Interpersonal Attraction PDF

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This lecture discuss the need to belong, the basics of interpersonal attraction, physical attractiveness, and gender differences in sexual attitudes and behaviors. A section Review is included at the end....

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PSY-B370 Social Psychology

Interpersonal Attraction Chapter 14 The Need to Belong  Is the motive to belong inherent to human nature? o The need to belong is satiable o When the need to belong is satisfied, people thrive o When the need to belong is chronically unmet, mental, and physical health decline  Psychological need: A mechanism for regulating behavior to acquire the tangible or intangible resources necessary for survival and well-being  Feelings of loneliness take a toll on mental and physical health, providing evidence that humans need to feel a sense of belonging  Evolution and belonging o From an evolutionary perspective  Over thousands of generations, the need to belong became a basic human characteristic o Evidence of evolutionary basis of need to establish and maintain intimate bonds with others  The motive to belong is universal (Eibl-Eibesfeldt)  Innate affiliate behaviors are seen in children worldwide and not seen in other species (Murray and others)  Rejection sensitivity: Rejection causes physical and psychological distress (Downey and Feldman)  Reproduction is more successful in the context of stable, close relationships o Early ancestors disposed to join in, lend a hand, listen to others, and care, were more likely to have offspring that could be raised to maturity and reproduce as well The Basics of Interpersonal Attraction  Proximity o The propinquity effect suggests that relationship development requires physical closeness o By increasing familiarity, proximity leads to greater comfort and attraction o Face-to-face social interactions are more important to mental health and life satisfaction than cyber socializing o The power of proximity—in many contexts, such as apartment complexes, you are randomly placed near some people and far from others. Nevertheless, physical location powerfully predicts to whom you are attracted and with whom you form relationships o Propinquity effect: increased likelihood of forming relationships with people who are physically close by  Reward model of liking (classical conditioning) o People like others whom they associate with positive stimuli and dislike others whom they associate with negative stimuli (Byrne and others) o People can also like or dislike someone simply because they happen to be around when they were feeling good or bad  Others’ attributes can be rewarding o What attributes of others evoke positive feelings that increase attraction to them?  Transference (Freud): The tendency to map, or transfer, feelings for a person who is known onto someone new who resembles that person in some way.  Culturally valued attributes (Fletcher and others)  Personality traits: friendliness, honesty, warmth, kindness, intelligences, a good sense of humor, emotional stability, reliability, ambition, openness, and extraversion  Attraction to Those Who Fulfill Needs o Attitude similarity: one of the strongest determinants of attraction is perceived similarity, especially similarity in attitudes and overall worldview  Perceived similarity increases attraction, and attraction increases perceived similarity

PSY-B370 Social Psychology  We like to be around people who share our attitudes and interests because it validates our view of the world  Similarity of several dimensions matters. People who become friends, lovers, and spouses tend to be similar in socioeconomic status, age, geographical location, ethnic identity, looks, and personality o Perceived versus actual similarity in personality traits  Actual personality similarity is not very predictive of attraction and relationship satisfaction, whereas perceived similarity is.  Complementary qualities in dissimilar people  Self-evaluation maintenance model  Several studies show that what is important for attraction and relationship commitment is how much people perceive that they are similar to another and not necessarily how similar are from an objective point of view o Perception similarity  James distinguished what the self is in terms of the content of who we are (the Me) from our subjective point of view on the world around us (the I).  Pinal and colleagues suggest that we “Me-Share” with others when we feel that we are the same kind of person, but we “I-share” with others when we believe that our subjective experiences of the world are the same, even if our respective “Me’s” seem very different o Norm of reciprocity extends to liking  Being liked is a strong initial factor in attraction  People are more likely to like someone who likes time  People anticipate rewards from those who like them well o Self-esteem benefits when people are liked by others o Flattery  Humans often like people—and sometimes computers—who flatter them  Flattery is not always effective if an ulterior motive is obvious  Compliments and liking increase attraction more if the person giving them out seems discriminating o Gain-loss theory (Aronson and Linder): The theory of attraction that posits that liking is highest for others when they increase their positivity toward you over time  In some contexts, a compliment from a stranger or someone who has never complimented a person is more potent that a compliment from a friend or spouse. Criticism will have a similar impact Physical Attractiveness  Physical attractiveness: Can influence political decisions (Todorov and colleagues), popularity, and likelihood of a second date  Why is physical attractiveness important? o Is first attribute by which a person is identified o Contributes to sexual appeal o Is influenced by culture o May contribute to more positive evaluation when partner is more physically attractive (Sigall and Landy)  Physical Attractiveness Stereotype (Halo Effect) o Halo effect: The tendency to assume that people with one positive attribute also have other positive traits o Effects occur throughout life span in many contexts  Cuter premature infants are treated better  Young children preferred attractive peers  Bias throughout elementary school years  Teachers saw attractive children as more intelligent and potentially successful  Attractive defendants are less likely to be found guilty in jury trials

