Revision Strategies PDF

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Strategies for revising an essay....

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Revision Strategies

Original Conclusion Paragraph Women have fought long and hard for our country's freedom, and they shouldn't be forgotten in American history books. They should feel confident that they will be protected if worse goes to worst by the programs in place in each branch. They also shouldn't be frightened that their personal lives will be kept private and not put into the public to be ridiculed and defamed. To reiterate, women have long been unrecognized in all of the American military's history, the policies and justice system continues to fail service-members daily, and the exploitation and over sexualization of a woman in uniform needs to be put to an end. Revision Strategy I intend to go through the self-evaluation checklist and to really see if this conclusion is bold enough to wrap up my essay. Right now I am not feeling confident that it is a good representation of summing up the passion that I have for this topic. I feel I could also do this for my counterargument by going back and rereading my peer review as well as instructor's notes. Revised Paragraph Equality is something that should be taken seriously, and worked on daily by an organization, like the military, that encompasses people from all walks of life. Women have fought long and hard as the uncredited underdog for our country's freedom, and they shouldn't be forgotten in today's history books. I believe women should feel confident that they will be protected by the programs in place from any situation that could harm them physically or mentally, or receive the justice deserved if a situation like that does occur. Women also shouldn't be afraid that their bodies and personal lives won't be kept private and will be put into the public to be ridiculed and defamed. Exploitation and sexualization needs to be put to an end, credit should be given where credit is due, and justice should be dealt to any service-member, man or woman, who is taken advantage of and put in harm's way whilst serving in the United States military....