don’t forget the format for a title is= title:title. Also, remember to reiterate your title on the first page above the introduction paragraph. :)...