PSY-B370 Social Psychology o Is there truth to the stereotype?  Attractive people are generally more outgoing, popular, and socially skilled, but they are not higher in self-esteem or life satisfaction  Self-fulfilling prophecies may also be at work  Meta-analyses have found that people are equally positive in their treatment of attractive men and women  Culture and historical periods influence the stereotype o People may be mistaken in the actual physical attractiveness of others. o Attractive people do not want to be judged only on their attractiveness  Common Denominators of physical Attractiveness o The allure of “Average” Faces  If you digitally average original photos of faces, the result is a composite face. The more real faces that are used to create the composite face, the more attractive the composite face is deemed to be. Evolutionary psychologists argue that we are attracted to these “average” faces because they signal good health and thus good mating potential o People agree on who is and is not physically attractive much more than they disagree o Averageness effect: The tendency to perceive a composite image of multiple faces that have been photographically averaged as more attractive than any individual face included in that composite o The importance of symmetry: People tend to rate more symmetrical faces as more attractive.  Some psychologists say that this preference stems from an innate tendency to search for healthy mates.  Sexual Orientation and Attraction o Edith Windsor gained national attention in the landmark lawsuit that ultimately led to the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act in 2013 o Her description of how her relationship with Thea Spyer unfolded reveals many of the same factors that influence heterosexual attraction o People, whether they are gay, straight, or bisexual, generally are attracted to people who provide affection, are dependable, and have share interests (Peplau & Fingerhut, 2007)  Gender Differences in What is Attractive o Both men and women  Equally and highest rankings to kindness, dependability, a good sense of humor, and a pleasant disposition o Men: Signs of fertility  Younger partner, large eyes, small noes, small chin, full lips combined with features that signal maturity o Over the course of evolutionary history, men and women both were motivated to reproduce, but they faced different reproductive challenges.  As a result, men and women evolved to have different, specialized preferences in their mates that favor the conception, birth, and survival of their offspring  Waist-to-Hip Ratio o When people are asked to judge which of these women is most attractive, the average preference is usually a woman with a 0.7 ratio of waist to hip. o Over time, standards of attractiveness for the overall size of women’s bodies have changed, but the ideal of a 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio has remained fairly constant. Today, films like Into the Blue (2005) try to draw large audiences by featuring actresses like Jessica Alba wearing outfits that highlight this ideal waist-tohip ratio  Cultural and Situational Influences on Attractiveness o People in different cultures are attracted to those who exemplify the traits that their culture values o Standards of beauty vary over time o Cultures vary in the kind of ornamentation people use to enhance their attractiveness o High-status attributes in a given culture are often viewed as more attractive

