Quiz #1 Notes PDF

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Detailed lecture notes with information from the textbook. Professor is Arroyo....

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CHAPTER 1 1. Significance of Relationships!  Belongingness Hypothesis: o Innate “need to belong” o Drive to form/maintain pleasant & stable relationships o Inability to meet need=loneliness, anxiety, mental distress  Role vs. Interpersonal vs. Close Relationships o Role relationship: two ppl who share some degree of behavioral interdependence; ppl are interchangeable not unique! Casual, temporary o Interpersonal relationship: mutual influence, have repeated, unique interaction over time o Close relationship: interpersonal +  Emotional attachment  Need fulfillment  irreplaceability 2. Close, intimate relationships a. Emotional attachment b. Need fulfillment c. Irreplaceability -Intimacy: being in a close personal association & belonging together d. In-To-Me-See 3. Interpersonal Communication -interpersonal communication consists of a variety of nonverbal and verbal messages that can be exchanged through various channels, including face-to-face and computer-mediated channels a. Kinesics: Facial expressions, body and eye movements, including posture, gestures, walking style, smiling, and pupil dilation, among other kinesic cues b. Vocalics: Silence and the way words are pronounced, including vocal pitch, loudness, accent, tone, and speed, as well as vocalizations such as crying and sighing c. Proxemics: The interpersonal use of space, including conversational distances and territory d. Haptics: The use of touch, ranging from affectionate to violent touch e. Appearance and adornment: Physical attributes such as height, weight, fitness, hair, and attractiveness, as well as adornments such as clothing, perfume, and tattoos f. Artifacts and environmental cues: Objects such as candles and soft music used to set a romantic mood, and ways the environment affects interaction through cues such as furniture arrangement and the size of a room g. Chronemic cues: The use of time, such as showing up for a date early or late, dominating a conversation, or waiting a long or short time for someone 

self-presentational goals: image we convey o Before attending meeting, dress like student so will fit in

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Relational goals: social tie we want with others o Ex: invited to parties, family on the Holiday’s, having people to travel with Instrumental goals: task oriented o Getting ride to school o Completing homework o Making money

4. Relational communication -Principles of Relational Comm a. Relationships emerge across ongoing interactions b. Relationships contextualize messages c. Comm sends a variety of relational messages d. Relational comm is dynamic 5. Staircase Model a. Relationship development and disengagement as LINEAR process! b. Coming together: i. Initiating 1. Initial interaction, ppl meet face to face 2. Exchange superficial info ii. Experimenting 1. Small talk: increasing breadth (# topics they discuss), increasing depth (intimacy level of comm) iii. Intensifying 1. More in depth conversation iv. Integrating 1. Present as a couple v. Bonding 1. Marriage 2. Declare commitment publicly c. Coming Apart i. Differentiating 1. Start doing things separate 2. Notice incompatibilities 3. Question each other ii. Circumscribing 1. Comm is constricted in depth and breadth 2. Talks revolve around mundane issues 3. Logistical talk iii. Stagnating 1. Comm is tense and awkward 2. Relationship in a standstill iv. Avoiding 1. Physical separation 2. I don’t know & I don’t care

3. Ignore each other v. Terminating 1. Breakup! d. Order/timing of stages not always orderly, skip stages 6. Turning points a. Any event associated with change in a relationship b. Tell relational change story c. Nonlinear relationship development d. 50-60% of relationships are nonlinear e. Types of Turning Points i. Comm-based 1. First time talked to someone, asked on date, define relationship ii. Activities & Special Occasion 1. Vacations, holidays, meeting family iii. Events related to passion & romance 1. First “I love you” 2. First sexual encounter 3. Falling in love iv. Events related to commitment & exclusivity 1. Date only each other 2. Moving in together 3. Getting married v. Changes in families and social networks 1. New baby 2. Step-children vi. Proximity & distance 1. Business trips, school breaks, friends no longer roommates vii. Crisis & conflict 1. Challenges in relationships 2. First big fight 3. Relational breakups 4. Deaths, accidents, financial issues viii. Perceptual changes 1. Not readily identifiable attitudes towards partner 7. Relational Dialectics/Managing relational dialectics a. Relationships dynamic, not static b. Healthy couples adapt to changing needs i. How to manage dialectical tensions: 1. Selection a. Values one side of the dialectic over the other i. Ex: call & answer more, choose one side of discourse 2. Neutralization a. Avoid embracing opposing discourses via

i. Moderation: try to reach midpoint, leave friend on read few times on snapchat if you think you are snapchatting someone too mucgh ii. Disqualification: being ambiguous, change topic 3. Separation a. Favoring each side of dialectic at diff times: if think getting too close, pull bit away for a while & when had enough space, pull back in b. Topical segmentation i. Reserve Saturday for date night & Friday for friends 4. Discursive mixtures a. Reframing b. Ex: if partner goes day without contacting you, say that’s okay, I knew we’d have a good convo. c. Reframe autonomy and connection so no longer in opposition! d. Hybrid: ex: decide do not need to talk all day & facetime on nights they aren’t together e. Aesthetic mvmt: ex: decide more excited to facetime or see each other in person if haven’t been in constant contact all day

-connection-autonomy: close to someone vs independent -predictability-novelty: excitement/spontaneity vs comfortable/predictability -conventionality-uniqueness: how ppl communicate in ways that show consistency or inconsistency w larger social group -openness-closeness: be open w partners but keep info to selves -revelation-concealment: push & pull wanting to reveal aspects of relationship to others vs keep parts private

8. Social Penetration Theory a. Self-disclosure increases gradually as people develop their relationships b. Depth: how deep comm is c. Breadth: how many topics d. Frequency: how often people disclose e. Duration: how long people self-disclose f. Valence: + or – charge of self-disclosure i. Ex: childhood mems=positive valence ii. Ex: disclose fears = negative valence g. Veracity: how honest or deceptive self-disclosure is 9. Liking and Reciprocity in self-disclosure a. Disclosure-liking hypothesis: when a sender discloses to a receiver, receiver will like the sender more i. More disclose to someone, more like that someone b. Liking-disclosure hypothesis i. More like someone, more disclosure c. Timing of self-disclosure must be gradual i. Depth of disclosure must reflect level of closeness in a relationship d. Dyadic effect: i. Reciprocal pattern of self-disclosure ii. Person reveals info & partner responds by offering info that is at similar level of intimacy

10. Self-disclosure in long-term relationships...