My Sexual Self Reflection PDF

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April 7th,2018 Human Sexuality My Sexual Self Reflection The decision-making process in choosing a topic that reflects my sexual self was very hard. At first, I kept thinking what I should write about because I was confused on what the assignment was asking, but after a clarification, I thought to myself about a time in which I realized who I was as a sexual human being. The topic that I choose was about a time I had my first orgasm and when I realized the sexual part of myself as a female. I thought writing about this experience was weird and shocking, but at the same time I also, thought this was a great assignment for everyone to participate in. My personal feelings when writing about my experience weren’t awful or crazy because I made it into a poem format. This assignment caused me to actually take time to reminisce back to my first time and think in detail what happened. The topic I wrote about is important to me because as a female there are many new things you experience when having sex. There are times in which some partners you come across may ask you to partake in an activity that you don't feel comfortable with and there are partners who won't ask you to perform these acts. However, even if the acts were to be performed, it can affect a female personally in the matter that it correlates with your sexual decisions as a female. In other words, my topic relates to the Circles of Sexuality because it explains how I label myself as a female and the type of roles I play when learning about sexuality. I would locate my topic between the Sexual identity and Sexualization circle because the experience I wrote explains how I understand who I am sexually and what my gender role as a female consist of. An example of this is when I explained my first time giving pleasure and my partner told me he would show me what to do. This made me feel more comfortable with not knowing how to

perform an act correctly but, receiving the help without getting judged. Furthermore, in order for me to present one of my fellow classmate experiences I read it over a couple of times so I could feel the emotion of the person behind the paper. The way in which I prepared myself to read the assignment in class was making sure I expressed the emotions very well. It was a little hard to actually show the emotions on my face, but I tried my best to express the feeling. In the assignment, I presented there were many moments that showed struggle, hardship, and loneliness. As I was preparing myself to read those parts I made sure the tone of my voice was comparable to the feelings and emotion the person was feeling. Also, the way I presented my classmate assignment was the way in which I expected. I went up there with the mindset of being in the person’s shoes and how I would express this experience to others. I believe the way I presented was very good because I spoke in a tone that expressed how strong of a fighter the person was when they went through this experience. The feeling I gained when I was assigned to present one of my classmate’s work was shocking. My first initial impression was thinking about what kind of experience I would have to present in front of the class. Would it be sad, would it connect with me or would it be the opposite. However, after receiving one of my classmates, experience I read through it and felt sad, hurt and worried. I could only imagine what this person went through. To be bullied every day by students older than you along with getting beaten with belts and planks is an awful experience and I wouldn't wish it upon no one. This experience hurt my heart, and gave me thoughts that you don't know what a person went through or goes through to be who they are today unless they decide to open up. My thoughts about having to present one of my classmate’s assignment weren’t negative. I kept telling myself this would be a nice experience because it will express how each individual

has a hidden secret or story behind themselves as a sexual person. Also, I kept reminding myself when I get called up to present, make sure I have confidence in what I’m reading and show emotion so the audience can understand and try to imagine the experience for themselves. Moreover, when I heard my experience aloud the first thing I thought was how others probably could relate. It didn't make me feel too uncomfortable, but it did make me think back and tell myself this really happened. When listening to my classmates, experience it made me feel respected and honored that someone could share a moment that impacted their sexual orientation, morals, values, and identity. Perhaps, the thoughts running through my head when my classmates’ experiences were read aloud was how each and everyone is a strong individual and no matter what negativity that affected their sexual self it didn’t break them as a person. Each experience read aloud was relatable to another student and made me feel that the person next to me could have or already have been in one of these situations. It also, gave me another perspective on how to communicate to people and express my feelings. In addition, many themes stood out to me based on the experiences that were read. These include betrayal, sensitive, proud/strong, sad, virginity loss, strict parents, self- reflection and abusive relationships. These themes were out in the open with details explaining how much of an impact this had on individuals. There were two main themes repeated throughout the presentations and I believe they were virginity loss and self-reflection. To my knowledge, many female students expressed the first time they lost their virginity and self-reflected upon it. Also, there were self-reflection experiences by males who reflected back onto a time when they were betrayed by a female, an embarrassing moment at the time of sex and reflecting back onto the first date with a girl.

Lastly, reflecting back onto the experiences I can connect well with the strict parents’ rules, virginity loss and having expectations but not having them met. First off, I come from a family where my parents are strict on relationships and who you date. In my opinion, there are many things I do understand and take from them, but other things I rather not take. The reason for that is simply because as an individual we need to go through trial and error ourselves in order to know who is right for us and who isn't. Our parents shouldn't tell us who we need to be with but rather give advice with an explanation. Also, I connected well with the experiences that discussed expectations. As a female, we tend to always have high expectations during sex and when they aren't met it’s an issue. Other times include when in a relationship we have expectations we want our partner to met because we have the mindset of not wanting to settle for less but settle for what we are worth....