PSY-B370 Social Psychology  Skin tones  Body size and weight  Current motivational state of having or not having resources (men); less critical for women  Situational Influences on Attractiveness o Mass media effects  Emphasis on thin ideal; tendency to objectify women  Unrealistic standard of feminine beauty o Is appearance destiny?  Perceived attractiveness is not locked in stone at birth  Physical beauty standards change over time  People change with age  Experience with a person can elevate his or her beauty Gender Differences in Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors  What people say o Men  Casual sex outside committed relationship  Cannot wait to lose virginity; mixed feelings for on-third  Regret not pursuing sex  Want to begin sex sooner, more often o Women  Sex as part of emotionally intimate relationship  Ambivalent about sex; looking for one-third  Less likely to regret not pursuing sex  Want sex later, less often  What People Do o Men, on average, have a higher sex drive than women do.  More frequent and intense sexual desires  More time fantasizing  More money spent on sex  More masturbation  More likely to be sexually unfaithful  More likely to have multiple partners in polygamous cultures  An Evolutionary Perspective o An evolutionary perspective  Gender difference in meaning of reproductive success  Inherent parental investment (Trivers)  Gender difference in mating strategies  Short-term mating strategies (men)  Long-term mating strategies (women)  Does not imply that men and women employ a single mating strategy across all situations and periods in their lives  Cultural Influences o Most frequently endorsed motives for sex among college-student and community samples (cooper and colleagues):  Enhancing physical or emotional pleasure  Fostering intimacy  Affirming sense of self-worth  Coping with negative emotions  Gaining partner or peer approval o Cultural norms influence  What is and is not permissible

PSY-B370 Social Psychology  Comfort level about reporting permissive sexual attitudes and behaviors  How a person is shaped by and interacts with the social and cultural environment  Reactions to Infidelity o Early research  Significant gender differences reported  81% of women and 51% of men said they would be upset if their partner fell in love with someone else  Monogamous tendencies evolved and led to the cultural rituals that sanction them o Modern research  Across cultures and online relationships, men worry over sexual infidelity; women worry over infidelity (replication of Buss research). Some contend these gender differences were overstated (Harris) and that there are methodological flaws  There are gender differences in how infidelity is affected by self-esteem  Not all data aspects fit with an evolutionary account

PSY-B370 Social Psychology

Section Review The Need to Belong  Evidence of a fundamental need to belong o Like hunger, the need to belong can be satisfied o Belonging promotes mental and physical health o Loneliness takes a toll on mental and physical health  Evidence that the need to belong has an evolutionary basis o People of all cultures share the need to belong o Newborn infants instinctively engage other people o Social rejection activates the same stress as physical pain o Long-term relationships promote successful procreation and raising of offspring The Basics of Interpersonal Attraction  Proximity o Physical proximity is an important factor in developing relationships, although its importance is tempered by social media  Reward Model o People like others whom they associate with positive feelings and dislike others whom they associate with negative feelings  Attributes of the Person o People like those who remind them of others they like o People like those with culturally desirable attributes o Self-reports of traits that people prefer often to do not predict their liking of people they meet who have those traits  Our Psychological Needs o People tend to like others who fulfill their needs for meaning and self-esteem o Specifically, those who:  Are perceived as similar to the self  Reciprocate liking  Flatter them Physical Attractiveness  Importance of physical attractiveness o Sexual and aesthetic appeal did predict liking o Association with attractive people can bolster self-esteem o Attractive people are stereotyped to have positive traits  Common Denominators of Attractive Faces o Composite and symmetrical faces are rated as more attractive, perhaps as a reflection of good health or because they seem familiar.  Cultural and Situational Factors o Standards of beauty vary across cultures and over time o Scarcity and status influence trends o Mass media have been influential in creating impossible standards of beauty that may be hurtful to selfimage, especially for women.  Is Appearance Destiny? o Attractiveness can change across time and place o People can control their perceived attractiveness by being positive in expression and behavior  Gender Differences in What is Attractive o Men universally prefer a waist-to-hip ratio that suggests fertility

PSY-B370 Social Psychology o At times of peak fertility, women seem to be more attracted to more masculine faces o Men report an ideal preference for attractiveness and women an ideal preference for social and financial status o In actual relationships, men and women are equally influenced by physical attractiveness and, to a lesser extent, partner status o Women’s stated preference for higher-status men might also be changing as women achieve greater equality o Both men and women rank warmth and loyalty above all other factors Gender Differences in Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors  Evolutionary perspective o Men’s attitudes reflect the reproductive advantages of mating, with multiple women, while women’s attitudes reflect the need to find one mate to help support child rearing.  Cultural Influences o Cultural norms also affect attitudes, as evidenced by the change in acceptance of premarital sex across generations as well among cultures  Men, Women, and Infidelity o There is some evidence that men and women view infidelity from different perspectives o Researchers debate the relative role of evolution and culture in creating these differences....